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"why do bachelors fail?"
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ozgirl 1 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"

04-29-04, 01:52 AM (EST)
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"why do bachelors fail?"
I have often wondered why none of the 'Bachelor' relationships seem to last yet of the two bachelorettes so far both appear to have found love and be blissfully happy??

any thoughts?

ozgirl

p.s. this is my first post ever so be gentle with me pls...

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  Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 RE: why do bachelors fail? martha 04-29-04 1
   RE: why do bachelors fail? kbpc3949 04-29-04 5
 An alternate explanation realitybites 04-29-04 2
 RE: why do bachelors fail? Loree 04-29-04 3
 evolutionary theory littlemisssmartypants 04-29-04 4
   RE: evolutionary theory minkey 04-29-04 6
       RE: Why Bachelors Fail rosegurl24 04-29-04 7
           RE: Why Bachelors Fail leogirl_21 04-29-04 8
               RE: Why Bachelors Fail Karennz 04-29-04 9
 RE: why do bachelors fail? schmoe 04-30-04 10
 RE: why do bachelors fail? Sweater_Puffs 04-30-04 11

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martha 6 desperate attention whore postings
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04-29-04, 02:53 AM (EST)
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1. "RE: why do bachelors fail?"
Maybe it's because the bachelors seem to choose the total gold-digging/bi-yotch/ho girls all the way to the finals. Although they don't choose them in the end, the chosen girl watches the show and sees that he is a moron for not realizing that the competition was a gold-digging/bi-yotch/ho. Then they break up.

The bachelorettes seem to leave themselves with a couple of high-caliber choices. It looks like they have better judgement.

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kbpc3949 16 desperate attention whore postings
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04-29-04, 02:27 PM (EST)
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5. "RE: why do bachelors fail?"
Amen!!
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realitybites 1174 desperate attention whore postings
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04-29-04, 06:26 AM (EST)
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2. "An alternate explanation"
Welcome to the boards, ozgirl. I have no intention of being anything but gentle with you.

Martha's explanation (above) seems reasonable, but I'd like to add a different perspective. I believe all of the guys (except for possibly Bob) have been there for the right reasons, but they get overwhelmed by the selection and overdose on it. Face it, ALL of the women the bachelor gets to choose from are good looking and MOST are willing to do WHATEVER IT TAKES to get their man. So, not being celibate or anything, they take advantage.

This causes problems in two ways:

1) As martha explained, the chosen woman gets jealous over the attention the bachelor gave to the other women, and that poisons their relationship, and

2) The bachelors start to get a swelled head and think that MANY beautiful women are willing to throw themselves at him. Which is sometimes true, but this is not conducive to a long-term relationship.

As for the bachelorettes, there have been just two, so it's harder to generalize about them. Guys, in general, realize that making out is a part of this game, so they don't get as jealous. I think Trista chose the one who was most interested in her, and it seems to be working so far. And I'm still waiting for the breakup of Meredith & Ian, but they haven't obliged me. Yet.

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Loree 8616 desperate attention whore postings
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04-29-04, 10:31 AM (EST)
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3. "RE: why do bachelors fail?"
Both Bachelorettes had already been thru the process on The Bachelor. They saw what it was like from the other side. So I think they also picked a little wiser and knew what to look for. They had already done their "just to be on TV" series and now they really wanted to find someone.

The guys with the exception of Bob had not done this before. Bob was a really bad choice because he never wanted to get married and was just talked into it because they thought he was popular. So he took advantage of his newfound popularity to promote his CD, book, etc. And he loved the women fawning all over him.

The other guys went into this not knowing what to expect. And hey, beautiful women were throwing themselves at them. What guy wouldn't love that? And they have their fun with the women they know very well they will not pick in the end. But the show makes them convince the audience that they just might pick every girl in the final group. But they are sometimes too convincing and the girl that does get picked also gets jealous. The final female has to sit and listen to the public talk about how he seemed so into the other women. Then after the show wraps they are not allowed to be together in public. But other women are throwing themselves at this new TV celebrity. The winning woman has to sit back and pretend she doesn't know who he picked while he is out promoting the show and still talking about how he had such a hard decision because he loved all the gals, yada yada yada. I think it takes quite a confident non-jealous woman to sit back and wait for the relationship to be able to really begin.

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littlemisssmartypants 477 desperate attention whore postings
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04-29-04, 02:06 PM (EST)
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4. "evolutionary theory"
I discussed this same issue in my first post.

Men are evolutionarily predisposed to be driven to "spread their seed," whereas women are predisposed to seek a long-term provider for their offspring. I know, it seems sexist, but this all started back in caveman days when this was the only arrangement that worked.

Men, given the opportunity to date many women, see the women as less of a prize and well, it just feels natural to be involved with lots of women.

Men forced to compete for 1 woman will view her as more of a prize and be more willing to stick around.

It is more natural for a woman to seek one man who will be the best provider.

And really, isn't it best for the men to be competing for the women?

