Episode 6
Eger Beavers in Hungary
Previously on the Amazing Race...Teams raced from Senegal, Africa to Berlin, Germany. Some were moved to tears over the plight of slaves while others tried to bring their slaves wives to tears. Seven teams remain, who will be eliminated next.Cue lots of pictures of chics in bikinis. Yeah, probably what I would have one on too if the camera crew was coming to my house for a photo shoot.
Commercial for "Meet the Fockers". My kids love this shyt…it's not really swearing if it is misspelt now is it Mom.
Phil begins his yakking about the remaining teams. They will be departing from the Brandenburg Gate in Berlin.
1. Freddy and Kendra at 2:55 am
2. Johnathon and Victoria at 2:56 am
3. Hayden and Aaron at 3:11 am
4. Kris and Jon at 3:12 am
5. Gus and Hera at 3:13 am
6. Adam and Rebecca at 3:33 am
7. Lori and Bolo at 4:30 am Yes...almost an hour later suckers!
Teams must head to Checkpoint Charlie, the infamous crossing between East and West Berlin during the cold war.
Speaking of cold war, a confessional from Victoria. Blah, blah, blah, I don't like to be screamed at <cough.enabler.cough> but that is just Johnathon, blah, blah, blah.
Freddy and Kendra are the first to arrive at Checkpoint Charlie and receive their next clue. Head over to Olympic Stadium where there is a sign-up sheet for their next task. Everyone follows, pretty much in order. We are even treated to a sight of Gus getting in a taxi to head to the Olympic Stadium. The way his t-shirt was hanging over his pants, I had to do a double take...I could have sworn he was wearing his tighty-whitey's over his pants! <shudder>
Following the pattern of the day, Freddy and Kendra are the first to arrive at the Olympic Stadium and sign-up for some 'unknown task' that will begin at 6:00 am. Bunching. Kendra thinks that they should go and do some research and when Freddy says no, she gets all huffy and says she is not going to take this and that. Victoria, are you listening?
Aaron and Hayden (team AaHa, who have no clue) beat J&V to the stadium by a whisker and it is a footrace to the sign-up sheet, which thankfully, AaHa wins. The true team player, Johnathon only writes his name on the sheet. Vic has a fit. Maybe if she's put her foot down 10 years ago, this yahoo wouldn't be walking all over her right now. Aaron laughs at them, "They're such spazzes". Now, I love Aaron, but I saw him skiing in Norway and I am not sure he should be calling anyone a spazz.
J&V go sit in the cab and fight some more. Kris and Jon arrive and Hayden tells them the sordid tale. Kris says "They should probably have some counseling".
At 6:00 am, Kendra, who is now chipper (did Princess have a pedicure or facial or something) gets the first clue.
Cue Mr. Exposition Hands…Roadblock. Phil explains the "lazy.assed.Kim" rule that no more than 6 roadblocks may be completed by one person.
The task: Hot Rocket Bungee. J&V must have jumped for joy when they heard the title. Wasn't one of their earlier adult films entitled "Hot Rocket Bungee". Turns out that a hot rocket bungee is when you get strapped into this contraption attached to a crane and they slingshot you 200 ft into the air. I'm sure that chiropractors everywhere were hoping this ride comes to a fair near you ($$$$).
It's gonna be an all-girl challenge in honour of the lasy.assed.Kim rule. Kendra is first. Please don't tie it, please don't tie it. Darn they tied it, but thankfully she is down for the count…except that she still won't shut up "I'm dizzy baby".
Next clue; fly to Budapest, Hungary. There, pick up a notoriously unreliable car that is 'sure to break down'. Oh goody. Visions of J&V and maybe Kendra stuck at the side of the road deliciously enter my mind. Teams must drive 62 miles to the town of Eger where they will find their next clue.
Back to the bungee where we see all the rest of the chics flying through the air. Do you think it would have been physically possible to catapult Gus into the air?
