LAST EDITED ON 04-02-04 AT 05:50 AM (EST)

WITCH WAY TO LOSER LODGE?
Welcome to Survivor Insider where if you watch over me, I'll watch over you. And if you screw me, you'll be swimming with the fishes.

A FEW NOTES:

1) Yes, it's episode 9 as far as I am concerned, because it's boot nine.

2) All archives of the Insider are available at Survivor Network www.londyscreations.com/survivornetwork/
Thanks to Larry Londy for the web space.

3) If you want just the transcript, SurvivorFever.net posts it, minus hilarious commentary, in a few days.

4) Thanks to all those who support me in this thread. It takes about 2-3 hours to do a transcript, and I enjoy the comments, good or bad. Remember, I do this FOR FUN. Though, if you diss me, I will come after you like Tom the fisherman (and you're the goldfish)!

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TRIBAL COUNCIL VOTING
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Markopolo's note: WOW. Great votes tonight. Kathy and Lex are DEEP in an alliance. Shii Ann is definitely the third wheel. And Kathy's vote tells us that. (see her comments about RobFather, too). I really was taken aback by their strategy. I personally don't think they would have kept Amber had Rob not made that statement to Lex. But, since the tribes merge next week, I guess it was worth the gamble.

Jerri (votes Amber): True irony and a lot of respect, Amber. I'm very proud of the way you're playing this game. And um, I'm glad we got to play together, even for a little while. So, if it's you that goes home tonight, you did go down fighting and I'm really proud of you. And if it's me, then get out there and kick some #####! Take some names. Make me even more proud (smiles and cries a bit).

Markopolo's note: That was so sweet. I think I am going to cry!

Lex (votes Jerri): (Takes two deep breaths before voting). This is by far the most difficult vote I've cast. And it breaks my heart to do it. I hope you know it really is purely strategic. There's just one thing I want to say. I wish everyone in the world, could see the way I know you. I'm proud to call you a friend. I love you.

Markopolo's note: (TEARS).

Amber (votes Jerri): Three years has done you no good. You're still a bit*h. My vote is for Jerri.

OK OK APRIL FOOLS. HERE'S THE REAL VOTE:

Amber (votes Jerri): It's crazy that it's come down to me voting you out to keep myself in this game (SHOT OF LEX LOOKING SAD BEHIND JERRI'S SHOULDER). I owe you huge thanks for that. Go get yourself some chocolate, girl. Love ya.

Shii Ann (votes Jerri): (SERIOUS LOOK) Jerri, I'm glad you had your epiphany. I'm sorry I have to do this to you, but strategically it's a better (for us? HARD TO HEAR). Plus, if you only worked a little bit harder at camp, maybe you wouldn't be in this predicament right now.

Kathy (votes Jeri): Jerri, if we had only talked. I really wanted players to come and talk to me. If they didn't come and talk to me, I didn't trust them. So we probably have a whole lot of similarities that we should have realized. But you know what? The bottom line is this is a strategic move. We're throwing Amber back to Rob as a bone. And I know Rob Mariano, he works for favors. And now we have a favor. And it'll just advance Lex and me a little farther. I'm sorry. Buh bye.

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Jerri's Strategy
4 min : 51 sec
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Clip description: Watch as Jerri worries about Amber's tribal loyalty. What is her new strategy as the game pushes forward? Find out now!

Markopolo's note: WOW! The BEST clip of the week! Jerri talks about a lot of interesting things.

1) How Amber is really playing the game (AND I ACTUALLY BELIEVE IT).

2) How Lex is counting on Big Tom to be his ally at the merge

Jerri (confessional): Since Amber has been at the new Chapera, I notice that she is incredibly protective of information regarding relations that have formed among the old Chapera, the new Mogo Mogo. She hasn't been forthcoming about much of anything regarding people's relationships. Certainly not alliances, that's the type of information you want to keep to yourself.

She did share some stories about Alicia being all bent out of shape about that barrel challenge. Even though they won, which I found interesting. And I definitely took note of that because anytime someone gripes about somebody else on their team; those are moments when they took a mental note of that person's behavior. But other than that, really have gotten absolutely nothing out of Amber.

