LAST EDITED ON 03-19-14 AT 02:18 PM (EST)LAST EDITED ON 03-19-14 AT 02:15 PM (EST)
Previously on...Survivor!
Following Brice's boot, Morgan was ticked at Jeremiah, calling him a chicken. A chicken, as you saw later, is not what you want to be on this tribe. She went on the offensive, asking Jeremiah in front of the entire tribe why he had changed his mind and not sided with her and Brice - basically outing his duplicity to the tribe. Jeremiah clumsily attempted to cover his tracks.
Later, with Jeremiah out of the shelter, Morgan told Alexis that Jeremiah wanted LJ out, but thought they needed him for challenges, so was targeting Alexis instead. Gotta give Morgan credit for trying, here. The quick shot of LJ's raised eyebrows at Morgans revelations was interesting. Alexis admitted that Jeremiah may need to be watched.
The RC featured multiple crotch shots for LJ. Not that kind. Blindfolded, LJ had a keen knack for running his privates into various obstacles, as Alexis shouted "Sorry!". Hee. That helps. Thank you challenge builders - that was hilarious. Probably less so for LJ, who wound up walking around hunched over and/or with his hands covering his privates. Heh. LJ now stands for "lame junk". Spencer and Lindsey joined LJ in the "Ram your most sensitive spot into something hard and unforgiving" game, and yes, I realize that sounded dirty.
Brains had second place, at least, wrapped up in the challenge, at least until J'Tia had her usual challenge implosion. Panicking, yet again, J'Tia could not manage to place a flag on a mat. I know - it sounds tough. And it proved far too complicated a task for the mentally challenged nucular engineer. Tasha didn't help, either, screaming her fool head off at J'Tia instead of calming her down and/or getting Spencer to finish the job. Spencer would have gotten his flag raised, I bet. Meanwhile, Probst was aghast at their incompetence: "Unbelieveable!". I had to agree. It was awesome, sad, and hilarious watching that meltdown. The Brains could have used those eggs.
J'Tia: "We did a good job." I don't think that means what she thinks it means. I wonder if she does a "good job" at nuclear engineering?
LJ said the RC "was a fun one." That's "fun" for LJ? After the bashing he took, I think he's nuts.
So the post-challenge highlight was watching the Beauty tribe attempt to figure out their chicken situation. Alexis was on an egg roll, asking questions about whether the hens and the rooster had to "get it on with the hens" to produce eggs. LJ attempted to educate his tribe about chicken sex, and that roosters were not necessary for the production of eggs, only for the production of baby chicks. This just produced more questions from Alexis: "So the eggs just keep happening?" and "So what is the rooster for?". At one point she thought they would need a "heat lamp". LJ finally helped the poor dear understand when he gently stated: "You carry eggs..." You could see the light dimly flicker behind Alexis' eyes as she made the connection between her eggs needing to be fertilized and the chickens' eggs. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the c.ock.
LJ even tried to address the old poser - which came first, the chicken or the egg? Clearly, LJ stated, eggs came first, because the dinosaurs had eggs, and the dinosaurs came before the chickens. Can't argue with that. LJ should quit horse training and start egg farming. He's got a knack. Or perhaps become a teacher; he has biology and history down pat.
Jeremiah choked his chicken and the tribe enjoyed it. The chicken, I mean (which briefly ran around for a moment exactly like a chicken with it's head cut off, prompting Alexis to ask: "So chickens don't need a brain to function?" The editors were not kind to you this episode, Alexis. I wonder what she would make of the famous "Mike the Headless Chicken"? Google it!). Except Morgan, who declared that while she would act nice about it, and say "thank you", she still was angry at Jeremiah, calling him "dumb as rocks" and questioning his credentials to be on the "Beauty" tribe. Wow, Morgan, that made you look ugly. Quite a feat.
Meanwhile, Sarah, due to Tony's COP LIES, is on a mission to oust Uncle Cliffy, and attempted to enlist Woo(!). Surprisingly, Woo seemed to be on board with the idea that Cliff should be the first Brawn out, mainly because Cliff already "got fat bankroll". Woo privately told us that he was simply trying to be in with the majority, and had to take opportunities when they presented themselves. Woo may be a better player in this game than I suspected.
