SHII'S ALL THAT!

SHE'S NOT.

Welcome to Survivor Insider. Here's a handy guide to how to vote people off after a food reward challenge.

FOOD WARNINGS
By BlueGeena
WARNING! Markopolo has no control over what BlueGeena writes. Send all hate mail to BlueGeena@hotmail.com.

If you want to vote someone off, do NOT let them eat the following foods, or else they will win the immunity challenge.

Bostonian: Amber. (It happened numerous weeks in a row.)

Farmer: Back of goat's ##### that looks like Lindsey's.

Amborian: Whipped cream, chocolate syrup (she might take after Jerri) and a loooong banana.

Alician: Finger-wagging pop or vegetables (she doesn't like vegetarians).

Cheerleader-ian: Captain of the football team.

Asian American: Rice.

Bearded weirdo: Cracker Jacks. Or was it Crack and Jack in the Box? (AKA: Average Los Angeles meal)

A FEW NOTES:

1) All archives of the Insider are available at Survivor Network, where you can find them on my spoiler page (an ode to TrueDorkTimes)
http://www.londyscreations.com/survivornetwork/spoilers.asp
Thanks to Larry Londy for the web space.

2) If you want just the transcript, SurvivorFever.net posts it, minus hilarious commentary, in a few days.

3) Thanks to all those who support me in this thread. It takes about 3 hours to do a transcript, and I enjoy the comments, good or bad. Remember, I do this FOR FUN. Though, if you diss me, I will come after you like Shii Ann gloating.

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TRIBAL COUNCIL VOTING
ALICIA BOOTED
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Markopolo's note: Interesting that a bunch of the voters point to Alicia's lack of work around camp as reasoning for why they are voting her out. Yet we saw nothing of this in any of the episodes. In fact it was Alicia complaining about Rob C's work ethic. Rupert and Tom did complain about the other four Chaperans, but at no point was Alicia called out individually. Did they just make it up as an excuse to follow their alliance?

Anyway, some might say that Tom missed a big opportunity to bring in a twosome (Rupert and Jenna or Rob and Amber) to get rid of a dominant male. But, at this point of the game, I think it might be a worthy gamble to hope that at 5, he can be the swing vote and make it to the Final 3. It didn't work for Kathy because she was viewed as the toughest opponent in the F2. Tom is not that tough to beat.

So it might not work out for Tom, but in his situation, I might have stayed pat, too. I don't think he and Alicia were that close anyway. But again, it's hard to judge alliances from the editing.

Rupert (votes Alicia): I guess work ethic counts for a lot. You've been nice. You've been sweet to me. But you're not one of the workers in the camp. I don't know what else to say. I hope it's not me tonight. I hope it's you.

Amber (votes Alicia): AMBER PAUSES BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO SPELL IT. SHE ADDS IN AN L AT THE LAST MINUTE.

Basically this aint (my vote?), but I need to make sure I vote along with the majority. You are a huge threat to me personally. And so it's been hilarious by the (???? Inaudible). Good luck. (AMBER FOLDS HER VOTE SHARPLY AND CRISPS IT. WHY DOES SHE DO THAT?)

Jenna (votes Alicia): I think you're starting to target Rupert and I because we could beat you in the final two. We have to get rid of one of our own, so, chomp chomp. (I HOPE JENNA GETS HER BUTT KICKED IN THE FINAL TWO).

Alicia (votes Rupert): Rupert, I have to give you major, major props for your skills as a survivalist. You are the ultimate, ultimate outdoorsman, as you have proven. But sometimes you need to ease back a little bit. You don's have to always be the best and prove to everyone that you are. It makes you a target. Now that we're down to the Final six, somebody's gotta go. You're the biggest target out of all of us. I wish you the best of luck in the world buddy. You're the best.

