Screw America, This is Our Game!!!

Last time on Big Brother, Rachel and Janelle were nominated for eviction by the HOH Jen (aka JBlow) and it looks like “The Friendship”, or more appropriately “the fiendship, is at an advantage. Basically they have the majority to vote out whichever nominated houseguest they want, but they still insist that James will be backdoored. Can Rachel or Janelle win the Power of Veto and be saved from the block?

We rejoin our hamsters with a look at the reaction to the nominations:

Janelle: Jen is the biggest b!tch and the biggest liar.

Rachel: Jen swore on her life.

Kaysar: Jen lied to my face and went back on her word a mere hours after we made a deal.

James: I know I’m getting backdoored.

In the gold room Rachel, Janelle, Howie and Kasyar are discussing the nominations and all of the lies they are now dealing with… and let’s just say, they aren’t too happy about JBlow’s move! Rachel is very upset and even cries in the diary room, but she will not let the fiendship see that.

Meanwhile, James and Ivette are in the other bedroom and Ivette is telling James that he still has a chance to stay in this game. James says he has no hard feelings about what is going to happen.

James joins JBlow in the HOH room to discuss what’s going on in the house.

James: I respect your decision.

JBlow: I’m completely honest in this game. Ummm… JBlow??? Are you really? If this is what you call honest, I can’t imagine what you think lying is!!!

James: I’m not the bad person that Rachel, Kasyar and Howie made me out to be. Wait a minute!!! James? Aren’t you the one who told the fiendship that you would play a better game without your girlfriend there and that you would be OK if she was voted out? Aren’t you the one who jumped ship when Crappy’s Crew lost the power in the house? Aren’t you the one who got caught playing both sides? Oh, yes, I thought so!!!

After James leaves, JBlow is chatting with Kaysar in the HOH room.

Kaysar: I am frustrated with your decisions about the nominations.

JBlow: I told James what I was going to do. You weren’t here last week Kaysar, did you know that Howie, Rachel and Janelle tried to get me and April to vote Ivette out? Ahem… JBlow??? Guess what? That is not exactly being honest in this game now is it? Yeah, we all know who started that conversation! Yeah, that’s right, we know the truth! I’m still doing what you want.

Kaysar expresses his distrust of JBlow in the diary room. Hey K! Your instincts are right man, they are soooo right!

Up next, we get another dose of sophomoric mindlessness when Ivette encourages Howie to put on the speedo that he got in his HOH basket. I guess since Howie saw the chocolate pee-pee last time, it was his turn to put the vanilla pee-pee on display and be gawked at in the shower stall as Ivette and Beau take a peek while he’s putting it on. Thanks Mr. Shapiro & Ms. Grodner, it’s nice to know that you don’t discriminate on your show. I say, equal rights for pee-pees!!!

Howie goes to the backyard to model it for the other hamsters and is told by several of the hamsters that he has a hot butt. He says, “I can do martial arts in this thing!” as he proceeds to fall on his hot butt! Hey, Shapiro & Grodner!!! I think Howie is the funniest hamster ever and a breath of fresh air in this house! This show needs more hamsters like him!

Surprise!!! Birthday party time! It seems that Maggie and Kaysar have both had recent birthdays so Arnie and Allison decided the Big Brother Kmart sponsor money piggy bank had enough left over from the previous birthdays that they would do it again. The party was complete with cake, cards from home and presents. Maggie got a PSP (and didn’t know what the heck it was) and Kaysar got a digital music player.

Back to the HOH room and we are treated a glimpse of Ivette campaigning to keep James in the house. The fiendship, which consists of JBlow, Maggot, BoBlo, Yapril and Yellvette discuss the fact that they can use James for his vote and they all say how tempting it is to lie. Hmmm… OK, so you haven’t all lied before in this game? *boggle*

Time for the POV competition! Who will win it? HOH JBlow picks April to play, Rachel picks Howie and Janelle picks Kaysar. This competition, we are told, may not have a winner. If nobody gets any points, there will be no POV this time. So, each of the previously evicted houseguests faces are on these floppy Frisbee thingies and the competitors have to toss then onto a round, spinning pyramid. Each hamster that they get on the correct level, which has the weeks on it, will earn them points.

April is up first, she tosses Ashlea’s face and it lands on week 1, she misses the second one, which is Michael, but makes the third one Crappy. She has earned 4 points. This is good because that means someone will win the POV.

Next is Rachel. She gets week 1 – Ashlea, week 2 – Michael and week 3 – Crappy for a total of 6 points and is now in the lead! Janelle got week 1 and week 3 for a total of 4 points. Howie got week 4 – Kaysar for 4 points. Kaysar got weeks 1 and 2 for a total of 3 points and JBlow got week 1 for 1 point, so Rachel wins the POV and has the power to remove herself from the block.

Back to the HOH room and the fiendship are discussing what to do if Rachel removes herself from the block: Bobo says to get rid of Kaysar, Yellvette wants to keep James around because he is weak, Yapril says we’ll get rid of Rachel after we get rid of Janelle. Maggot says: SCREW AMERICA!!! They disappointed me when they didn’t bring Crappy back into this house. Yellvette says: THIS IS OUR GAME, NOT AMERICA’S!!! WAH!!! WAH!!!

JBlow decides she will talk to each of the fienship individually so they don’t influence her decision, after all she is HOH and it is her decision! Basically, Maggot, Yellvette and Yapril tell her to get rid of Kaysar while Bobo says to get rid of James.

Wait a minute… Ummm… Bebo… I don’t know how to tell you this, but… my notes stop there. I don’t know what happened next. I think I *barfed* because I was ill from watching these morons.

Bebo: well Nutz, you’re not done with the summary and you need to find out what happened so you can finish.

But… but… then I have to relive the horrible moment.

Bebo: Well you signed up to write this thing and I have a huge amount of work to do policing these boards, so get to it!!!

YES MAAM!!! Right away, maam! *grumblegrumble*

Bebo: NOW!!!

OK Bebo, sheesh!

Anyway, Rachel called to order the POV ceremony, used it to take herself off the block and the very honest JBlow, who made a deal and SWORE ON HER EFFIN’ LIFE FER CHRISTSAKES!!! nominated Kaysar in her place!

Yep, screw you America! You shoved Kaysar back down our throats by an 82% majority and JBlow has put him on the block. Oh well, Kaysar pulled the asshat move of the season and gave up HOH, plus he was able to have a second chance in the house and totally blew it!!!

Next time, I leave you in the extremely capable and hilariously funny hands of our one and only Volsfan!!! Thanks for reading!

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