Previously on...Survivor!Following Cliff's fall, Lindsey was not a happy person: "You guys just screwed up royally." She's talking to Trish and Tony, but I don't think she is correct. Trish helped herself quite a bit, in my opinion. Tony I'm not so sure about, but Tony is screwed, regardless.
Trish responded: "I will respect you because this is a team going forward. But I don't like you." Lindsey probably gets that a lot, except for the respect part. It's hard to respect people who have none for others. Granted, Trish may not be the easiest person to get along with, but Lindsey's hateful mocking of her lacked all respect.
Lindsey, who would later excuse her quit by stating she wanted to be a good example for her daughter (honey, when the going gets tough, the tough quit!) instead of beating up a skinny, old, white woman, had a sweet reply for Trish: "You disgust me. Everything about you is annoying. Your laugh. Your teeth. Your face. Everything about you I cannot stand. So how about you just back off a little bit and shut up and not talk to me for a while." Trish: "Do you think I'm annoying?" (she has poor listening skills). Lindsey: "Yes". Trish: "Do you think I care?" Okay, so Trish is annoying. But she doesn't care.
Lindsey also called Trish "the most horrific person I've ever met" and said "I can leave here and never think of you again." Definitely not true.
Lindsey: "(Trish is) a bully with a mouth as big as a horse." Wait - her mouth is as big as a horse? Or as big as a horse's mouth? Also - it takes one to know one. From what I saw, Lindsey has Trish beat on the "mean girl" scale.
Lindsey vacated the camp in her underwear and bra and pouted: "I am not going to stick around Trish's mouth." Then someone got on the banana phone and called Probst in. Probst asked what her problem was and Lindsey replied that "as soon as we got back to camp Trish explodes on me" (we didn't see that) and she was concerned she was going to "flip out" on Trish. Lindsey decided she was a quitter. Offered a chance to say goodbye to her tribe, Lindsey said yes, and that she wanted to be "the bigger person" (ha!). Then she left. Umm, so much for being the bigger person, I guess.
Probst went back to Solana and told them they had lost another member. He didn't seem too upset, and neither did his tribe, with the exception of Woo, who was down to zero alliance mates. LJ: "That was a huge, volatile zit waiting to pop." Descriptive, LJ. And...gross. Meanwhile, Tony was all "A beautiful thing...two for the price of one!"
Personally, I think Lindsey was just a poor sport. Things didn't go her way and she quit, coming up with a lame excuse. So she was afraid of her own violent tendencies? It had nothing to do with saying that she wished she hadn't put herself through this earlier in the season when the rains were pouring down? It had nothing to do with the fact that her plans were screwed? Plans that, apparently, she fell into, because I didn't see her actively playing the game, just schmoozing with Cliff. But kudos to you, Lindsey, for avoiding violence over a game. Your inspiration, Martin Luther King, Jr., would be proud. Welcome to the ranks of the quitters; Brandon and Colton are waiting for you in the hall of shame.
At the RC, Alexis was thrilled her Beauty buddies LJ and Jefra were still around, and did a poor job of hiding it, tossing a little wave: "I'm happy to see our Beauties still standing. You know, I'm happy, of course." Of course, Alexis. No reason that should worry your new tribemates, right?
The RC was the classic "knock your opponents idol to the ground before he knocks yours". First match featured Spencer the Brain versus Woo the martial arts instructor. Seems fair. But, Spencer, using the "toss your idol in the air and knock off your opponent's before yours hits the ground" technique, surprised Woo and won first point.
Later Morgan faced Tony in a round. "Only look at her eyes, brother," advised LJ. Snork. Probst agreed: "You'll get sucked in." Yeah, because it's her eyes that are the distraction. Morgan made a face at LJ's comment. No love lost there, I'm thinking.
With Reward on the line, Woo got revenge against Spencer, pouncing on him like a ninja. Racist? Anyway, the reward was a camp raid. As soon as I heard the word "raid", I knew Tony would be thrilled and insist on going. The Solana's were allowed to take two comfort items from the Aparri camp (they chose the pillow/blankets and the fishing gear/spices). Tony and Woo were also given a clue to the HII back at their own beach. However, Tony, who just can't stop making moves, be they good or bad, came up with a plan to "burn" an Aparri member. Tony told Aparri that part of the Reward was a clue to a HII at Aparri beach that they had to share with an Aparri member. Tony targeted Jeremiah, pulling him away from the tribe and giving him the clue. There goes Tony, sowing Russell seeds. I guess Tony never noticed that all of Russell's seeds turned to weeds, never winning him the game. Jeremiah immediately recognized the clue as identical to one he had seen before at Solana (although he couldn't prove it, as Tony remembered at the last moment to take the clue back) and realized he was being set up. He tried to convince his tribemates, but in the paranoia game that is Survivor, damage had been done. Plus, Jeremiah's just not very good at explaining himself.
