LAST EDITED ON 07-31-07 AT 12:58 PM (EST)
Previously on Pirate Master:
In truly the worst of many decision making blunders, the powers that be at cBS decided that it would be a good idea to take a show that was in the ratings dumpster, and shove it onto a substandard website where the ever shrinking audience would shrink even further due to DSL and cable viewers not being able to see video and hear audio at the same time, to lose part 4 all together, and to stick out their tongues at dial up users and say “neener, neener, losers!” This of course, brought the viewer-ship down even further, and has started a movement to slit Admiral Burnett at the belly and toss him overboard as chum.
Azzhat got the big chop from disgruntled crewmates and his “iron clad” triad buddies, and was set adrift leaving the crew accent free and without a cook. There was much rejoicing.
miraculous surprising Red Team win, Christa got the hallucinogenic big hat and spent the rest of the episode trying to make everyone believe that she wasn’t really the captain. Jay agreed with her.
Kendra was worthless as usual, got the black spot as usual, and ended up staying on board as usual.
Everyone else? Pfffffft, same drivel, different day.
Part One: We were wrong. It’s not the hat that causes hallucinations, its Jay.
It is a clear, calm night at sea following the ousting of the Azzhat. Louie is drinking, and Ben sits in the Captains quarters whining at Jay that he “feels so depressed after cutting someone adrift and doesn’t know if he can take it anymore.” Jay ignores this, and launches into his next strategy of the game. He is gunning for Nessa, whom he admits is a “little boxer who can kick my butt.” The way to getting rid of her is to keep Christa in the hallucinogenic hat for another week. He tells Christa that they need to bring Nessa into the cabin, ply her with grog, and convince her that she will be part of their final four.
Christa the Non-Captain Captain then tells us “Jay has been Captain since day one, he’s just never worn the hat.” Well Duh.
Part one concludes with the four sitting around a table being all warm and fuzzy. It cuts to Nessa telling us how comfortable she is feeling, and how she knows she will make it to the final four. Jay tells us that he has no intention of having her in his final four.
Oh, lets take a guess at who’s right.
ETA: I don't want to step on anyone's toes here, so should I go on, or wait for someone else? I'm also trying to not go overboard on the snark, so you get the real picture. lol