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PLEASE NOTE: The Reality TV World Message Boards are filled with desperate
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"The Amazing(ly depressing) Big Brother Race"
Estee 57126 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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08-19-05, 09:51 AM (EST)
 
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"The Amazing(ly depressing) Big Brother Race" |
Well, we do have seven teams of two, which made it sound like another show entirely from Day One... If this year's hamster crop were to go touring with Phil, what order do you think they'd finish in?Assuming they'd intially give them three warm-up legs with no one going out just to let things fall into their natural order, I'd go with: Last: April & Jennifer. Can't relate to the people around them as people, no way April would stoop to dealing with foreigners, Jen stands a good chance of breaking a TAR rule and then protesting the penalty because it just shouldn't apply to good and pure and true Racers like them. And can you imagine them opening a Roadblock and trying to pick which one would actually have to do something? Double forfeit. Sixth: Ivette & Beau. Or just Ivette, who's probably been hauling Beau's backpack around the planet for four legs. At this point, she's got four Roadblocks under her belt and Beau has a charming collection of souvenier postcards. At a minor advantage in Latin countries, at a major disadvantage any time Ivette (who would become know as Colin Lite) got a chance to lose her temper, in serious trouble any time they have to negotiate with cab drivers. One-person teams fall apart quickly, so this is about as far as they'd go. Fifth: James & Sarah. The classic TAR relationship dissolve. 'Can these two people stand up to the stress of a race around the world?' No. James is the one most likely to try and make alliances with the others in those rare moments when he's not pulling a Rob and undercutting them. Sarah, however, is the one most likely to turn into an unholy combination of Flo and Kim: do very little and complain about it a lot. What I said about one-person teams stands -- only this one ends with a breakup at the Pit Stop. Fourth: Janelle & Ashlea. The curse of the all-female team strikes again. This would probably be one of the mystery teams, as in 'How are they staying in this thing?' I see them as Tian and Jaree reborn: getting around the world on sex appeal combined with the occasional manifestation of wits. They'll push, and they'll do better than anyone expects them to do, and they'll be the team most likely to land native guides -- but in the end, they'll face something they can't handle, like the classic clock face math question, and kiss Phil goodbye at the mat. Third: Eric & Maggie: Say what you will about Eric: I think he'd be an effective Racer. This is the sort of situation his personality would actually work in. He's no good when he has to handle a large group -- on Survivor, I'd expect him to be kept on during tribe competition, then get booted out just short of the jury -- but his drive could propel a team forward for a large number of legs. His main problem would probably be figuring out something for Maggie to do -- but she'd still be better at challenges than Beau or Sarah: just more whiny about the other teams. 'They finished before us! They must have cheated!' Watch for them to be the nightmares of the airport counter, lurking in the shadows to steal information on everyone else's flights. Second: Kaysar & Michael. The charm school team. Second most likely to land native guides, and the most likely to work out some kind of Master Plan, which might even include radical ideas like 'read the map first'. Which doesn't mean those Master Plans would work, but at least there would be some effort there... Finally gives the Race a reason to move into the Middle East for a leg or four (although there's still the whole 'no areas hostile to the US' problem -- hey, maybe that's how we lose April and Jennifer!), finds another team willing to work the flight schedules and risk thirty-minute connections in the name of picking up ten minutes at the landing zone, plus we get to see Michael shoot himself in the foot with women in twelve different nations. Good times. First: Howie & Rachel. Because eventually, the goofball near-brother/near-sister team is going to win the Race. Howie would joke his way around the planet, getting along with everyone by offending all nations equally, and he's physically capable enough to turn the more demanding Roadblocks and Detours into a breeze -- although someone would have to be really careful when they read the directions to him. That someone being Rachel, who can easily hold up her end on the physical side while providing the brains that make the travel arrangements and more complicated tasks into resolvable problems. It's the classic case of two partials making one whole: putting Howie and Rachel together might produce one incredibly effective Racer -- one who just might win the whole thing. Opinions? Other orders of finish? Reasons for elimination? Challenges and Pit Stop locations? TAR record for number of Yields used?
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kingfish 20752 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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08-19-05, 11:44 AM (EST)
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1. "RE: The Amazing(ly depressing) Big Brother Race" |
I think I could see a cooperative alliance between teams Ash/Jan and Kayser/Mich serving to get them to the final two (teams). It also which might serve to get them disqualified for a PG show, or at least warned, depending on what the ratings were. And might cause them to repeatedly miss the start time after hotel pit stops. Course, if they did get to the end, the women would trick the guys, make promises they never intended to keep, and shamefully sneak across the finish line first to win. (Or is my attitude clouding my judgement again?)
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LibraRising 2847 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Howard Stern Show Guest"
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08-19-05, 12:31 PM (EST)
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2. "RE: The Amazing(ly depressing) Big Brother Race" |
Estee, you're giving them way too much credit. I see it going something like this.All seven teams gather in some major city. Let's just say Houston, because I know it well. They start at Minute Maid Park (dorkiest stadium name ever) and are supposed to go to Bush Intercontinental Airport (dorkiest airport name ever) and fly to the capital of Bolivia. They all make a mad dash out of the stadium. April immediately realizes that she forgot her cigarettes and a photo of Pepperoni and asks Jennifer if they can run back to the hotel and pick them up. Jennifer tells her to forget about the damn dog, and April curls up into the fetal position, shrieking about how Jennifer attacked her family. The paramedics eventually take her away. Eric/Maggie and Beau/Ivette agree to work together, but Eric/Maggie's cab accidentally gets a few car lengths ahead of Beau/Ivette. They lose sight of them, and Ivette doesn't know what to do. Misreading the clue, she orders her cab driver to drive her straight to La Paz. They get held up and stripped of all their cash in a border town. James/Sarah, Janelle/Ashlea and Michael/Kaysar eventually make it to the airport. James lets Sarah get the tickets, but she misspells La Paz to the ticket agent and they end up on a flight to Prague. Janelle gets toasted in the airport bar and arrested after shoving a flight attendant. Ashlea decides she wants to quit. Eric/Maggie arrive last, but Eric is detained when he tries to push through security and tell the baggage handlers how to do their job. Michael/Kaysar arrive in La Paz and get to the first roadblock. Kaysar proceeds to map out a 50-page proof on how to get the roadblock done most efficiently. Michael gets bored and wanders off. Kaysar finishes his proof and brags about how smart he must be for figuring it out but realizes he's missed the window of the hours of operation for this roadblock. He tries again the next day, but Secret Service member arrive and tell him he's being taken to Guantanamo for questioning. They don't like what he said about the Iraq war on the Big Brother show. Once they arrive in Prague, James/Sarah realize their error. James is furious at Sarah's stupidity and tells her the only way they'll learn is if Sarah gets the tickets herself. She tries again. They end up in Peoria. Then Los Angeles. Sofia, Bulgaria. Belfast. Taipei. Finally, James ditches Sarah and goes to La Paz by himself. He completes the tasks and arrives at the pitstop to find two cobweb-covered skeletons where Phil and the local greeter once stood.  
A kyngsladye/IceCat masterpiece.
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Estee 57126 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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08-19-05, 12:48 PM (EST)
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5. "RE: The Amazing(ly depressing) Big Brother Race" |
And here I was told she was issued a special dart gun for just such an occasion.
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