Off to the airport where a bunch of ticket hounding follows. Gus and Hera remembered seeing a travel agent when the arrived at Berlin airport, so head straight there. J&V are at a different ticket counter...who will get the last seats on Maleev Air? In the end it is:
Flight 1: Maleev Air, departing 9:45 - arriving 11:05
Freddy and Kendra, Gus and Hera, AaHa
Flight 2: Air Berlin, arriving at 12:10
Kris and Jon, Mary Adam and Rebecca, and J&V
Flight 3: Lufthansa arriving at 12:20
Only Lori and Bolo are on this one.
Johnathon has a fit when he sees Gus and Hera get on the Maleev flight and he is still on standby. Oh poor baby! He tries to bully the ticket lady but she does not fall victim to him charm.
First plane arrives in Budapest. Cue clown music as we see the cars they must drive to Eger. Foreshadow as Gus says "there's going be a lot of breakdowns on this one". We watch as he can hardly fit in the car.
Hayden confesses her deepest, darkest secret that 'maps scare her'. Obviously an ideal fit for the Amazing Race. Do you remember Meredith and Maria? AaHa can't even get their car started and have to get a new one even before they begin. They still get out of the parking lot before the second plane arrives.
The second flight arrives and everyone tries to take off in their clown cars. Johnathon boasts about his driving skills... I'm assuming he doesn't mean with his fists. Mary Adam and his butch have trouble and Lori and Bolo catch up to them from the third flight.
Freddy and Kendra are the first to arrive at Eger, followed closely by Gus and Hera. Detour: Catapult Crash or Cannonball Run. Catapult watermelons toward a target or lug a cannon and cannonballs uphill. Freddy and Kendra do the cannonballs. Gus and Hera do the catapult, but suck so switch.
Johnathon, displaying those expert driving skills he was boasting about, gets pulled over by the cops. Amazingly, he charms them into leading him directly to the castle at Eger. WTF ?!?!
Freddy and Kendra finish the detour before a third team even arrives and receive their next clue. Phil did say 62 miles didn't he? Why is it taking everyone so darn long? The next clue is to take the train back to Budapest and head over to the Net Klub. We see a little product placement, which I have already forgotten. Bring back the Kodak easy-share cameras.
Mary Adam and his butch are driving their clown car in first gear. Quelle surprise! It breaks down. Some nice guy who obviously couldn't see what these two really looked like, stopped to help them and fixed their car. Butch takes over the wheel.
J&V are the third team to arrive at the castle in Eger. Where did AaHa go, they had over an hour lead? Johnathon must have used up all his charm on the cops because he immediately goes after Gus for 'stealing' his seats on the plane in Berlin. Gus calls him a 'little bastard'. Enough of Johnathon already!
Kris and Jon's car breaks down. Get a new one.
Gus and Hera finish their task and high tail it over to the train station and hope (as we all do) that Johnathon gets eliminated. Then we get to see shots of Johnathon pretending to be a superhero. Seriously, who is supplying this guy with his crack while he is on the race? A cameraman? Phil? Bad luck, J&V make it to the train station in time for the second train and once again berate Gus and Hera. I really hope that the casting director loses his job over this one.
AaHa finally get to Eger! Hurrah! Let's see, 6 hours to drive 62 miles…..hmmm. Kris and Jon arrive as well and they all end up on the third train to Budapest.
Lori and Bolo break down at the side of the road and do not have Mary Adam and Butch's obvious charms because nobody comes to their aid and they have to wait for a new car.
Freddy and Kendra have already arrived in Budapest and realize that the Net Klub is closed until 10:00 pm. Can we say 'bunching' boys and girls?
J&V arrive in Budapest and hop into a taxi heading for the Net Klub. Johnathon's sparkling personality works wonders on the taxi driver who pulls over at the side of the road and kicks his a$$ to the curb. Are you watching Victoria? They hail another cab who's driver looks as excited as the first.
Lori and Bolo finally get to the detour in Eger. It is dark. They landed in Budapest at 12:20 pm. They power through the detour and head over to the train station only to find that there are no more trains to Budapest that night. The clock reads 9:15 pm.
It is now 10:00 in Budapest and everyone who is not a pro-wrestler goes into the Net Club. Shot to Lori and Bolo sleeping on a bench at the train station in Eger while a storm is raging.
Then, the words we have never, ever seen before in the history of TAR...
...TO BE CONTINUED...
WTH?
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