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"Gay Idol Journal - Week Nine (Disco!)"
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TODDLJ 421 desperate attention whore postings
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05-12-04, 06:40 PM (EST)
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"Gay Idol Journal - Week Nine (Disco!)"
LAST EDITED ON 05-13-04 AT 01:56 PM (EST)

1. LaToya London
As much as I hate to be redundant, I am forced to give LaToya Diva of the Week for the third consecutive week. It’s simply impossible to argue with perfection. Her first ensemble, a tight pink spandex asymmetrical dress, was too sexy for words, especially in the way it accented her perky midsize breasts. And I loved her silver heels and multi-strand earrings. Her second look was more casual, but every bit as sexy: a super-short denim skirt with a cream satin sweater/jacket. The metallic belt and heels brought the look together, and gave it the necessary retro edge for Disco Night. I have one word for LaToya this week. FLAWLESS.

2. Diana Degarmo
Never let it be said that I don’t give credit where credit is due. Diana wins the Most Improved prize for the week. Obviously, Diana’s former stylist has been summarily fired, or killed, or both, as I suggested last week. This week, the new stylist definitely knows what he or she (or he-she, in case the stylish is of an indefinite sex like Steven Cojucaru) is doing! Both ensembles were truly flattering to her body type, and both were a combination of cutting-edge stylish and Disco themed. The first ensemble, a pink chiffon floral number, successfully brought the eye away from her belly, and upward… to her lovely shoulders and never-before-seen cleavage. The second outfit, a black sequined asymmetrical top and flowing black cotton pants, was slimming, and loose fitting enough not to hug any of her problem areas. To top off both ensembles, she sported a supercute feathered hairstyle which is as hot today as it was in the 70’s. What a turnaround, Diana, from previous weeks! Brava!
(And for those of you who insist on pointing out Diana’s resemblance to Miss Piggy, may I simply point out that Miss Piggy is a DIVA… and you all know it!)

3. Fantasia Burrino
I’m afraid I just wasn’t feeling Fantasia this week. Her first ensemble, a hot pink and black horizontal striped asymmetrical shouldered tube top combined with a pair of nondescript light denim jeans, was a bit too casual for my taste (though I did like the pink hoops-and-discs earrings.) The second outfit was even less successful, I’m afraid. The black camisole top (with lace inset) was simple and flattering enough, I suppose, but the black multi-zippered quilted cotton pants were just post-apocalyptic-odd, especially when combined with black boots, black leather wristcuffs, and a kick-##### attitude. I couldn’t help but feeling she was channeling Tina Turner in Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome.

4. Jasmine Trias
Poor little Jasmine has fallen from her perch and landed at the bottom of the Diva heap this week. I admittedly LOVED her first dress, a black PVC-ish looking tank dress (with purple floral sequined appliqué) that hugged her every curve flatteringly. Her black crimped hair was very retro-cool, too. But for her second ensemble, she slipped into the too-casual zone she has inhabited for the last few weeks, in a pink halter-top and jeans with sequined accents. The metallic belt and heels, and the pink cuff bracelet just made the whole thing look like something teen-pop-singer Tiffany might have worn in 1987 during her infamous Mall Tour. Additionally, I have to offer Jasmine a Drama Queen Deduction for her too-calculated-to-be-true tears. As Ryan reminded audiences that Jasmine was at risk, what better time than to turn on the water works for some sympathy votes? In my book, though, a Diva never lets anyone see her sweat… or cry.

There are certainly some who will scoff at my use of shallow, surface attributes to judge our Idol Finalists. I say, to those who scoff, they can all kiss my tanned, hairless, Stairmaster-toned a$$.

