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"Gay Idol Journal - Week Four (Elton John)"
TODDLJ 421 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star"
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04-10-04, 04:45 PM (EST)
 
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"Gay Idol Journal - Week Four (Elton John)" |
1. Jennifer Hudson
Okay, I admit to some pro-Jennifer bias, but did girl get the Full Diva Treatment this week, or what! As soon as I heard the first notes of her performance, the Diva of the Week crown was already on her sleekly coifed head. And of course, her soaring final note, with her arm rising to the sky screamed FIERCE! (I think her hand had its own camera.) Girlfriend worked it out! The outfit didn’t hurt her either… one can never go wrong with a classic black tailored suit. And her sky-blue silk blouse added just the right pop of color to draw attention upward to her expressive (and uncharacteristically subtle) face. I could have done without the huge hoop earrings, but her stylist seems to love them (much to my chagrin.) 2. LaToya London
So close to Diva of the Week, and definitely a solid first-runner-up, should Jennifer be unable to fulfill her duties. In a gauzy pink and yellow gradated strapless dress, Latoya was absolutely radiant. Her sexy short hair is back, thank god, allowing the eye to catch her ultra-fashionable bronze chandelier earrings. Bronze heels, eye shadow, bracelet and lipstick brought all the accessories together flawlessly. More Diva points for her slick Microphone technique, like a true professional, she knows just when to pull back on the power notes, giving her a smooth tone throughout. 3. Jon Peter Lewis
I want to find this boy’s stylist, sleep with him, and get him to go shopping with me. Talk about making a sows ear into a silk purse… former ‘pen salesman’ nerd JPL looks better every week. He looks… dare I say it… better than ME! His iridescent emerald jacket was flashy and risky… and a complete success. His collarless blue shirt, and blasted jeans rounded out the ensemble well. (And am I the only one who noticed how his jeans highlighted Jon’s… Peter? Perhaps big things do come in small packages?) The only thing keeping him off the top of the Diva list this week was his unfortunate stumble as he got off the chair. It is every performer’s nightmare to take the stage in front of millions, only to trip over one's own feet. (How embarrassing!)
4. George Huff
I loves me some George, despite what a complete nerd he obviously is. He is so over-the-top excited to be performing, and so blissfully unaware of his talent, how can you not root for him? This week, in a black denim shirt-jacket, super dark indigo jeans, and an olive T, he was understated and casually elegant. I’m sure he’s not picking this stuff out himself, but I’m happy they got him a good shopper. Otherwise he’d probably be looking more like Urkel than Usher. 5. Fantasia Burrino
Fantasia looked a little bit stuffed into her black shirred strappy backless dress, especially in the booty area, but I’m the first to admit I like big butts, so I won’t complain. And her strappy silver heels were the right retro touch in keeping with the 70’s feel of the dress’ waistline. But the earrings… no, no, no! The thin strands unfortunately looked less like silver and more like a certain bodily fluid dangling from her ears, reminding me of a scene from ‘There’s Something About Mary.’ (I know she wants Simon to like her, but girl, stay out from under that desk!) 6. Jasmine Trias
This critic’s darling took a big fall this week. I simply couldn’t find a way to reconcile the top half of her outfit (a pink tank with a pink bugle-beaded shirt that looked not unlike chain mail) with the bottom half (olive ¾ cargo pants.) And her shiny pink strappy heels were obviously meant to tie it all together, but failed. Also, I wish she’d lose the white/yellow Plumeria behind her ear, that gimmick is totally stale. 7. Diana Degarmo
Diana earns a huge Fashion Citation this week for perhaps her worst look so far this season (and that is saying a lot.) Let’s start with the top. I fear the Liberace museum is missing a tablecloth. The fabric, silky and blue, and patterned with huge purple, red and yellow cartoony butterflies, was simply ridiculous. And the cut, draped haphazardly over one shoulder (with one huge sleeve and one missing one) and tied on the other side at the hip, was unflattering and downright silly. Her lavender hoop earrings, purple exposed brastrap, and matching purple strappy heels, helped complete this fashion faux pas. And the hair! Let’s not even go into it. Suffice it to say, it was a ratted bunned flattened asymmetrical banged mess! (The only thing decent about her whole look was the black fitted bell-bottomed slacks… which I doubt anyone noticed with way too much else going on.) 8. Camile Velasco
