TSI Episode 7: Egg Me On, Rip Me Off

Webby: Um, Bebo?

Bebo: Hi, Webby! Sit down and watch TAR with me.

W: Actually Beebs, I’m here to talk to you about TAR.

B: Shh shh shh, this is the good part. It’s where Phil tells Charla and Mirna that they’ve been eliminated from the Race.

W: Beebs, I was wondering when you’d have the TSI completed for that episode. And the one after that.

B: Oh, I’ll start working on it after I finish watching this tape one more time.

W: That’s what you said yesterday. And the day before. And the day before that.

B: But I really mean it this time. Just let me rewind once more…Hey, gimme back the remote!

W: After the TSI is done.

B: OK.

W: And remember your minimum word count.

B: Dang.

Moral of the story? You have to get up pretty early in the morning to put one over on Webby.

1. Colin & Christie (2nd in Race, 1st last TSI) – Oh how mature of Christie to block the door of the airport to try and prevent Charla and Mirna from getting through. It’s not like Colin did anything with the effort, almost settling for the first (and definitely not the best) option available just because that was the first open ticket counter he found. Note to Colin: being a drama king during the Roadblock doesn’t make it any easier to eat. Oh, and trying to scoop up the remnants of your dropped egg was a bad call. Note to Christie: if you’re not eating the food because of your weak stomach, don’t criticize the guy who is for trying to make it palatable, even if he’s proving that he’s a lousy cook.

This week: 100 Omarosas
Overall: 4 Trumps, 180 Omarosas

2. Chip & Kim (1st in Race, 2nd last TSI) – While watching C&C and C&M square off, Chip says “it’s like the Clash of the Titans”. No Chip, Colin is no Harry Hamlin. (Although the Race could be livened up by some FX creatures from the great Harryhausen himself. But I digress.) They earned a lemming penalty for just following along with the pack’s decision to let Colin be in charge. It’s bad enough that Christie lets that happen. Then again, when they took charge, they didn’t give clear enough instructions, and ended up having helpful locals guide them to where they could get pillows for their new chairs, instead of the delivery location. Still, the “Michael Jordan of caviar” once again proved that he could eat his way around the world.

This week: 60 Omarosas
Overall: 230 Omarosas

3. Linda & Karen (3rd in Race, 5th last TSI) – Bowling Moms play Hide & Seek. Yuck. They mocked the others for being meek followers, even though they were doing the exact same thing, just for a different set of leaders. Pot, meet kettle (appropriate when we’re dishing out Omarosas, isn’t it?). As one of them put it, “Back of the pack again…story of our life.” Yes, that’s what happens when you follow instead of trying to lead.

This week: 60 Omarosas
Overall: 290 Omarosas

4. Kami & Karli (5th in Race, 6th last TSI) – Geography lesson, girls…at the airport, you said you needed to go to Nairobi, Africa. Hello, you were in Africa when you said this. And they earned their lemming penalty too. A twin even said, “That Swiss decision was the stupidest decision any of us have made.” OK, I’ll agree that ranks quite highly for the teams still in the Race. The worst overall decision award still goes to Donny for a) agreeing to partner with Aliwhore, b) not strangling her on one of the many occasions when she was horrible to him, and c) for dating her in the first place. They did a dorky dance when Charla & Mirna weren’t with the rest of the teams – yeah, like anything you did had any bearing on that. And let’s just keep following, with Brandon & Nic leading the girls into Ripoff Land.

This week: 80 Omarosas
Overall: 1 Trump, 330 Omarosas

5. Brandon & Nicole (4th in Race, 4th last TSI) – They earn the lemming penalty for following Colin. And it wouldn’t be an episode of TAR without a religious reference, when Nicole comments that the rainbow is “the symbol of God’s promise”. Hello…God’s not just talking to you two. Was it God’s will that you get ripped off on the bus ride and pay $100 vs. C&C’s $5? I think you’d have a better chance of winning if Nicole would actually participate in the Detour, instead of just strolling behind. To add insult to injury, she then tells Brandon to slow down and wait for her. Hello – if my partner were doing all of the heavy lifting, I’d let him set the pace. Got mega penalties for that one.

We interrupt this TSI for a rant. I don’t make fun of teams that broadcast their beliefs as a way to shoot down Christians. Quite the contrary – I think that God has better things to do than to get involved in the results of a reality show. And there seems to be a trend that those professing their faith the loudest are those that show it the least in their actions. I am offended by the presumption that God will award this Race to the “best” Christians in it, and the implication that the teams don’t win because they’re not good enough people. So there’s no need to email me that I’m going to hell.

This week: 170 Omarosas
Overall: 1 Trump, 360 Omarosas

6. Charla & Mirna (Eliminated, 7th last TSI) – Well, it finally happened. Miss Delusional and the Midget (sounds like a bad UPN show, doesn’t it? Oh wait, bad UPN show is redundant.) are finally out of the Race. And what a lovely mouth Mirna demonstrated during the episode, first calling Christie a bitch when she blocked the airport door, then referring to her and Colin as the “scum of the earth”. Pot, meet kettle (I sense a theme… ) And wasn’t it cute watching them hide from the other teams and stick their tongues out at the camera? I didn’t think so either. And telling the ticket agent not to sell tickets to C&C because they’re violent was lame too. Yeah, if they’re such a threat, why tell the ticket agent and not airport security? I think the tongue-sticking-out showed the ticket agent just how big of a threat he needed to be concerned about. And after pointing out that flights are frequently delayed, they took a chance on changing to a different flight from the others and ended up behind because of it. Then Mirna asks if there’s room on the first charter, even though they’re one of the last teams to arrive. Do you really think the other teams are stupid enough to choose later charters if there were still spots on the first one? I will give Mirna credit, though, for offering to do all of the work on the cart pull - she’s had enough trouble pulling her own weight in this team to this point. But it wouldn’t be Mirna without the drama, telling us, “I’m getting sick, I’m going to vomit now.” That’s what we keep saying when you’re on screen, girl. And speaking of vomit, I’m surprised that Charla didn’t take a break from eating to slap her for her constant prattling during the eating. “It’s delicious, it’s good for you, it’s protein.” Like I said about Christie, if you’re not eating it, shut up about it. Obviously, it wasn’t delicious enough to attract you to eating it. Speaking of vomit again, I wanted to when Phil got choked up during Charla’s canned speech and the farewell to Mirna. If I were Phil, I would have been glad to get this prospective stalker away from me. He called her an amazing teammate…is he on drugs?

This week: 80 Omarosas
Overall: 2 Trumps, 495 Omarosas

Next week: Colin doesn’t like doughnuts.

I know, just play along.