Larry Johnson is a comedy writer, currently working for Disney TV. Look for his weekly commentary from a gay point of view. Please check out his website, http://www.gaycomedyjournals.com/

Cumulative Rankings:
1. LaToya London 1.5 (2, 1, 2, 2, 2, 3, 1, 1, 1)
2. Jasmine Trias 3.5 (1, 4, 3, 6, 5, 2, 2, 4, 4)
3. Fantasia Burrino 4.2 (5, 5, 7, 5, 1, 4, 6, 2, 3)
4. Diana Degarmo 5.8 (9, 8, 6, 7, 4, 7, 4, 5, 2)

R.I.P.:
5. George Huff 4.5 (3, 3, 5, 4, 7, 6, 5, 3)
6. John Stephens 6.9 (7, 9, 10, 9, 6, 5, 3)
7. Jennifer Hudson 2.5 (4, 2, 4, 1, 3, 1)
8. Jon Peter Lewis 4.5 (6, 6, 1, 3, 8)
9. Camille Velasco 8.9 (11, 11, 9, 8)
10. Amy Adams 8.3 (10, 7, 8)
11. Matt Rogers 11 (12,10)
12. Leah LaBelle 8 (8)

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  Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 RE: Gay Idol Journal - Week Nine (D... rjrabbit 05-12-04 1
 RE: Gay Idol Journal - Week Nine (D... Mysterious Jedi 05-12-04 2
 RE: Gay Idol Journal - Week Nine (D... emydi 05-12-04 3
 RE: Gay Idol Journal - Week Nine (D... idlegossip 05-13-04 4
   no more midriff, Fantasia,PLEASE niteowl 05-13-04 11
 RE: Gay Idol Journal - Week Nine (D... strid333 05-13-04 5
 RE: Gay Idol Journal - Week Nine (D... popcorn_with_sam 05-13-04 6
 RE: Gay Idol Journal - Week Nine (D... Bebo 05-13-04 7
 RE: Gay Idol Journal - Week Nine (D... dangerkitty 05-13-04 8
 RE: Gay Idol Journal - Week Nine (D... greenmonstah 05-13-04 9
 RE: Gay Idol Journal - Week Nine (D... theincrediblehugey 05-13-04 10
 RE: Gay Idol Journal - Week Nine (D... stormysatan 05-16-04 12
 RE: Gay Idol Journal - Week Nine (D... shedevil 05-16-04 13
 RE: Gay Idol Journal - Week Nine (D... qwertypie 05-16-04 14

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rjrabbit 3269 desperate attention whore postings
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05-12-04, 07:01 PM (EST)
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1. "RE: Gay Idol Journal - Week Nine (Disco!)"
Oh how I look forward to your posts! LaToya is just class personified. Did you notice how she crossed her legs at the beginning of the show when they were all seated on the couch! The girl knows how to sit like a lady and cross her legs in a way that flatters them.

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Mysterious Jedi 1043 desperate attention whore postings
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05-12-04, 07:08 PM (EST)
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2. "RE: Gay Idol Journal - Week Nine (Disco!)"
Homerun
Gold Medal
The Green Jacket

You nailed it this week, Larry. It's official, you? are MY American Idol.


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emydi 13669 desperate attention whore postings
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05-12-04, 07:32 PM (EST)
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3. "RE: Gay Idol Journal - Week Nine (Disco!)"
Thanx Larry Great!!!

Im glad you mentioned Jasmine's first dress I thought it was the best outfit of the 8

And Diana's stylist must have read your articles!! You should be put on retainer!!!


emydi

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idlegossip 116 desperate attention whore postings
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05-13-04, 00:12 AM (EST)
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4. "RE: Gay Idol Journal - Week Nine (Disco!)"
So great to see you so soon this week, Larry! I look forward to your journal, too!

I wasn't thrilled with Fantasia's outfits, but they DO help her stand out from the rest, don't they? I was so worried that she was gone tonight, because the show wouldn't be much fun without her.

(We gotta b*tch or we'll explode!)

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05-13-04, 01:00 PM (EST)
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11. "no more midriff, Fantasia,PLEASE"
Fantasia has exactly the kind of midriff we never want to see again. I can't even focus on her singing, I'm so morbidly mesmerized .Please , someone, get her to cover up!
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05-13-04, 00:25 AM (EST)
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5. "RE: Gay Idol Journal - Week Nine (Disco!)"
Thank you, as always, for keeping us on top of the fashion world.


Three is the perfect number.