LMSP

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minkey 231 desperate attention whore postings
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04-29-04, 04:45 PM (EST)
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6. "RE: evolutionary theory"
LAST EDITED ON 04-29-04 AT 10:41 PM (EST)

I remember that post and believe one of my first posts was in response! Look at us, sniff, we've lost our innocence and are each over 100 posts.

The point that resonates with me is the whole "prize" factor. With the exception of goofy Andrew, the men were done with the women before the reunion show. Why stick around when you're obviously sooo desirable that many longer-legged beauties surely await??? When a woman is the prize, the winner wants to flaunt their victory.

Obviously this is a generalization... I do believe that Trista chose the man who would worship and adore her (gag reflex) and Ian and Meredith WERE the best match, but the whole prize analysis rings true to me. Also, the women appear truer to the process with no pesky testosterone to cloud their thinking; *cough* Trish.

LMSP, I believe this is roughly what I said in my first response to you. Give me a second; I'm having a sentimental moment here.

Winky

edited for stupidity

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rosegurl24 4 desperate attention whore postings
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04-29-04, 05:36 PM (EST)
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7. "RE: Why Bachelors Fail"
I think it's that men think with theirs eyes and most of them are not ready to settle down where as women tend to take love a lot more seriously and look with their hearts. A woman looks for a soul mate and that is why I think they tend to stay together longer.
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leogirl_21 371 desperate attention whore postings
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04-29-04, 06:11 PM (EST)
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8. "RE: Why Bachelors Fail"
>I think it's that men think
>with theirs eyes and most
>of them are not ready
>to settle down where as
>women tend to take love
>a lot more seriously and
>look with their hearts.
>A woman looks for a
>soul mate and that is
>why I think they tend
>to stay together longer.


I agree! Also, guys don't always think, they just irrationally get into things and don't always use their heads when they think. That's a part of the problem.

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Karennz 112 desperate attention whore postings
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04-29-04, 08:05 PM (EST)
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9. "RE: Why Bachelors Fail"
This whole show concept is sort of like a romantic science experiment. lol So I think that makes it difficult to measure relationships on "The Bathelor" against real-life relationships. But I do believe that the reason the guys can't nail it (pardon the expression) is because...drumroll...

Men and women are looking for different things.

How's that for profound insight? lol

By the way, the jury is still out for me on the Trista/Ryan relationship. Let's see how easy it is for a regular-Joe-Schmoe sweetheart to live with a high-maintenance glamour puss.

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schmoe 69 desperate attention whore postings
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04-30-04, 11:22 AM (EST)
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10. "RE: why do bachelors fail?"
I think many of the above posters make good points that may be true, but its to early to tell. We don't have that much of a sample or that long a time to make any conclusions.

Merideth and Ian aren't married yet. (And lets not forget how many posters thought she chose the wrong guy). Trista and Ryan may not last.

Both genders make their fair share of mistakes when selecting a mate.

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Sweater_Puffs 269 desperate attention whore postings
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04-30-04, 06:30 PM (EST)
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11. "RE: why do bachelors fail?"
I think that most of the men just don't know themselves very well, and secondary to that, they really don't know what they want.

I think they are immature and ungrateful. They haven't cycled through the process of dating/breaking up/prowling/dating again/getting dumped/one night stands/etc. to get so sick of that to the point of really doing some soul searching to figure out what it is they really want and how they have to change in order to get it.

Take Jesse for example, he got all of the background info on Trish from his best friend, she gave him an answer about cheating with a married man that he didn't care for, yet he still kept her in the competition.

By keeping Trish in, he is sending such a strong message to everyone involved that he doesn't know what he wants, and/or his values are being compromised all for the sake of "entertainment value."

Bob let the fame go to his head, and after Trista dumped him, he could care less about hooking up with "the one."

Andrew Firestone seems so bland and ceremonial. Rich doesn't necessarily mean fun and interesting. He needs to find someone out of his own environment to be appreciated for who he is.

I forget his name, but the guy who lost his bachelorette when she threw the ring back at him in the bar when he was oogling another woman. He was disrespectful towards his woman that had nothing to do with whether he was prowling or not. He and the girl he chose were on Letterman, and he completely faded her out into the background. It's like she was as much a part of the furniture as the chair she was sitting in. He had his back to her and was only interested in talking to Letterman.

I didn't watch the one with Andre Michel, but he seemed like he was gay to me. I question his true intentions. He just came out with a video "Our First Sex Tape" - what's that all about. Ew!

ABC just seems to pick these guys who on the surface seem like great guys, then the ladies are blinded by wealth and good looks. It's a lethal combination. If they all hooked up and got married, the majority of them would wake up one day and wonder who the stranger was sleeping next to them.

Giving credit to the guys though, most of the ladies are pretty clueless as well. Nice enough, and certainly beautiful, but not really in touch with what really counts when looking for someone to spend the rest of your life with.

I think in the end, these shows will be a good learning tool for sociology/psychology classes in college, but the media should stay away from match making.

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