I'll volunteer, if you need. Haven't summarized here but have asked the Hawkeye questions on the Survivor forum (telling you things you already know, I suspect).

In fact, I'll bet I can write one now:

In this epidsode, Nikki and Paris realize they can't use the farm genny to straighten their eyelashes, causing considerable consternation and bleepage. The Saltoftheearth Family laughs as our plucky heroines attempt to create additional electricity by rubbing two irritated chickens together, to no avail. Anxious to prove they can pull their own weight and pay for the bunkbed accommodations so generously provided by the Salts (although Mr. Salt points out that the gals can curl up in his bed if they get too cold in the middle of the night), the ditzy debutantes volunteer to sell a few pints of blood at the local YMCA. Unfortunately, drug testing is mandatory prior to this gesture - hilarity ensues!

Next week: The Salt Family is disturbed when the girls treat the entire herd of cows to udder augmentation surgery.

The mitzvah that is my signpic courtesy the genius that is our own JSlice. Such a nice girl! Now, have some more borscht.