Previously on...Survivor!J'Tia summed up the first 6 days pretty effectively: "This tribe is pretty much a complete disaster. But it's entertaining."
Tasha let us know that J'Tia would have been booted last episode - if Garrett hadn't been such a complete moron. Tasha also cemented an all-female alliance with the honest lawyer, Kass, and the deranged one, J'Tia.
Tony was having a lovely day, hanging out with his best friends "They are against me and I'm by myself; me, myself, my idol and I. Now there's four of us!" Something tells me that's one more friend than Tony usually has. Obviously, no one else on his tribe can tolerate his presence. See, they can somehow tell in their bones that he's a cop, too.
But, apparently, four is the loneliest number, not one or two, as Three Dog Night would have you believe. So Tony approached Sarah and confessed that he was, indeed, a cop, lo, these 13 years. And so is his wife! "I'm Brian, and so's my wife!". Sarah knew that, too, probably; you can't get anything past Sarah. Sarah was so thrilled to have her "copdar" (like gaydar, only for cops) instincts prove correct ("I knew you were a f*cking cop!" - is there any other kind?) that she failed to realize that she was dealing with an accomplished liar, someone who had been lying to her for days. Cops lying to cops! So wrong! Perhaps Sarah was just missing the camaraderie of her fellow officers so much that it didn't matter it was a lying cop - it was a cop! Right here on the island with her! Cops are great! You can totally trust them! "We got that blue blood going and cop blood runs thick (so do cop brains) and he is loyal to cops and you better believe that I am going to stick by his side. We are going to be partners in crime." Sarah, I bet there are some really good cops where you work...and a few awful ones, the kind who will steal your lunch out of the fridge, not to mention bend all the rules to get whatever it is they want. You may want to be partners in crime with him, but Tony's a few crimes ahead of you already, and plotting more.
After establishing their "blue blood" alliance (and listening to Tony shout "Cops R Us!" a zillion times), Tony tried to rope Sarah in further with a string of lies about Cliff trying to get Lindsey on board with booting Sarah because she was "too smart". Then he made her promise not to share the information he gave her with anyone else, sealing it with a handshake that Sarah misguidedly called "the most sincere handshake you'll ever have in your life." Or not. While Sarah is convinced that swearing on your badge is an unbreakable oath, Tony privately assured us that they "were just words", and words don't mean anything. He didn't trust her, and no one should trust him. Gah. I hate that he has done a few things well (finding the HII clues and the HII) because I don't like him personally, at least in this game. Maybe he's a nice guy outside the game, but...no; I just can't see it. I hope Sarah sees through him sooner rather than later, which may happen as early as next week. Sarah told us she felt like she had won the lottery when Tony fessed up, but I think it's like those lottery winners who end up bankrupt or dead within a year.
And the rains came down. Downpours, gales, violent lightning. Many of these survivors did not expect to have to survive a tropical storm on a tropical island, but not an excited Woo: "The rain is gnarly, it's treacherous, it's freezing, it's pouring; it's terrible but this is what Survivor is all about, baby! Woo!" Gotta love ya some Woo. Maybe worry about his sanity a bit, but gotta love him.
Lindsey is less enthused: "This is the most ridiculous situation I've ever been put myself in, and I just wish I hadn't." I wish she hadn't, too. Does she know she can leave any time she wants to? That would be good. Her personality is abrasive to me.
The storms raged, and the Beauty women whined. Jefra whimpered: "I feel like I'm in a Survivor nightmare...Reality has set in and it's really, really hard." Yes, reality sucks, Jefra. It's what keeps liquor stores in business. And certain establishments in Colorado and Washington, what?! But you signed up for this, miss outdoorsy girl.
LJ was a little put out that the female Beauties were living up to their stereotype, wanting to be taken care of while not helping out. But he was wise enough not to say anything. And even smarter to take advantage of the down time to consider just what Morgan had been up to when they first arrived at their campsite, flouncing out of the water like a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model. He surmised that she just might have been hunting a HII, and that it just might still be there. "Who the hell finds a HII in the middle of a typhoon? This guy!", he noted triumphantly after locating the idol. "I've grown up on hard work pays off. You reap what you sow, and now I hold a piece of this game that's priceless. I'm keeping this a secret."