CUT

The fact that Amber hasn't shared much information with us can be looked at in two different ways. It can be looked at as good gamesmanship because we still didn't know what was going to happen in the future. And to walk into a merge situation would have put her at risk of being ostracized by her old group. But, on the other hand, now because of her vulnerable position and we're going to tribal council and she's the only old Chapera left It seems she would want to give up something to save her own butt at this point.

But if she goes out of the game with all of her information and we're left in the complete dark and we're kind of left standing here with nowhere to go. I dunno. It can be interpreted two different ways. I don't know.

CUT

Tonight's tribal council, if it goes as planned -- and I always go to tribal council completely paranoid that it could always be flopped around and I could be being lied to. And it could be me. And I'm always, always away of that.

But if things go the way they're supposed to, Amber will be voted out tonight. And the way we've all discussed it, we're taking out a Chaperan. We're whittling down the odds. It will be 5 against 4 instead of 6 against 4. And uh, it's a necessary vote. Especially if she is as tight with Boston Rob as we think she is. The look on his face today when they won. It looked like he really wanted to throw that challenge so he knew Amber would still be around. I think there's definitely a strong bond between the two of them. And Rob's hurting. His strongest, most trusting ally is about to disappear. So if things go the way they're supposed to go, Amber won't be coming back with us and it will be the four original Mogo Mogos.

CUT

I definitely feel that voting off Amber tonight puts me in the best position for future gameplay. I've got a very strong bond with Lex. Now that I know Big Tom and him are really banking on their friendship and their trust in each other, I know that I am going into a merge situation with those people on my side puts me in a better position to make it long in this game.

I really, truly believe that. SO right now I am just kind of following Lex's lead and trusting him.

I know that the members of the old Chapera probably look at me as someone they want to get rid of soon in the game. Again that could just be me being paranoid. But I just have this feeling that there is enough of them, including Jenna and Rupert, who I've already dealt with. Enough of them see me as someone they just want to get rid of.

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DAY IN THE LIFE OF JERRI
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Back by popular demand!

-- Get up out of bed in West Hollywood studio apartment.
-- Watch out! Don’t step on the roaches!
-- Call agent. After he hangs up three times in a row, stop trying.
-- Start computer. Let out deep sigh as background of Colby naked appears.
-- Logon to Survivor Fever. Oh look! A reality contestant get-together next week at the Iowa City Motel 8!
-- Check latest sales figures of Playboy issue. Wow, 25 sold! And that abstinence program bought 12 of them!
-- Check out “desperate-to-date.com” Look at Markopolo’s profile. What a loser!
-- Order some beef jerky. Mail in care of Kel Gleason, 222 You Suck Street.
-- Go to kitchen. Smash roach. Create chocolate soufflé in shape of Colby’s man prize. Mmmmmn.
-- Go to sketch comedy group called “Blow Girl!” (No seriously, she really is in a group called that. Check the CBS site!).
-- “Blow it” big time. (And no, not like the last 20 auditions)
-- Time to waitress at Denny’s. Oh look! Depressed Ben Affleck is here in his extra large jumpsuit. “Bacon and eggs, Ben? Sorry, but J-Lo’s ##### doesn’t look good on you.”
-- Badger cook about proper way to make rice.
-- Be a b**ch to the OC kids at their table. That Marissa is such a dumb whore. Give her a dirty look.
-- Collect tips. $3.40. That should buy a half-tank of gas AND a Gigli DVD!
-- Person stops you on way to car. After four different versions of “you’re a b**ch” (in Spanish and English of course), walk away.
-- Go home. Watch Apprentice. “Wow, that Omarosa woman is great. We have so much in common!”
-- Time to call Colby. When he answers his phone, quickly hang up. Giggle!
-- Phone Heidi Strobel. Ask her if she was able to pass that urine test she was worried about.
-- Time for bed. Put on blue bikini and dream of the Colbster.
-- Sleep tight. Another day of Surreal Life.

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JERRI, DAY-AFTER
5 min, 26 sec
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Markopolo’s note: Jerri just goes on this big rant about the episode 3 storm and how she wanted to quit. Luckily, my intense sarcasm kept me through almost six excruciating minutes of her details.

