I thought it might help a little if we reviewed what happened last week.

*deep breath*

So a bunch of paired-off people who mostly didn't even remotely care for each other and some of whom might have met on the boat were dropped off in a place we're pretending still isn't the Philippines in order to spend a night which in no way counted on the game calendar but we could live with that because it could have been worse and there was always the chance they'd be dropped off in the Phillip. Those people were then gathered together where they were divided into tribes of boomerangs and newbies who'd never listened to anything the boomerangs had to say which at least proved that half of them were in fact family member and the rest were dating and had already reached the point of getting sex. Two of those people were then voted out with no chance to defend themselves through playing for Immunity or making alliances or spending most of their free time making 'I was on a show once' into their primary career. This meant Candice was voted out for having a real job and Laura for having a real husband. Only not really in the voted out department, because Redemption Island is back and we can only guess that it was taking up so much room in the place we last crammed it that Jeff finally felt the need to have it surgically extracted from his rear again. And still not really because their loved ones could sub for them at the cost of potentially leaving and putting the not-rescued in additional danger on the wrong tribe which really didn't matter for Rupert because he doesn't think that far ahead or at all so swap him out and upset Tina who was really looking forward to that indoor swimming pool. Sometime after that we got a competition where Gervase proved that twenty-five seasons on the bench has not let him develop the swimming skills of just-for-example your average bovine. But he can still celebrate at an obnoxiousness level of one Hayden and that meant his relative on the other tribe got voted out for something she never took part in due to the actions of a person whom she doesn't have contact with or an alliance or apparently even like very much. Only not really because she went to Redemption Island through following the smell of Jeff's rear and that was kind of hard because we've reached the point where this entire region of the They'll Never Admit It smells just like it. So we've had three votes and no one's left. There was ninety minutes and nothing happened. And no one cared. Except the people playing because they want a million dollars. Except the next twist is that they don't get it. Winner gets a ride home. Losers are tied into the winner's raft.

...actually, I take it back. There is no way recapping this will ever help anyone ever again...