Over at the Brains, Tasha wants the tribe to practice for the upcoming challenge. Kass? Kass would rather do some interior decorating on the shelter. Oookay. For his part, Spencer thinks that getting hydrated is more important, even though Tasha menacingly told him that, of all of them, he should really want to practice. J'Tia just wants some rice. hahahaha! Tasha eventually gets the tribe to practice throwing water at/on each other, with mixed results; kudos to the editors for providing Strauss' 'The Blue Danube' for background music to the inept efforts of the Brains.
The RC/IC was a lot of fun, especially if you enjoy seeing Morgan all wet. More water challenges, please! The Brains' practice helped not at all, as they quickly fell behind - there were some truly pathetic efforts from J'Tia in particular. However, Spencer and Kass saved the day for Brains, coming from behind to finish second to Brawn. Brains didn't finish last! Hurrah! Spencer was grabbing and lifting teammates. Tasha cheered. J'Tia just cried. I guess they told her there would be no more rice.
"I'll miss you at Tribal Council," Probst poked at the Brains. "We won't miss you," Tasha snotted back. I don't think Probst will really miss Tasha.
At the Brawn campsite, Annoying Tony was once again the only player to think of rifling the Reward contents for a HII clue. And he found it, of course. But at least he refrained from making gross ecstatic noises this time. And he still can't spin a giant pillow like Woo!
Once their new Reward hammock had been erected, Sarah inquired to the tribe in general if it would be okay to use it. Lindsey, sweet thing that she isn't, gave her the go-ahead: "I hope you fall." She tried to sound like she was kidding, but I don't think so. Passive-aggressive tendencies in this one. Of course the hammock immediately collapsed when Sarah got in and she fell on her backside. How Lindsey laughed! Lindsey's mocking laughter was just a bit too hysterical. She really enjoyed that moment. Blech. She's a mean girl. Served her right to lose a toenail to the elements. Karma, biotch.
Over at Beauty, the scrambling began. LJ's alliance of LJ, Jeremiah, Alexis and Jefra planned to oust Brice, as LJ considered him the more dangerous of the pair. Brice and Morgan, however, seemed to believe that Jeremiah was with them. He wasn't, though he did tell us privately he planned to take over the tribe. The only additional information we learned during the machinations was that Jefra and Alexis seemed pretty clueless about, well, everything.
At TC, Brice first stated that he was somehow involved with "the butterfly effect". If Brice gets booted on Survivor in Cagayan, there will be a drought in the US. Then Brice corrected his comment to say that he was "at the butterfly stage" of his life, complete with fluttering and some such. Brice said he is a butterfly that came out of a caterpillar. I think there's another step in there somewhere, Brice. Brice is sort of weird. He also griped about the lazy women in camp: "I feel like everybody should pull their own weight around camp." "Dot, dot, dot...?", asked Probst. "Dot, dot, dot!", replied Brice with a sassy face. During the entire TC, Jefra ("nobody was talking strategy before") and Alexis appeared confused and out of their element, but much to Brice's dismay, Jeremiah stuck with LJ and Brice was summarily booted.
Best TC quote: Morgan, in response to Probst's question about the Beauty tribe: "Yeah, I mean, we've got good-looking faces, so, I mean, what can I say? I like it." Smacks self in head. "Sorry, there's a bug in my hair." Hee.
"Clearly they wanted the cutest, most fashionable member out first," simpered Brice. Yes, that was the reason, Brice. He didn't blame Jeremiah, though: "I'm sure he really doesn't understand what happened. I'm surprised he could even spell my name...I really hope Morgan does well, and, to the rest of the people, I don't even remember their names." Graceful, Brice. At least we don't have to hear you endlessly repeat catchphrases like "talk of the town" any longer.
Next time on...Survivor! Sarah appears to be pushing Brawn to throw an IC in order to "get him out now." Him who? She seems to be talking to Cliff, who is buddies with Woo, so it must mean that Sarah has figured out Tony's duplicity. Also, she sounded p.o.'ed, and that makes me think Tony, too. Cliff and Woo are too nice to tick her off like that, while Tony has been playing her like a dupe the entire season, and for no sensible reason. Last episode irked me, because Sarah, who I like, seems too sharp to be fooled by Tony, at least for very long. I think Sarah is out for Tony's blue blood, but whether his ouster happens this week is still a question. Will Tony see it coming? Will he use his HII? I'd love for Tony to go home with his HII safely ensconced in his #spyshack.
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