Tom (votes Alicia): Alicia, even today I tried to ask you to go get (water?) and you asked where the spring was. We've been living here eight days and you don't know where the spring was? That means you ain't been getting any water. (rest is inaudible)

Shii Ann (votes Alicia): This is for bad sportsmanship. It isn't the time to pout. It isn't the time to sit around and complain about our .... rice. This is for a lack of work ethic. This is for you calling me a gloater. Here's me gloating you out! Bye Bye, Alicia.

Markopolo's note: BEST vote of All-Stars!!! Go Shii-Devil!!!!!!!

Rob (votes Alicia): I've been waiting to do this for 27 days. Remember the fight we had on Day 3? Where I zipped my lip. I didn't fight back. I've been dying to do this. So, au revoir, adios, arrivederci. sayonara, or as we say in Boston, see ya later.

Markopolo's note: It appears we don't have the full understanding of Bostonian language. Here are a few words.

MARKOPOLO'S GUIDE TO BOSTONIAN LANGUAGE

English: Losers.
Bostonian: Red Sox.

English: Satan.
Bostonian: Yankees owner George Steinbrenner.

English: Jerk.
Bostonian: Mariano.

English: Pathetic attempt at a mustache.
Bostonian: Mariano.

English: Homophobic.
Bostonian: Mariano.
***Well, we can't exactly translate it. "Mariano" could mean homophobic or homo something. We're just not sure. Seems like there's some uncertainty there. I think there's a dictionary in Rob's closet.

English: Dumb.
Bostonian: Trading Babe Ruth.

English: Roger Clemens.
Bostonian: Traitor.

English: Amber.
Bostonian: Whore.
***CORRECTION. Apparently they have the same meaning in both languages.

English: Rupert, Jenna, Tom.
Bostonian: Sheep.

English: Tea party.
Bostonian: Riot.

English: How bout them apples.
Bostonian: Rob's comments about Colby. "Yeah ladies, he's not so tough."

English: Jesus editing in Passion of the Christ.
Bostonian: Rob's editing in Survivor All-Stars.

English: Survivor All-Stars.
Bostonian: Easy million dollars.

---------------------------
Sweet Revenge
1 min : 56 sec
---------------------------
Clip description: Shii Ann turned the game upside down and dismayed her tribe when she brought home the Immunity necklace. Watch Shii Ann gloat in her newfound confidence.

Markopolo's note: Shii Ann is my new hero! Just using the word Pagoning on the show was outstanding. She gets an A+!

But, she does gloat a little too much, and while I personally loved every minute of it, this is still a great chance to make fun of her!

Shii Ann (confessional): Yea, I won an immunity challenge! I can't believe it! (pumps her arms). These little tiny stick arms (points to where muscles would be) won the challenge today. I am so excited. I am the happiest girl in Chaboga Mogo right now (AS OPPOSED TO JENNA, WHO IS TOO DAMN HAPPY ALL THE TIME.)

I have been treated like crap since Kathy left. People are ignoring me, not talking to me because they have their strong alliance of six (makes funny face). And (doing impression of Chaperans) "Sorry, Shii Ann. We like you and everything, but you're going to get voted off after the next immunity challenge. We know we're going to vote you off."

I spent the last three days trying to cut deals with these people and trying to explain to them that logically, it doesn't make sense for you guys not to take me along. It's a tribe of seven right? Perfect time to take control of a group of four over a group of three.

No one would have any of it.

(doing impression of chaperans) "No, Shii Ann, we want to go with our tribe of six original Chaperans. We want to stick together because we've known each other longer and our alliance is so strong Blah blah blah blah blah."

(YES, THE SHII DEVIL STRIKES BACK WITH HER SECOND BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH. THE FIRST WAS AFTER SHE WAS TALKING TO "CAPTAIN AMERICA" COLBY ABOUT STRATEGY).

Well, guess what? I won immunity. So (points finger) you're going to have to eat one of her own.

(SHII ANN'S NOT GLOATING IS SHE?).

And (sarcastic) now is your chance to come crawling back to Shii Ann and begging me for a vote. (HILARIOUS!!!!!! SHII ANN RULES!)

