It's a Lady Extravagansa!
Lady T muttering: I can’t believe that damn AK. Sending me to San Francisco when I could be meeting Mike Booger and his cousin Vanilla Ice. At least this will be done in some ritzy restaurant in the San Francisco area, with the Golden Gate Bridge as a backdrop. Hmmm, wonder if this may turn into a permanent gig.
Lady T spies a beautiful Red Lady and walks over to join her.
Lady T: Hi! Thanks for agreeing to be interviewed. I have Webby’s credit card, so order whatever you want! Drinks are on him! I am kinda hungry and I am going to order the most expensive stuff on the menu. Do you like Scallops wrapped in bacon?
Red Lady: I do, and they have a great chardonnay here.
LadyT: Sounds great! Seriously, order what you want, the sky’s the limit. Shall me get down to business?
What brought you to Webby’s House of Fun?
Red Lady: I have been a RealityTV junkie since S1. I have watched every reality TV show offered from Temptation Island to The Mole. Highbrow reality TV to lowbrow reality TV.
Lady T: There’s a difference?
Red Lady: The Mole and Survivor fall into my "highbrow" category, while Temptation Island, Big Brother and Love Cruise are the "lowbrow" shows I love to hate!
Lady T: I came from that “other” site, so I learned to hate them all. Slaps head T, this is not about you! Sorry Red Lady, I tend to think that the world revolves around me. Please, keep going…
Red Lady: I was not internet connected until November 2001 when I bought a laptop. I was watching the repeat showing of The Mole (after being previosuly cancelled) and when ABC encouraged all viewers to log on to their web site, I did. I then typed "FindtheMole" in a google search, and that is how I found these boards! Since the internet is new to me (outside of work), I felt like a babe in a world of titans! I really didn't have a clue! I didn't know what a thread was (for sewing, perhaps?) or what acroynms stood for. FOMO made no sense...ROTFLMAO...took me awhile...even j/k was lost on these naive eyes! But thanks to the gentle kindness of other posters here, I soon began to understand the abbreviated language, symbols, and the lay of the land! (Special thanks to: BeBo, Jims02, and EBug for encouraging me along!)
Lady T: How did you end up on OT? I hope you know that it does house some criminally insane people.
Red Lady: I began posting in The Mole forum around the 2nd episode. I was completely unaware of the other forums until SherpaDave invited The Mole posters to The StoryBoard Competition site. As a wanna-be writer, I was intrigued and checked it out. I was surprised to find so many Mole posters over on SB! So much talent among the peeps here! Again, I taxed nerves by asking lots of basic questions which Dave patiently answered. From Story Board, I found "Off-Topic" and the rest, as they say, is history! At first I felt like a bit of a voyeur in that the posts were so personal and heart-felt! I thought perhaps I had crashed a party I wasn't invited to! But soon enough peeps started responding to me which, in turn, encouraged me to continue posting and even start a thread or two of my own!
Lady T: How did you get your name?
Red Lady: In my college days (a long, long, time ago!!) my best friend and I enrolled in a college course, "The History of Movies". During one of the lectures, our teacher talked about a low-budget film that was a cult classic and had made millions of dollars. The movie was, "Pink Flamingos", by John Waters. The teacher went on to explain that the movie was disgusting, trashy and tasteless and that she could not recommend it for viewing; my girlfriend and I knew we just had to go see it!! Fortunately, Pink Flamingos played every Friday night at midnight near our college campus. We were obviously a little nervous, but nonetheless gutsy enough to go through with our plan! We stopped at a liquor store and bought a large bottle of Red Lady 21 wine! It comes in a screw top and is 21 proof!! We cut it w/ 7-up and toasted with our "Sangrias"! After achieving maximum velocity w/ the Red Lady, we sat back to watch a truly perverted, disgusting & tasteless movie! WE LOVED IT!! We were repulsed by it! We went back the next week with our boyfriends who were so shocked, they wondered how we could possibly sit through the movie twice!! I have been a Divine fan and a John Waters devotee ever since! My girlfriend and I started calling ourselves "the red ladies" and 25 years later, the moniker sticks
Lady T: You are also becoming a regular bar member, how did you find the bar & what makes you come back?
Red Lady: Sheila turned me on to the bar when she posted "The Bar is Open" on OT. I was completely naive as to what she meant. Then I read further in the post about "chat talk" and "AK's Bar & Grill"...so I finally put two & two together and clicked open "live chats", signed on and pulled up a stool! Care for another glass of Chard, LadyT? Yours looks like it could use refreshing!
Lady T, of course, now what makes you come back to the bar?
Red Lady: I like getting to know the indivdual posters better. And I like for others to know me better as well!
Lady T, Partly the reason we are here today. Now we all have funny times in the bar, what has been yours?
Red Lady: A lot of times, after I have departed the bar, I find myself swaying and staggering, and in the morning I have quite a hangover! I try to remember, "Gawd, what did I say last night? Did I embarrass myself?!" It's really no different than any other bar experience in that way! "Man, I can't believe I let Sleeeve buy me another round" That kind of thing! Although I will say, my chats with RedHotLadyT have definitely been among my funniest!! Without sucking up too much, Trish...I DO REALLY LIKE YOU and find you to be HILARIOUS (if not uber-b*tchy)!!
Lady T smiles at the level of kiss assness
Lady T: I think that’s why I like doing these, everyone loves me! It makes me think that the world really does revolve around me! So, tell us, are you living a life like Carrie Bradshaw or are you living like Donna Reed?