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popcorn_with_sam 154 desperate attention whore postings
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05-13-04, 12:08 PM (EST)
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6. "RE: Gay Idol Journal - Week Nine (Disco!)"

You are the only reason I am still watching Idol this season.

And my guess is, Diana's stylist just took the night off. The person was obviously back at work for the results show.

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05-13-04, 12:14 PM (EST)
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7. "RE: Gay Idol Journal - Week Nine (Disco!)"
*SMOOCH* to Larry. Wonderful as always.

You have some new fans after Tuesday night. I was watching the show with my family, and when Diana came out for her first number, I commented on her outfit and told them that I couldn't wait for your comments.

Snarky, smart, S7 Anti-Bootee Champ and YOUR American Idol.

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05-13-04, 12:14 PM (EST)
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8. "RE: Gay Idol Journal - Week Nine (Disco!)"
*sigh* Thanks Larry. Truly the most satisfying thing about this show is reading your Journal.

I missed Tuesday's show, so when I first read this, I had to just picture the outfits from your description. Then I got a glimpse of them on the Results show and read it again. Double the fun!

And LOL at the Tina Turner reference - Fantasia made one herself in the magazine shoot "My Tina Turner legs!" So, good call. (And, I do assume that Fantasia was being wise-crackingly self-effacing - nobody but Tina has Tina Turner legs.)

dangerkitty

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05-13-04, 12:17 PM (EST)
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9. "RE: Gay Idol Journal - Week Nine (Disco!)"
Larry...I travled *all* the way over to this side of the boards to see if you had posted...and it was soooo worth the trip!


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05-13-04, 12:38 PM (EST)
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10. "RE: Gay Idol Journal - Week Nine (Disco!)"
Thanks, Larry. I hope you enjoy writing your journals as much as I enjoy reading them!


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05-16-04, 07:33 PM (EST)
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12. "RE: Gay Idol Journal - Week Nine (Disco!)"
Happy to see your article very early on.
However, i don't think Jasmine's tears were calculated.
Can you imagine being humiliated left and right by all the judges not once but twice in a row? Who wouldn't break down?
She tried to control herself by 'giggling' at what the judges said but she could only tolerate enough.

I could feel her agony. I might have reacted worse than she did given the same circumstances.


She definitely is not a Drama Queen. Maybe Fantasia (self-explanatory), maybe Jenifer(obviously self-explanatory), maybe George (his statement why he chose Against All Odds was just nauseating), or maybe JPL (usually a cool guy but his rationale for choosing Dead Poets Society as his favorite movie was just uncool)or maybe Amy (something she said about helping bluh bluh the night before she was voted off).

But not JASMINE. She maybe cheesy but not a drama queen.

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05-16-04, 08:54 PM (EST)
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13. "RE: Gay Idol Journal - Week Nine (Disco!)"
4. Jasmine Trias
Poor little Jasmine has fallen from her perch and landed at the bottom of the Diva heap this week. I admittedly LOVED her first dress, a black PVC-ish looking tank dress (with purple floral sequined appliqué) that hugged her every curve flatteringly. Her black crimped hair was very retro-cool, too. But for her second ensemble, she slipped into the too-casual zone she has inhabited for the last few weeks, in a pink halter-top and jeans with sequined accents. The metallic belt and heels, and the pink cuff bracelet just made the whole thing look like something teen-pop-singer Tiffany might have worn in 1987 during her infamous Mall Tour. Additionally, I have to offer Jasmine a Drama Queen Deduction for her too-calculated-to-be-true tears. As Ryan reminded audiences that Jasmine was at risk, what better time than to turn on the water works for some sympathy votes? In my book, though, a Diva never lets anyone see her sweat… or cry

You are dead right about Jasmine, her tears were so fake and pathetic, she is a Drama Queen all the way. She cried her way into staying on the show. I doubt it was her singing that people were voting for. She should audition for "Superstar USA", I'm sure they will take her.

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05-16-04, 11:37 PM (EST)
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14. "RE: Gay Idol Journal - Week Nine (Disco!)"
Thanks,I needed my Larry fix!
La Vida es un Tango!
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