We'll see if they're smart enough to do that. They might just ignore me altogether; vote off one of them by themselves. But again, STUPID move. It doesn't make sense, logically. This game is about strategy. It's not about friendships, it's not about romance (OH STOP BEING JEALOUS THAT YOU'RE NOT GETTING ANY OF AMBER!)

It's not about allegiances. It's about chess moves, strategic, logical moves. Who do I want to strategically advance with into the next round, that I can beat -- in both immunity challenges and reward -- and also in the Final 2 -- who do I want to take with me. Who do I trust?

---------------------------
Amber's Tale
2 min : 37 sec
---------------------------
Clip description: Watch Amber describe why Rupert chose the way he did at the Reward, and find out what REALLY went on.

Markopolo's note: This is a GREAT clip. It tells us a LOT of inside info. It appears Rupert and Tom aren't as far apart as the episode showed today. Tom's Alicia vote also helps that theory. Read on!

Amber (confessional): Today at the challenge when she was talking non-stop about how she needed it so much. I know she needed it, but it's like, enough already, we know. But I don't blame her for scrambling. That's exactly what I would be doing if I knew I was going. And now that she's not going, I don't blame her for trying to bond with somebody. She is the person left out. I don't blame her at all. But it's hard being on the other side because you get annoyed easily.

CUT

We had dinner with Rupert. He chose to bring every single one of us. I knew he would. Everybody knew he would. And of course he got the biggest, and gave Rob the second biggest. And I think that's because Rob hasn't been able to eat too much around here (HE'S BEEN GNAWING ON YOU TOO MUCH). He definitely needs it. And I knew for sure that Jenna would come after Rob because Rupert and Jenna, you know, (Amber crosses her fingers to show that they are "together"), they are inseparable. Then me. I pretty much predicted that order. I knew it would be that way.

He knew that Big Tom was pretty much, ya know, he's eating well. He doesn't really need any extra strength. He didn't have a lot in the beginning so he's not that much competition.

And I think Rupert feels that Tom really trusts Rupert, because they have become really close and tight. They're always collecting wood together and stuff like that. So he really wasn't worrying about his relationship with Big Tom too much.

Shii Ann got the smallest. That was predictable. Then he kinda put Alicia in the middle, which is pretty much where she always is within the tribe. She's always in the middle.

CUT

Alicia got a pretty big-sized bowl of salad. And to be pretty honest, when I was picking my meal, it was between the salad and the sandwich (GOTTA WATCH YOUR FIGURE. FHM MIGHT CALL AGAIN).

In between was a hot dog and that didn't look like much at all. And the salad looked kind of filling (AND ONLY 200 CALORIES!!!!).

And she said she was pretty happy to get the salad. She said she probably would have chosen that if she had first or second pick.

(OK WHAT IS UP WITH WOMEN AND SALADS? GIMME A FRIGGIN BREAK! I KNOW IT'S THE TOP PRIZE FOR REWARD CHALLENGES ON "AMERICA'S TOP MODEL," BUT PUH-LEASE!!!)

So she was pretty satisfied and she didn't take the decision to heart. She didn't let herself get bothered by it like other things. (WANT TO VOTE A WOMAN OUT? GIVE THEM A SALAD TO BUTTER THEM UP. STILL NEED A MOTHER'S DAY PRESENT? HOW ABOUT A HEAD OF LETTUCE? WAIT A SECOND. HEAD. LETTUCE. AREN'T THOSE TWO OF AMBER'S FAVORITE THINGS?)

My decision was to take the ham and cheese sandwich which was obvious. I love sandwiches (IN BETWEEN ROB AND JENNA). And I love ham and cheese sandwiches. And I thought it would be easy to eat slow. I peeled off the bread one by one. Then I ate the ham bite by bite. Then I ate the cheese bite by bite (THEN SHE CUT THE CHEESE).

