Well kiddies, here we are in beautiful sunny California. This reporter has been sent on assignment to Raging Waters Park in San Dimis to interview the lovely and talented Asrai.I enter the park and can’t help but be reminded of the new Survivor season by the names of the water rides; Amazon Adventure and Dark Hole (inspired by Jenna, I’m sure). There is a large crowd of men congregating near one of the pools, so I started to push my way through to see what all the excitement was about. It didn’t take long to realize why the men were gathered. In the middle of the mob scene stood Asrai, absolutely stunning in her red bikini. Oh joy, now I have to be the one to disappoint all her admirers by dragging her off for an interview.
When Asrai spots me, she smiles and waves. We decide to go to the pool bar for a round of margaritas and some conversation. Thus our interview begins.
Asrai, tell me how you got your SB name.
Asrai: When I first joined SB, I registered under the name Paradisebythedashboardlight. I loved the song, but hated the long name, so I never posted. An Asrai is a water fairy. We usually live in deep lakes and seas of water and come out naked at moonlight every 100 years. If we’re caught, we melt into a pool of water, so we have to be careful. I enlisted the help of my sister, Femme, and she made me a sig pic to post with. Heehee, I wouldn’t even post until I had a “face”. What a DAW!
OK, well I’m sure the Texas Twosome will be having some great fantasies about the whole naked and moonlight thing, but what makes you think you’re an Asrai?
Asrai: I love the water, which is why I wanted to be interviewed here, plus I fit all the traits of an Asrai, including the pale skin. That reminds me, I need some more sunscreen. Think I can get anyone to put some on my back?
<This reporter suddenly found herself trampled to the ground by the mad rush of men begging to do the honors. I realized then that this setting is going to be impossible and asked Asrai if we could go elsewhere.>
Asrai: Actually, the Rose Bowl Flea Market is a wonderful place! We can cruise the array of antiques and hidden treasures!
<I quickly agree to the change of venue, and we’re off antiquing.>
Asrai, how did you find SB and when you wandered into OT, what made you want to stay?
Asrai: I lurked a few different Survivor sites since the beginning of the series, with SB being one of them. The one thing I remember about SB is the logo. I just couldn’t fathom why someone would have a smiley face that didn’t smile! It actually turned me away! As for finally coming out of lurkdom, I owe that all to Femme. She had recently joined, and highly recommended it to me. It was the best thing I’ve done for myself in a long time! The reason why I’ve stuck around is the community, the people, and especially the laughs! Yep, the laughs, they keep me around!
Speaking of Femme, how strange is it to have your sister posting on the same board?
Asrai: Oh, Femme is quite strange! Oh yeah! Oops, I mean, it’s not strange at all. Actually, I think it’s something that a lot of people couldn’t or wouldn’t do. However, Femme and I have a rather unique bond. We share everything, well, not everything, but you get the picture! My whole family knows about my illness, I mean, that I call SB home! They think I’m a freak anyways, so this isn’t a surprise to them.
<There is a loud squeal that can be heard throughout the flea market, I turn to see Asrai lovingly caressing a beautiful antique armoire.>
Asrai: Oh my, this would look so nice in my 1880’s home that we’re remodeling.
That’s right, you have a project home. Care to tell the SB posters a little about it?
Asrai: Oh my, do you really have time to sit through a, “Lemme-tell-you-about-my-1880’s-house?”
Um, I said to tell them a little about it. <Actually, this reporter secretly took a picture of the work crew that's been so busy on Asrai's home! Allow me to share with you all.>
Asrai: Ok, let me start by telling you that I haven’t fallen so deeply in love since Matthew (Femme’s youngest) was born! I love my new place! Can you tell?! We signed the papers in January 2002, and we’re just now really getting things going. Over the summer, we rewired everything, ran all new ductwork, and replaced the two prehistoric furnaces. We recently finished the drywall and ceilings upstairs. Now it’s time to paint upstairs! Yipee! Downstairs we remodeled the kitchen and laundry/pantry room. Now I’m just waiting for Ty Pennington to show up as my personal carpenter to give some TLC to the rest. Hubba hubba!
No wonder you wanted to come to the flea market, lots of toys here for your new house. While we’re shopping, keep in mind that my car is small. I have a feeling we could end up filling up SOL’s rig by the end of the day! Although I really could go for a new antique radio. <eyes the possibilities> Tell me about your real life, Asrai. Family, pets, that kind of stuff.
Asrai: I’m married to my high school sweetheart and the mother of three wonderful daughters. I was born and raised in SoCal, but followed my husband to Indiana to help run the family’s motels. I work as a sex toy/fetish wear product tester, *giggle*, I mean, I’m fortunate enough to be an at-home mom! We pretty much have a farm with all our pets, however, here’s a quick rundown: a black lab named Jade who thinks she’s a lap dog, a Pomeranian named Bandit who thinks he’s tougher than nails, 7 cats who think they have to repopulate the entire east central Indiana area, two hamsters named Comet and Domino that started out as science projects, and three Betas who have real names, but I call them all Master! My hobbies include motorcycles, muscle cars, tattoos, fishing, bowling, swimming, softball, photography, and writing.
