Previously on...Survivor!Beady night-vision eyes spied on the players as they trudged back to camp. Gollum? A wild Hantz?
Attempting to stand his torch against a tree, Tony knocked over several of his tribemates' torches. Foreshadowing? LJ looked on, undisturbed. Pay attention, LJ, the editors are trying to tell you something!
Tony, not understanding Survivor, asked the opposing alliance why they keep voting for him. Even after Spencer calmly replied it was because he is a threat, Tony continued freaking out. Does he not realize the others see how hard and fast he is playing? Tony: "When Jeff turned that card and it said 'Tony', I probably pooped myself." Probably, Tony? How can you not be sure? Or is it a timing issue? Tony berated the opposition for a while, then thanked them for the "compliment".
Trish: "Tony definitely has a lot of paranoia...He spins a lot. His brain is going all the time. But this is a game of patience so hopefully he doesn't do anything stupid."
Tony: "Looking at LJ is like looking at myself in a mirror." Stop! So that's why I've had such a devil of a time telling them apart. I thought I was just racist because they're both white. I've had to keep reminding myself that Tony is the short, balding, ratlike schemer while LJ is the tall, handsome, sociable horse whisperer who kills puzzles. Okay, back to the confessional; Tony: "He's sharp, he's staying two or three steps ahead. So I want LJ gone, but I don't want to be the bad guy to get rid of him. We are tight and he trusts me 100%. So I have to try and trick him into breaking a promise to one of our six. Once he does that, that is my safe way out. I am not only leading the horse (whisperer) to the water, but I am going to make the horse (whisperer) drink the water." Typical cop, practicing entrapment.
Tony wanted to be the one talking strategy on the reward, and his determination, along with Jeremiah and Spencer's help, won the three reward. Tony: "I am going to talk with Spencer and Jeremiah because I am thinking of blindsiding LJ. You might as well call me The Opportunist because, if I see an opportunity, I am going to jump on it." Are we sure Phillip Shepard didn't already trademark "The Opportunist"? Along with every other lame pseudo-spy name in the books?
Though Woo bemoaned missing out on the manis, pedis, and mimosas, he was reassured to know that his "boy" Tony was keeping an eye on Spencer and Jeremiah. Oh, Woo. Why do I feel you are a lamb being led meekly to the slaughter?
Acknowledging Tony's paranoia, LJ wasn't too concerned: "I built a strong bond with Tony, proving my loyalty to him. I pulled my idol out for him and we're in it to the end. I trust that he will do the right thing." Why anyone trusts Tony at this point, I do not know.
On reward, Tony told Spencer and Jeremiah he wanted to use them at some point. Smartly, they showed no offense, but Spencer wondered aloud if it would be at a time when they were still in the game. Spencer then gave Tony a great line, telling him that Jeremiah and Spencer were mere pawns in great game of Survivor, and that Tony could use them as he saw fit. This played nicely into Tony's visions of grandeur, as they sat around in their kimonos, puffing cigars like Sopranos extras. Privately, Spencer told us: "I will be honest - I don't trust Tony that much. Tony is playing a lot of people right now. He's juggling a lot of balls, and I'm just one of them....but I will tell Tony I trust him 100%."
Tasha realized what LJ should have known: "I think LJ is smart enough to realize that Tony is not going to take another strong guy to the end." Tasha invited LJ to a secret rendezvous, but LJ, fearing Tony's paranoia (calling him a "flaming ball of anxiety", which I think I saw as an animated character on an ulcer medication commercial) neglected to show. #stoodup!
After Tasha won immunity, LJ told his alliance to split votes between Spencer and Jeremiah. Trish was certain none of her six would flip at this stage of the game. LJ even told us: "For the first time in this game, I feel comfortable." Danger Will Robinson!
Meanwhile, Tony was determined to strike LJ before LJ struck him: "Here's the deal: I won't wait to get a punch thrown at me by LJ...LJ is a threat so I have to strike now before he gets the idea of doing it to me." Tony then convinced Woo that LJ was gunning for Woo. It took about 4 seconds. Woo: "I was 100% down with the six, but apparently LJ, Mr. Con Man, for some reason wants to blindside me...I trust Tony that he's got my back so it's great to have him on my side." Oh, Woo. Pretty hilarious hearing Woo call LJ the con man here, though, not to mention saying how much he trusts Tony. Woo trusts Tony, LJ trusts Tony, Trish trusts Tony, everybody trusts Tony. Except the guys back at his precinct, I bet. Oh yeah, and Spencer and Jeremiah - they don't trust Tony.
Trish and Kass weren't as receptive as Woo to Tony's plans. Kass, especially, had a laughable response: "I love a good blindside, but it's too soon. No one wants to make a big move right now. You'd be stupid and I think Tony knows that. All six of us are in a great position as long as we stick with our alliance." Ha. Ha. Kass, where was this sound thinking few votes ago when you broke ranks with your alliance because no one was kowtowing to you? Gah. This woman.
At TC, you could see the effect Morgan had on Sarah at Ponderosa. Last week, Sarah came in wearing frumpy shorts and a shirt. This week, Morgan had her all dolled up and looking hot. Thanks, Morgan! Those two look as thick as thieves.
Tony volunteered to Probst that he had brought his "bag of tricks" to TC. Asked what exactly that meant, Tony merely responded that Probst would probably find out tonight. Not sure what the point fo that was, except it should have rattled LJ's calm, cool, collected nerves. But nope.
Why is Tony still insisting he's a construction worker? He's a cop. He's a construction worker. He's half of The Village People!
When Tasha tried to insinuate his alliance wasn't "tight", LJ brushed it off as a "reality check" for her. Certainly, someone was about to get a reality check...
The votes showed that Tony and Woo both jumped ship and voted with Spencer's alliance, sending LJ home. On the jury, Morgan and Sarah could barely contain their enthusiasm, bouncing around with huge, um, smiles.
Next time on...Survivor! Tony has upset the apple cart, so he will now take the apple cart apart and use it to build more spy shacks. That'll work. Also, Woo plays Sonic the Hedgehog again, but this time he can't quite make it around that upside down loop. Plus, letters from home. I wonder what Kass' cats have to say.
Enjoy!
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