"Shame on you Lindsie" was scratched in the sand at Solana. Couldn't agree more. Quitter.
Tony, so excited about the ruse he played on Jeremiah, simply could not wait to tell his tribemates. He's an evil genius! Just ask him! Even dim Jefra seemed wary: "Tony's playing full out, balls to the wall. He's lying, stealing, and cheating, and I'm just glad he's on our side."
Tony, still flush with victory, decided the time had come to out himself as a liar, and proceeded to tell the tribe that he had been untruthful about his occupation all season, and confessed to being a cop. He did this in the spur of the moment, it seemed, to cement his new alliance, which he apparently is in love with (he also stated that he had no feelings for anyone in his old tribe except for Trish, Sarah). Why, I don't know. LJ is very dangerous and smarter than Tony, Woo could go anywhere, and Trish is partly crazy. Jefra? Jefra is just there, taking up space. LJ (who had thought Tony sort of dumb before, which Alexis also said in an exit interview) didn't miss the significance of Tony's "honest" moment: "So, to solidify that he's trustworthy, Tony reveals that he has lied...Different." Meanwhile, Tony obliviously promised that theirs was a final five alliance and that he could be trusted. Heh. I don't think anyone trusts you, Tony. You've made certain of that. Tony even admitted that he had planned to swear on a son that he didn't have. Making up a fake relative always works, right?
Compelled to honesty by Tony's admissions, Trish had a revelation of her own: "I'm really a man." Interesting.
A complicated IC (yes, there were more large poles) came down to a puzzle - and copying. Slightly behind, Tony (of course) began shouting instructions to LJ, telling him what the other team's puzzle looked like. LJ, who has dominated puzzles this season, finished first and Solana won immunity.
"TOP FIVE! TOP FIVE BABY!" shouted Tony, forgetting himself in ecstasy. Nice work, moron. Nothing like alienating the other seven people left in the game. Math, people. Math! The shouts did not escape Sarah's notice: "That's a pretty tell-tale sign that I'm not in their future plans, so I guess I'm moving on and I'll make a new alliance."
While Tony's "top 5" comments alienated Sarah, they also served to crank up the paranoia on Aparri, as members were convinced that Solana thought they had someone on Aparri who would flip to them at the merge. Alexis, wasting no time throwing Jeremiah under the bus, encouraged the thought that it was Jeremiah who would flip, especially after the HII clue business with Tony. Spencer felt Alexis was being disingenuous: "I think Alexis is a little smarter than she lets on. I like girls who own how smart they are...She's not to be trusted as far as making moves." I think at some point Spencer must have seen through Tony's ruse with the HII clue and Jeremiah.
Sarah promised loyalty: "You have my word. I will not flip."
Kass liked the Brains' power, too: "We just needed people to boss around. The Brains needed a body. We found our zombies, now we're in." Yeah, bossing people aruond will surely get you to the end, Kass. Also, that made me laugh.
At TC, Probst asked Kass if Sarah was seated in the middle, when what he meant to ask was if Sarah was in the middle of two alliances. Kass simply replied with a wry, semi-straight face that, yes, Sarah was seated in the middle. Heh. I like Kass' sense of humor.
Probst asked Kass about the opportunities for the Brains, considering the Beauties fractured alliance. Kass ventured that she was surprised to learn that the Beauties weren't living a beautiful life. Spencer wanted to fix the fractures in Aparri. Alexis mentioned the raid and the HII clue given to Jeremiah. Jeremiah attempted to defend himself: "I seen right through that, so I hope they believe me." Eloquent, Jeremiah. Alexis: "I don't know if he understands what's happening." Well, someone doesn't.
As Probst read the votes, Alexis' eyes began to go all Marty Feldman, bulging in disbelief and shock. Tears began to flow as the boot became a fact. Meanwhile, Morgan grinned devilishly. BFF!
Clearly the uberfan did not see it coming (Alexis mentioned in an interview she was completely blindsided, and had been congratulating herself during TC on making it to the merge and was making post-merge plans). Completely broken, Alexis bawled as her torch was snuffed and all the way down loser's lane. She was still sobbing when giving her goodbye speech. Blubbering. Poor baby. Keep shaking that booty, Alexis; perhaps you will twerk yourself back onto the show.
Alexis, post-boot (translated as best I could through the snot and tears): "I'm one of the biggest fans and so it really breaks my heart that I can't even make it to the merge."
Next time on...Survivor!
Spencer: "I think it's a merge...bottom line is, the other tribe is coming over. We're all going to be living on the same beach."
Morgan: "They're coming here?"
Me: hahahaha
Enjoy!
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