Welcome to the Surivor Merge Beauty Pageant!

A reality show (within a show (disguised as a SOTS)) that follows the lives of America's most impressive 'beauties' as they work their way from criteria to criteria, being judged at every possible whim, all in the hopes of NOT winning the title of Merge Beauty!

Due to the expanded coverage of his bases, 'The Colton Retractions' program has gone over and we join the 'Survivor Merge Beauty Pageant' already in progress.

A brief Intro duction...
Sabrina (Ms. Cellaneous)
33, Brooklyn, NY
With a game start rivalling a returning player, Sabrina looked poised for the top spot.
However, she has slunk behind forest greenery lately. Can she re-emerge?

Chelsea (Miss Erable)
26, Charleston, SC
With a rocky start but a winning smile, Chelsea is the resident also-ran.
Will she be able to come out of the shadows and win the pageant?

Kat (Miss Behavior)
22, Orlando, FL
With pep, verve, enthusiasm, elan and vivacity, Kat attacks every aspect of this game.
As with a Bull in the China shop, she carries a warning label. Probable destruction follows.

Alicia (Ms. Erie)
25, Chicago, IL
Know for her brassy brash style and slutty outfits, Alicia is the resident bad girl.
Now that Colton has left, could she win the title?

Christina (Mrs. Thebus)
29, West Hollywood, CA
With no where to go but up, Christina is the campsite omega mutt.
However, those with nothing to lose are often unbeatable. Can she overcome?

Kim (Ms. Believing)
29, San Antonio, TX
With unbelievable editing, the most fixed head on her shoulders and an admirable social network, Kim is the above all favorite.
Really, she lacks nothing. However, only half-way into the game, does someone else usurp her reign?

Michael (Mr. Nuptruck)
30, Seattle, WA
With a majority of his alliance already having been decimated, Michael is the ultimate return soldier.
Too bad he has the personality of vegetation and the game finess of a similarly shaped object.

Jay (Mr. Bigstuff)
25, Gaffney, SC
With athleticism, charm and goodlooks in his arsenal, Jay is the all-around go-to-guy.
The only thing standing in his way is all of his alliancemates. Can he stand out?

Jonas (Mr. Nagain)
37, Lehi, UT
With game saavy and survivalism abilities, Jonas should be seen as a threat.
Too bad he's already been pegged as arrogant and untrustable. Will he be able to salvage his game?

Leif (Mr. Littlestuff)
27, San Diego, CA
With very little in the way of detractions nor attractions, Leif is strangely, right there in the middle.
And while the middle isn't gonna win any titles, it does allow for an underdog story later.

"Tarzan" (Dr. Bearaphd)
64, Houston, TX
With the knowledge of an encyclopedia, the demeanor of a real castaway and the social grace of a smelly fart, Tarzan is a conundrum.
Can he stay in balance? Can he overcome his ineptitude? Can he get to the finals? Can he remember his own name?

"Troyzan" (Mr. HeMan)
50, Miami, FL
With physical prowess, affable personality and appropriate moral adjustments, Troyzan is the darkhorse in a race for pageant title.
He stands as 1 of very few male standouts this season, and for a guy in his 50's that's saying A LOT.

Those are the beauties, now let's see what they've been up to...

At the last TC, the beauty queen favorite was med-evac'd due to overdramatization.
The tribe was speculatively sneaked a bountiful basket of refreshments upon arrival at camp.
And they drank...
Then we surprised them with a lowlight photoshoot for Evening Wear!

Troyzan shows his professionalism and Kim reveals her diplomacy, but the Top scorers were...

Alicia shows her utter transparency!	Tarzan shows his wild side!	Chelsea shows her evil interior!

However, during the shoot, things got a little liquid and the stages were being set for future drama.
By whom you could probably guess...

But if Tarzan keeps delivering shots like these...

he just adds to his Merge Beauty probability.

Anyways, the campsite's current drama queen, Tarzan, starts in early on the other camp mates.
...at the Merge Beauty Campsite...

Wearing his normal hawaiian print shorts and wild hair, Tarzan begins his day of drama by banging wood...

annoying Sabrina...

soaking his manties...

and offending Chelsea...

Can his tribemates take any more of it?

Just in time, the beauty contestants get TyreeMail!

Complete with promises of leaving camp for an afternoon and confirming teams will have to get a little dirty first.

Team Orange...

Team Blue...

From the mat, run and dig your way under a wood wall,

then crawl (roll) along under a wood frame.

Dig until you've found a sack of puzzle pieces, then run back to your mat, tagging the next teammate at arrival.

5 runners per team means 5 bags and 1 puzzler. (Much like Bill and Sabrina's solo attempts from a coupla episodes ago.)

First team back with 5 bags can begin puzzle phase.
1 puzzler to finish turtle puzzle will win reward for their teammates.

While it isn't clear who wins, I can certainly deduce who will go back to camp as losers...

Because Tarzan's got some more annoying to do.
But this time he's wearing his lucky manties and he's got his hair slicked back.

Fighting with Jonas...

Making a fool of himself in front of Kim and Michael...

and Picking on Leif.
Notice the sand STILL on Leif's shoulder? Post RC, for sure.

Lucky for all of them, Tarzan decides to continue throwing a tantrum, but in private...

Just then we surprised the beauty contestants with a personality and pulchritude photo shoot.

Using their best footage of the day so far, turned out not so good for some of our favorites...

I said SEXY, this looks Sleepy!	I said Dreamy, you look Vapid.	I said Dangerous, not MURDEROUS!

Well it looks like our top contenders in personality and pulchritude are...

Kim ~ Troyzan ~ Chelsea ~ Tarzan ~ Christina (on reward?) ~ Leif

Back at Camp...
The mood is quickly lightened as the Reward winners return to camp.
(With information that a new hidden idol is in play?)
To divulge that there is one more chance for immunity, seems to be a strategy best served after the idol is found.
But it's clear that Jay and Chelsea are on the hunt and probably closer than anyone else is gonna get.

Perhaps they find it right away.
Perhaps it's an episode away.
Perhaps Sabrina finds it. Either way... they all soon receive Tyree Mail again.
This time it says something about balls and balancing them.

Again, a result that is unknown but considering that some obvious merge targets will remain after this TC, someone has to win it.
It could be one of these 6...

and right behind them...

(But I'm leaning towards the winner being either, Kat, Troyzan or Sabrina.)

Because, IMO, the camp 6 are just part of the majority when it finally comes time to go to TC.

So that means... Michael, Tarzan, Jay, Christina, Kim and Chelsea (with Troyzan, Sabrina and Kat) are out and all that remain are...Jonas, Leif and Alicia.

Which of these 3 will win the title of Merge Beauty?

Now, this is where we would normally have inserted the Special Talent portion of the Pageant. To decide once and for all who was the Merge Beauty... but this has ALREADY taken too long and is threatening to go over into the NEXT show.
So instead a quick recap...

Evening Wear: Tarzan/Alicia/Chelsea
Reward Winners: Alicia/Chelsea/Christina/Jay/Sabrina/Troyzan
HI Finders: Chelsea/Jay
Personality and Pulchritude: Kim/Troyzan/Chelsea/Tarzan/Christina/Leif
Immunity: Anyone but Jonas, Leif or Alicia.

While cases can be made for all 3 of them, one thing is clear.
Tarzan wants to be heard and he does NOT trust Leif.
He also is making an inroad with the majority (even if temporary).
NuSalani and OldSalani will stick together, taking Tarzan under their wing. This includes Alicia and a majority of the men as well.

Merge Beauty Bootee: Leif