You mean to tell me that with all those animals around (including two hamsters), you don’t have a hamster named Wheezy? Boy, is she gonna be ticked! So, your sig quote says that when you’re bad, you’re really bad. How bad? Hehehe.
Asrai: What are you giggling for? Let’s just say that I’m very bad in a good way! *winks at all the dirty minded peeps*
I think you just winked at the whole community, hon. Tell me what your favorite reality show is and why.
Asrai: I never really thought much about it. I still have a soft spot for Survivor, with TAR and The Mole a close 2nd and 3rd. I guess the reason I chose Survivor is that my family watches with me, but only if they follow the rule. Yes, you heard me right, we have only one rule while watching Survivor. You don’t speak or make any noises unless there’s a commercial on. So, in other words, if you’re choking, go in the other room please. Just don’t interrupt MY viewing pleasure!
Tough love! But necessary, I know. Even my animals have to be quiet during TAR. With all these reality shows, you’ve seen a lot of hotties. Which ones were your favorites?
Asrai: Oh my, Ty Pennington from Trading Spaces (I love a man who knows how to use his hands!) tops my list! Jack from S5 (love older men!) and Dave from S6 (love them smart boys!) are also up there. I have a handful of other faves, but if you want me to finish this interview, we’d better move along!
Oh, do we have to? <Asrai gives me the “look”>Yes, umm, what were we talking about? That’s right, hotties. Mmmmm….<I shake my head to snap out of it> It’s in the official interview laws that I have to ask you who your favorite posters are. *cough*cough* Gee, I must have some sort of a tickle in my throat. Who are your favorites, Asrai? *cough*
Asrai: I knew this was coming! I can honestly say that I love all of you! Femme, since she’s family. L8, for taking the time to get to know me better! Now, so I don’t hurt anyone’s feelings, a quick shout out to my OT buddies in no particular order. *drawing in a deep breath* here we go: Buggy, Wheezy, Mandy, True, Bebo, Lady T, Tech, Snooch, Mistofleas, Sami, Nailbone. SOL, Packman, Papabear, Bucky Katt, LisaPooh, sleeeve, JV, AyaK, Dave, Supes, Esbea, Belle, Kingslayde, Red Lady, Crimsyn, Sheila, Sophie, Canada Girl, the LePew’s, Magic Star, thndrkttn, Meemo, Swami, RR, Tink, Webby, Frau, Scribe, Schnookie, Q, Katem, IceCat, Minitroll, Strider, Shakes, Lion Chow, IE, WCH, JiZZy, Red Dobie, trshtvjnky, Jedi, AnotherKim, wendy, silvergirl, sticks, weltek, lights, survivorchick, Zuma, Mr. Wheezy, Mule, S man, bacon, Ahtum, AZ Leo, bebekid, Draco, Naked, bubsy, Boomer, Boilermaker, Rain Crow, blacknwhitedog, Breezy, Cin, Dawg, Mon, Vampy, Volmel, Sir-erist, Rebel Crown, Phoenix Mons, bondt007, jkokoj, PCP, sunny bunny, lizard, tjstein, smiley, Fester, sorgee, kiki, Moonie, Spidey, Jims, IdiotCowboy, SurvivorScott, Rosewood, Trigirl, Echogirl, JeffGator, I AM HE, Kokoro, Makeitstop, Sittem, and all the new babies that have graced the boards recently! Whew! *begs L8 for an oxygen tank * I sure hope I didn’t forget anyone, my memory isn’t what it used to be! *takes a hit off the oxygen mask*
OMH! I’m winded just listening to you! Pass me that mask. <takes a hit> Oh, it really is oxygen. Pfft! Well, we are down to that final question. You know the one I’m talking about. What SB posters do you have a crush on? <raises eyebrows and giggles>
Asrai: What are you giggling for, L8? This question is just as devious as the last one, only this one is way more fun! Hmmm *surveying the long line of SB hunks* I’m gonna have to go with my heart on this one. I’m a sucker for a cowboy, always have been! I choose Nailbone and SOL. Wow, I got a two for one deal, Woohoo! Oh my, my mind is reeling with the possibilities! *quickly runs over to steal smoochies from the rest of the equally hot SB hunks while squeezing their tushies* Is it getting hot in here?
Since Asrai is now busy smooching and squeezing (and it looks like she’ll be busy for a while!), I suppose this concludes our interview. Now if I can only get some of these guys to pry themselves away from Asrai long enough to load up all our purchases, I’ll be in business! Thank you all for tuning in. Until next time……
Who has to let you all know what that Asrai is a real sweetheart and I had an absolute BLAST doing this interview with her!
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blacknwhitedog
Soylent Green: recycling America, one person at a time.