Red Lady: Well, I am an older poster at 44, which explains my computer illiteracy somewhat! I am happily married for the past 7 years to my 2nd husband. We have no children together, but he has two sons (18 & 15) from his 1st marriage and I have 16-yr old boy/girl twins from my first marriage. So our house is overflowing with loud, crazy teenagers right now! They eat us out of house & home!! One good thing about the teens in our house, though...they know their computers! So any time I have really been stumped, they have come to my rescue (rolling their eyes, "geez mom, this is sooo easy...you don't know that?!") I have to bribe my kids with pizza to get any technical questions answered though!
I worked in the corporate world of banking for 28 yrs. I resigned last year as Vice President and Branch Manager of the 3rd largest bank in Calif. I loved my career but not the 90-hour work weeks! I was stressed to the point of breakdown; banks continue to cut expenses by reducing staff which just puts alot of pressure on those left behind to take up the slack! After nearly 30 yrs, the thrill was gone! I had succeeded in my career goals and I was now bored and frustrated. So I quit and am now a homemaker and regular poster!
Lady T: I don't blame you! Besides posting here and trying to discover the mole, what else do you do?
Red Lady: Before I discovered the wonders of the internet, I was a reading fool! I read probably 2 books per week. Posting to the different threads, has eaten up my reading time though! I am still finishing ShoGun which I started a month ago!! All you peeps are to blame!!
Lady T: Whatever!
Red Lady: I also am into gardening, walking, thrift shopping, and napping! Now that I no longer work outside the home, I can stay up late (in AK's Bar, of course) sleep in and catnap when I feel like it!! I believe I was a cat in a prior life for all the napping I enjoy. (Warning...stay away from RedLady when she has not had her nap! Talk about Uber B*tch!)
Lady T giggles and mentally thanks Bebo for making it an acceptable practice.
Red Lady: My free time is actually nicely carved into by my teenagers, who have driver's permits but no licenses' yet. Therefore, it is a constant request for "Mom's Taxi Service" and comes with no gratuity I might add! (Although, "thanks, I love you Mom" does help!) I am also a huge music and movie fan and I like Neil Young, Cracker, Lucinda Williams, Red Hot Chili
Limp Bizkit, X, Jane's Addiction, Richard Thompson, Stevie Ray
could go on and on...you would not believe my music collection! When
and I split up, the hardest part was dividing up our record/CD
Independent movies are my favorite and living in the Bay Area provides
opportunities to catch these movies on the big screen instead of a
rental. Among my more "mainstream" favorites are: John Waters
David Lynch, Quentin Taratino, Robert Altman, the Coen Brothers, and
Lady T: Speaking of music, describe your theme song:
Red Lady: I am a huge Neil Young fan...so it would definitely have to be
of his...three of his songs immediately leap to mind: Cinnamon Girl,
Cowgirls in the Sand, or Tonight's the Night.
Lady T: Now comes the part that you all love I am sure. Waiter! Another bottle! And charge it to that man over there in the turban, I think his name is AyaK. But don’t tell him about it until I leave, ok? Who are your favorite posters?
Red Lady: I like Katem's approach to dividing "olbies" from "newbies"
Olbies: Bebo, EBug, Femme, KATEM, Survivoreist, T-Bear, who have welcomed and encourgaed me and have been very supportive.
(notice my alphabetical order!!) RedHotLadyT, I have also loved your posts, but it took me awhile to catch your attention!
Lady T laughes:Yeah well, real life interfered and I had to go see Vanilla Ice in concert.
Red LadyThe Newbies: Jims02, KyngsLadye, PackMan & Sophie, came on OT around the same time as me, so I feel a natural kin-ship towards them!
(plus KyngsLADYE is as much of a Lady as you and me, T!)
Lady T: I know it! Now, we all have crushes on people, not that we would act on them. I myself have a crush on posters who’s names begins with S. I swear! It’s evil! Now, who do you have a crush on?
Red Lady: Because I am such an old bird who is safely married and no threat...I will confess my crush on SherpaDave and his mysterious green eyes! RedLady just perks up and her heart goes a flutter when Dave posts! *sigh* *swoon* "Read me Dave" (laughs!)
But I also have a crush on KATEM (big time) and Jims02. Katem, because gosh darn-it, he is just so sweet and nice! Ok, and funny too! (And did I mention cute?) Jims because I have felt "connected" to him since he took the time to answer my dumb-ass questions without mocking me on The Mole (I think I was at a 5 DAW level then)! I loved Jims' Mole comments the best, his mole quotes are classic, and I am just glad Jims02 has finally found his way to post on OT!! *smooches* to all my male sweethearts!
Lady T: Hehehe, I have such a soft spot for katem now. I have a crush on him and Jizzy and….oh I have to stop, this interview is not about me! So, if you could have an affair with any reality TV contestant on any show without fear of getting caught, who would it be?
Red Lady: Well, first of all I would like to go on record for saying RED LADY NEVER WOULD CHEAT ON HER WONDERFUL, HANDSOME, KIND & GENEROUS HUSBAND! (My first husband cheated on me, and I could never do that to another human being! I am NO Chi-Whora!) Anyway, because I know this is truly a hypothetical question, I will answer it...Will because he is such a good bad boy! He admits he is insincere from the get-go, so he wouldn't let me down when he left me or cheated on me! Also, I believe he would be a tiger under the covers! The fact that he is handsome and buff doesn't hurt either ; ). Jason, to me, is the most attractive contestant, but he would be jail-bait for this bird, I'm afraid! Plus...I wouldn't want to have an affair with a man who sincerely wants to save himself for "the one"!
Lady T: Woohoo! My heart still belongs to Will. Anyway, I have to run. I kind of lied, and I stole AyaK’s credit card too, and I see him coming and he looks kinda mad. I just want to say, it’s been lovely chatting to you. I am glad we all have had this opportunity to get to know you better. Take care Red Lady!
Stay tuned for the next edition of T time when we sit down with Femme.
Lady T-mean Uber b!tch