I wanted to pick something that would last a long time. And I love bread. So I was happy with what I got. I mean it's better than the cold potatoes that Big Tom got. I actually think he got the worst. Even Shii Ann, I thought her rice was better than Tom's potatoes.

(MOST people think Shii Ann's "RICE" is better than Tom's "COLD POTATOES.")

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Alicia Fires Back
3 min : 28 sec
---------------------------

Clip description: Why was Alicia so offended at her tribemates' decisions at the Reward Challenge? Find out as Alicia fires back!

Markopolo's note: Alicia is Alicia-Silverstone CLUELESS. Chaperan Red Flags are popping up all over that reward challenge, and she doesn't see them!? Alicia has been disappointing this whole season. But she is right when she says she deserves to be there more than Jenna -- the un-hot death ball of perkiness.

Alicia (confessional): So you had to answer questions about individuals. Some of them were loaded questions, some of them were funny or whatever they were about, ya know, certain people. A couple of them were really loaded, like who doesn't deserve to be here. Who thinks they're smart but they're not. And Shii Ann and I were tied for who doesn't deserve to be here. Which I think I deserve to be here a lot more than Shii Ann, and a lot more than Jenna for sure. But we were tied. So there ya go. That's how people feel. And I'm sure that tie went Rupert and Jenna, because I don't really talk to them very much. I don't really care much for Jenna at all. And Rupert, he's a nice guy and does his thing. He's not part of my original tribe. And Shii Ann, they probably all put my name down. So that's fine.

And who thinks they're smart, but they're not is an interesting one. Because everyone's been coming to me to make an alliance. And then they put down that I think I'm smart, but I'm not. Well, then don't come to me to make an alliance to get to the final 2.

(OK AT THIS POINT IT WOULD BE TOO EASY TO MAKE A JOKE).

I've had three people, four including Shii Ann, come up to me to be in the Final 2.

They're all loaded questions and there's probably something behind it.

(OK...I CAN'T TAKE IT!!!!! YEAH, THEY DON'T THINK YOU DESERVE TO BE THERE. SO WHO DO YOU THINK THEY ARE GOING TO BOOT NEXT? AND WHY DID THEY WANT YOU IN THE FINAL TWO? BECAUSE YOU WOULD BE A CINCH TO BEAT! SHEEEEEESH!)

But at this point I don't really care what's behind it (BASICALLY, YOU QUIT AND LOST BECAUSE OF IT.)

It's what is front of it. It's what is in front. This is a game, and right now I am bothered by it. But I'll get over it. I don't really care. These people, I'm playing a game with them. They're not my close friends. They’re not my family. So this is not the end all of anything. (UH, IT "IS" THE END).

The game goes on (NO IT DOESN'T. AREN'T YOU LISTENING TO ME, ALICIA?????)

I'm going to do what I have to do without any hurt feelings. Before, I may have had to cross somebody and said something back, and that would have been hard feelings. But now, I can do what I want to do without the hard feelings.

So basically, it just made it easier for me to play this game (AND MADE IT EASIER FOR THEM TO MAKE SURE YOU LEFT IT).

CUT

They're trying to be nice. And (doing impression), "We understand your feelings are hurt."

It's none of that.

What it is, is the fact that I am here in the Final 7, and this point of the game, you want to stay focused. You don't want to have to deal with stuff like this. I don't need anybody to console me. I need to get through this game. And I don't really care about all of the people enough for them to console me. I don't need that.

Jenna's trying to put her arm around me. Gimme a break. Jenna and I have no connection at all. I don't like fake people. (JENNA: FAKE? SHE'S MORE REAL THAN A BOB SURA TRIPLE DOUBLE, BRITNEY'S BREASTS, AND JOHN KERRY"S FACE).

And the moment she put her arm around me I told her, don't bother. Don't even bother. Because I shoot from the hip.

