Generally the women that "get away with it" either have enough record sales to back them up or like Lady Gaga takes a break from the weird to do a showcase the talent moment. I know the most shocking parts of her performances I've seen on TV are when the weird stops and it is just her singing at the piano. Also they've usually pre-cleared all the weirdness with the network and stick to the script of the performance.I think what got Adam in trouble wasn't the kiss or the groping or the shoving someones face in his crotch, per se, but that he didn't do that in the rehearsals and wasn't in the plans.
I've never heard anyone say Madonna or Lady Gaga just didn't act like that in the rehearsals and never gave any warning about what they planned.
Also comparing things done on late night shows or on cable networks with different legal standards of what they can broadcast doesn't really count, IMO. You want to do HBO style or MTV style performances you gotta do them on HBO or MTV.
The networks want some "controversial get people talking" moments but they also want to know what those are up front and get a chance to say yes or no to any particular one. Especially ones subject to FCC fines. Most of what got canceled on him were live performances and if you can't get the person to tell you what they are going to do, or you can't trust them to do what they say you will do, it will be hard to get live gigs on network TV.
I can't tell if he can't keep a rein on himself, only will do that when someone is holding his leash, or just wants attention for attention's sake and doesn't care why he is getting attention.