Of course, Tony got all paranoid when he saw Woo and Sarah with their heads together, so Sarah had to talk him down, and let him know that Woo was with them. The power of Woo! During this exchange we saw two things. First, Tony swearing on his badge to have Sarah's back - and then assuring us once again that it meant nothing to him: "I'm here to lie, cheat, and steal. I'm here to drag people's dreams through the mud so I can pursue mine." Second, does Tony look like a rat to you? Not rat as in "narc"; that's too obvious (Sarah has copdar, I have narcdar). I just mean his mannerisms, his way of darting his eyes about, twitching his head and nose and whiskers like a sneaky little, disease infested, paranoid rat. Yes? Gah. I wonder if his fellow officers will trust him after this. I wonder if they trusted him before.
Woo was less on board with throwing the IC, especially as the challenge featured hoops and he was playing with his childhood idol, NBA legend Uncle Cliffy (more games played than Jordan, Magic, and Bird!). Thank God. Trish also wasn't thrilled with the idea, but she seems willing to do anything to have a place in the tribe. Sarah didn't think it mattered if Cliff figured out they were throwing the challenge, since he would be booted, anyway. Wow. Had a lot of hope for Sarah early on, but that is just dumb gameplay.
The IC featured more of J'Tia doing everything wrong. She couldn't swim. She couldn't dive. She couldn't retrieve a buoy. She could barely move in the water. She couldn't rebound a ball or get it back to Spencer. At one point I thought Spencer might rip his hair out over her horrible "efforts". Spencer had to do everything, getting all the buoys and nearly outshooting Cliff at the end, but he could not overcome J'tia's incompetence, and the Brains lost...again. This, despite the fact that Sarah and Trish were doing their best to throw the challenge. Fortunately for Cliff, Woo did not, and the Cliff and Woo show saved the day for Brawn. Oh yeah, Beauty won the IC easily.
Spencer felt "gypped". That's life, buddy, and especially life on Survivor. Still, I'm rooting for him. Never thought I would say that before the season started, but, far from the egotistical show-off I anticipated, Spencer has played a solid, intelligent, steady game, and has been a likable character.
J'Tia told us she felt like that "Just hang in there, baby, Friday's coming!" cat on the poster. J'Tia, that cat always looked far more comfortable than you have this entire season.
Tasha and Kass vacillated forever over the boot decision. Keep hard-working, steady Spencer or the loose cannon, the ludicrously ineffective and insane J'Tia. You know, the one who dumped all of your food. Jeebilus.
Tough choice.
Probst began TC in silence, just staring dumbfounded at the Brains with his hands in the air, like "WTF?" Worst tribe ever, Jeff? Probst then nearly had an apoplectic fit at TC, watching Kass and Tasha decide "right here!" who to keep. I'm sure I wasn't the only one watching dying for them to keep Spencer. Kid is playing hard, and well. J'Tia is worse that worthless, and I hate seeing people like that carried through the game over more deserving players. As Tasha and Kass debated loyalty, Spencer sagely stated: "Unpredictability is just as dangerous as disloyalty." "Unpredictable" is the nicest thing anyone has called J'Tia this season. Thankfully, J'Tia got the boot. Spencer was immensely relieved, and seemingly grateful, as he swore allegiance to Tasha and Kass.
In her exit speech, J'Tia admitted she sucked in challenges and sabotaged her own tribe by dumping food: "Yeah, those are two really good reasons...You make mistakes and grow. I'm just gonna grow outside the game." Ha! Here's hoping!
Next time on...Survivor! Probst: "Drop your buffs!". That always makes me blush.
Boot pick! Tribal swaps make it tough to predict a boot. I'm going to guess that LJ or Jeremiah gets axed as players begin to concern themselves with end game threats. Since LJ has a HII, I'm picking Jeremiah for boot.
Enjoy!
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