All I can say this week about Camile’s look is… ouch. For her farewell performance, she sported an outfit that was a disaster from head to toe: A yellow tank, with a lime green and white striped tube top, charcoal multi-zippered ¾ jeans, white flats and a matching grommeted belt, and the ubiquitous rainbow wristband. I think this girl actually sings better than she dresses. (In case you’re confused, that’s a backhanded insult, which is sort of like a backhanded compliment, except without the compliment part.) I’d love to say I’ll miss her, but let’s be real. 9. John Stephens
A red jacket, blasted jeans, and a black T-shirt ($300.00.) Darker red hair-dye, a choppy cut, and a flat-ironing ($200.00.) A coat of pale base (to cover freckles) some mascara, and teeth bleaching ($700.00.) Watching next week as the public finally wises up and (despite his makeover) eliminates this talent-free third-rate-crooner and unexplained waste of prime television airspace: Priceless. There are certainly some who will scoff at my use of shallow, surface attributes to judge our Idol Finalists. I say, to those who scoff, they can all kiss my tanned, hairless, Stairmaster-toned a$$. Larry Johnson is a comedy writer, currently working for Disney TV. Look for his weekly commentary from a gay point of view. Please check out his website, http://www.gaycomedyjournals.com/
Cumulative Rankings:
1. LaToya London 1.8 (2, 1, 2, 2)
2. Jennifer Hudson 2.8 (4, 2, 4, 1)
3. Jasmine Trias 3.5 (1, 4, 3, 6)
4. George Huff 3.8 (3, 3, 5, 4)
5. Jon Peter Lewis 4.0 (6, 6, 1, 3)
6. Fantasia Burrino 5.5 (5, 5, 7, 5)
7. Diana Degarmo 7.5 (9, 8, 6, 7)
8. John Stephens 8.8 (7, 9, 10, 9)R.I.P.:
9. Camile Velasco 8.9 (11, 11, 9, 8)
10. Amy Adams 8.3 (10, 7, 8)
11. Matt Rogers 11 (12,10)
12. Leah LaBelle 8 (8)
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greenmonstah 10761 desperate attention whore postings
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04-10-04, 05:10 PM (EST)
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3. "Larry, sweetie..." |
LAST EDITED ON 04-10-04 AT 05:13 PM (EST)LAST EDITED ON 04-10-04 AT 05:10 PM (EST) You are simply the best.  <--- loves: http://www.gaycomedyjournals.com/
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Wheezy 9153 desperate attention whore postings
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04-10-04, 05:26 PM (EST)
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5. "RE: Gay Idol Journal - Week Four (Elton John)" |
"I fear the Liberace museum is missing a tablecloth."
LMAO! Thanks Todd and Larry.
 Whee-boz
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zombiebaby 7356 desperate attention whore postings
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04-10-04, 08:09 PM (EST)
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10. "RE: Gay Idol Journal - Week Four (Elton John)" |
Thought you were "in the pocket" with your observs.!I was wondering myself what that was that Camille was wearing! Funny stuff, keep it coming!
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rjrabbit 3269 desperate attention whore postings
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04-11-04, 01:21 AM (EST)
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11. "RE: Gay Idol Journal - Week Four (Elton John)" |
Very funny. Keep 'em coming. Looking forward to next week.
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sodiumswirl 79 desperate attention whore postings
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04-11-04, 03:08 AM (EST)
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13. "RE: Gay Idol Journal - Week Four (Elton John)" |
John Stevens gives me motion sickness - especially when he stands completely still. And no, you weren't the only one to notice Jon's Peter Lewis, just the only one brave enough to point it out first.
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dangerkitty 1913 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Herbal Healing Drugs Endorser"
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04-11-04, 11:58 AM (EST)
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15. "RE: Gay Idol Journal - Week Four (Elton John)" |
(In case you’re confused, that’s a backhanded insult, which is sort of like a backhanded compliment, except without the compliment part.)Great line, among many others! And of course, the Liberace Tablecloth is an instant classic.
Ahhhhhhhh....thank you, Larry! You do indeed make it worth it to keep watching this show. I was so looking forward to your take on Camille and Diana especially, and you did not disappoint! And everyone else was nailed dead-on, also.
Yea for Larry and the Journal! dangerkitty
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mahjonger 25 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
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04-13-04, 02:45 PM (EST)
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18. "RE: Gay Idol Journal - Week Four (Elton John)" |
Yes, yes, you make it all worthwhile -- the hour I thought I wasted watching last week's catastophe. Bravo, bravo! I agree with geg6 though that Jennifer's outfits are a tad too tight. Maybe that's what accounts for the faces?
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