I don't love her. I don't really appreciate her as a person. She's very abrasive to me and I don't need her to console me. That's just going to make things worse. And she's probably one of the people that voted that way anyways. So she needs to save it.

What I need to do is get through this game, and it's going to help me do that a lot easier without hurt feelings.

Because ya know, I am going to do what I have to do to win this game. And if means turning on somebody and stabbing them in the back, then that's what I have to do. And I won't feel bad about it. So it's going to help me in the next nine days to get through it.

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Rupert Drinks More!
1 min : 36 sec
---------------------------

Clip description: Watch Rupert prolong the Reward as he orders beer after beer while his tribemates rest nearby.

Markopolo's note: Nothing much in this clip. Just a few extra interesting shots of the table and others. Most of it was in the show.

Alicia just says Rupert was "plastered. Plastered!"

Amber does have one good quote: "The most important thing out here is to make sure your alliances are sticking together. And that dinner proved it."

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Tree Mail
1 min : 41 sec
---------------------------

Clip description: Watch the tribe collect their Tree Mail and prepare for an important Immunity Challenge.

Markopolo's note: Just the stupid treemail clip from the show. A few extra tidbits. Tom explains the challenge from Africa. And Rob says he will compete hard at the challenge unless "Shii Ann's out of the game."

---------------------------
Alicia Final Words
---------------------------

Markopolo's note: The quote that raises your brow: "So I think they need to know now, the people I had an alliance with, that I am going to be deciding their fate, and I am not going to make it easy for them. "

Alicia: The first time I played Survivor, I was going balls-out, trying to be the strongest person I could be, not too in control of my emotions. I don't have a lot of patience for people and stupidity, so I let a lot of things get to me. This time around, I bit my tongue a lot more, I walked away a lot more, kept my mouth quiet, listened more than I spoke, and eased back in the Challenges a lot so that I didn't look like such a threat. Some people may have liked that, some people may have not, but it got me six days further into this game than it did the first time. Instead of being the first member on the Jury, I am now the third member on the Jury. As long as I placed better than I did the first time, I'm perfectly happy with that. I have no qualms.

The reason why I wanted to do All Stars? Quite honestly, I didn't really say to myself, "I want to do All Stars." I had to question myself; I wasn't sure if I wanted to come back and play this game again, because the first time was an amazing experience, and I'd like to preserve that. Maybe the second time around would not be so great for me. But on the flipside of that, I had to think, how would I feel if I pass up the opportunity to play the game again? I think that's something I may have regretted for the rest of my life: that I had the opportunity to try again, and I didn't. That pretty much made the decision for me. I don't want to regret anything in my life. So, I decided, "What the hell? Let's give it another go; let's try this one more time."

You know what? I walk away from this experience knowing that this is something I could do, knowing that I can put myself to the ultimate test, knowing that I can put a goal in my head and I can achieve it, that I can bring myself there, that I can do what I have to do and focus on that to get myself where I want to be. Of course, I would have wanted to win the million dollars, but I did better than I did the first time. I learned from the mistakes I made in Australia, and I brought them here to Panama, and I played the game the way I thought I should play it, according to the mistakes that I made the first time, so that I don't reenact those again. So I learned from those mistakes, and I did play better. I totally feel I played better this time, so the end results are good ones. There are no problems there.

I now get to sit on the Jury; this game is far from over for me. I am going to be listening in to everything that happens, and I get to have a hand in deciding who wins the million dollars. That decision is not going to be made without my input, and believe me, I'm going to give it. That's one thing I think people here know about me, that I shoot from the hip. I'm not fake, and I say what I feel, unless I walk away. If I'm quiet, that means I don't want to say anything. So I think they need to know now, the people I had an alliance with, that I am going to be deciding their fate, and I am not going to make it easy for them.

---------------------------
Alicia, the Day After
6 min : 20 sec
---------------------------

Markopolo’s note: Alicia was putting me to sleep, but then she got pis*ed off in the middle, so it woke me up a little.

