Hi. I'm Ivette, and I'm so very sorry about last year.

It wasn't me. That's my only real defense. I got into the house, and Maggie got her claws into me -- they're hollow and they inject psychotropic chemicals that she manufactures in her bloodstream -- and suddenly, Maggie was good and everyone else was evil. It was us against them and I was part of 'us', as long as I got my daily injection every morning. Maggie told me it didn't hurt. She lied...

But once I was out of the house and got back to my beloved Tushie, I was shown a few things. Clips that she'd captured off the live feeds. I got to see how I'd been acting, what the other members of my supposed alliance really thought of me, and the total lack of regard Maggie has for non-human life, because guess what? Maggie thinks she's the only human in the world. It came as a real surprise.

Oh, and also, the drugs had worn off by then. The hangover didn't go away until February. I just stopped shaking last week.

So please vote for me. I'd like to get back in there and show America what I'm like when I'm sane. I realize I don't have much of a shot at the half-million, but at least I might get to redeem myself in front of a public that's afraid to admit I exist anyway, for whatever that's worth. I promise not to fall into any cults this time, and I won't say the name 'Cappy' more than twice a day. (I've been cutting back slowly. Full cures take time.)

And if you do vote for me, please don't vote for Alison. It's hard to stay reformed when you have a screaming witch in your face.

Do you think Tushie and I could get on the Race?