I am not at all disappointed with how I finished off this game. Obviously, I came here with the intention of going as far as I could and eventually winning the thing.

But this is All-Star and I think anyone was susceptible to being vulnerable and voted off at any time. We all know each other. It's going to be cutthroat. You can't trust anybody. I honestly packed to prepare to be voted off the first day then spending the next 38 days hanging out. So I think anybody who wasn't prepared to be voted off, that's just foolish.

The only this is that you actually know the people. You have a tendency to trust. You tell yourself not to. You know you can't. But because you know people, you want to.

Not the smartest thing to do. You find yourself in a bad situation and everybody's turned on you. And there is nothing you can do about it. Which is exactly what happened to me.

I thought we all had a plan, we were together on it. I thought Rupert was going to be voted off instead off me. And that wasn't the case.

I obviously didn't see all the votes, so I don't know if anyone else voted for Rupert (THEY DIDN'T).

But, I was surprised. Not happy about it. No one's happy about getting voted off. It sucks. But that's the game. It stings for a minute and then you get over it.

I think the sweet justice in all of this is that there won't be a winner without my input. So I ultimately will have a position of power again. And the people who turned on me should really be thinking about that right now. Because my decision as to who's going to win is part of who wins. You can't turn on somebody and think they'll vote to have you win a million dollars.

It's going to be very interesting to see who the final 2 are. Because I have an ax to grind.

CUT

I think that for somebody like me and my personality I like to be both physically and mentally prepared for things.

And I was not prepared to see my name that final vote that got me voted off. I was not prepared. It took me completely off guard, and I don’t think that anyone wants that to happen.

In this game, a lot of times, if you're the next one to go, you know it.

The first time, in Australia, I knew I was going. When I got voted out, I knew. So I was able to come to terms with it before the votes were read. I knew when I got up and hugged everybody, I was fine with it.

But I wasn't prepared for it this time. So I had to, in an instant, deal with it and walk out.

The last thing I was going to do was hug everybody and kiss everybody and say good-bye.

I mean, they can kiss my as* on that deal. That's not going to happen.

But I wasn't mean to them either. That's the way the game is played. If you don't win, eventually you're going to be voted out. And that stings, there's no doubt about it.

So I wasn't going to be a sore loser, but I wasn't going to hug and kiss people on the way out.

So yeah, I was pretty pi*sed off.

But this is a game, and that's what it boils down to: What are you willing to do for money.

The first time, I realized a lot about myself. And I realized that I am not willing to change who I am for any amount of money at all. I'm just not willing to do it.

It takes a long time to become comfortable with yourself in life, and once you get there, you're not going to change. Why bother?

So this time around, the same thing came into play. I wasn’t going to turn into the person to stroke everyone's ego just to get myself that much further -- kiss someone's as* to get that much further.

It wasn't going to happen.

And I knew at the beginning, it appeared that that was going to be one of the factors I was going to have to get into if I wanted to stay around until the end.

And I struggled with that from day 1. So there was no way I was going to get that done.

So I was pis*ed for a minute. Hurt for a second. And then you just get on with it.

And I'm still playing this game. I'm on the jury. There will not be a winner without my input. I'm still in a position of power here. Everything that what said and done to me in this game will come into play.

Everything you put out in the universe will come back to you. And things that went on the past two days will come back to the final 2.

CUT

You try to do the best you can, just get through day-by-day with all the physical discomfort and demands.

But you can't let it distract you from why you are there. You're not there just to get past all the, ya know, problems with being outside and sleeping in the rain. You're there to be strategic and constantly thinking.

Looking over your shoulder and that's the hardest thing about Survivor. Because it's very little to do with the environment and a whole lot to do with emotions and the mental aspects of the game. And you can never lose sight of that. And I think for some people it's more difficult than others. It's a constant battle. You have to make sure you never lose focus. And the moment you lose focus, you just may be going home. You can never tell.

WHEW! OK ... I AM TIRED NOW