Jerri (day-after): The day that we were given the reward challenge to build the shelter was the day of Saboga's crack became very apparent. (I THOUGHT SABOGA'S CRACK WAS RUPERT BENDING DOWN INSIDE THE SHELTER?)

That was the night of the storm. The worst storm that we had had out here yet. And I remember distinctly being in the shelter and lying on one of the wooden slabs trying to sleep. And Rupert stuck his ankle out on the side he was sleeping on to find ankle-deep water. And he expressed his concern about ankle-deep water. And I heard in his voice something a bit more panicked. Because in literally less than a minute, the water had gone up to his knees and we were now basically floating inside the shelter. (YOU GUYS SHOULD HAVE TOLD THAT CONTRACTER RAFFIDUDE THAT IT WAS A JACUZZI!). I was completely thrown off because this was very scary to me. The lightning was crashing around us; the thunder was so loud it was shaking the ground.

(WHY IS JERRI SO WORRIED? SILICONE FLOATS DOESN'T IT?)

The rain was just pouring down worse then it had ever poured. All of a sudden everyone scrambled behind me. And we ran into the woods and found a small place under the tree (OH GOOD, GO UNDER A TREE). Where the water was just a little bit less, and huddled together head to head as close as we could just shivering and shaking. And I felt myself go into panic mode. And I experience that before in my life when I was in a bus accident (YOU REPLACED SANDRA BULLOCK IN SPEED 3?).

I was in shock. Because you can't believe what was going on actually was going on. I kept thinking that there would be someone who would show up and save us. Like some emergency people would come and scoop us out of this beach that was slowly washing away into the ocean. (THEY USE HEIDI STROBEL'S BOOBS AS A LIVESAVER). And we were all afraid we were going to get hyperthermia. We were all telling stories and keep rubbing each other. (SURVIVOR ORGY).

And just shivering for six or seven hours. We shivered in the cold. At one point we moved to another tree where the mud wasn't as slick (MUD WRESTLING, TOO?).

It was just pouring down the side of the hill. And we just sat on the Home Depot box, the four of us trying to get as close to each other as we could to retain some body heat. (JUST IMAGINE RUBBING UP AGAINST SMELLY RUPERT. MMMMM, HUH JERRI?!).

Again we were probably there another three hours. At this point we were all shivering just uncontrollably. As the sun came up, Rupert Jenna and Ethan got up and walked out on the beach, and I sat on that Home Dept box completely annihilated. I couldn't stop shivering. I was sobbing hysterically. And I completely lost it.

I felt my mind go to a place (IT OBVIOUSLY HASN'T BEEN IN YOUR HEAD FOR A WHILE) where I was questioning why the hell I was out there. What was I thinking getting involved in this game again?

I felt myself go to a place where I actually thought about walking out and quitting.

(WOW, THAT WOULD HAVE MADE TWO QUITTERS IN EPISODE 3!)

And you don't understand, I don't quit anything. In my life, there's nothing that I have ever quit at. It's not even an option once I make a decision. So to have that thought cross my mind, really tested me. And I was so close to just walking away. But I didn't.

Somehow I pulled myself out of this state I was in. Completely by myself, no one was there helping me. None of my tribemates came to my rescue. Offered me any some of support. If someone had just come up and given me a hug and made sure I wasn't there alone suffering, I might have been able to snap out of it faster.

But I had to do it myself, and it's because of that that I realized that I couldn't walk away. I couldn’t give up. I would never be able to live with myself.

So I pulled myself up off that box (DIRTY THOUGHTS), got to work, and the day started warming up and the sun came out, and Jenna said, "Jerri you just have to remember that it will always get better."

Because you know, after that night, it could not have gotten worse. I went to the deepest, darkest place I've ever been in my mind. (BESIDES THAT TIME I THOUGHT ABOUT A COLBY-AMBER THREESOME). The fact that I experienced that and pulled myself out of that has completely changed my life.

It's the biggest thing I am taking with me out of this game. I know under incredibly terrible situations I can survive. I can pull myself out of the near-desperation I was feeling. I'll never forget that. I never want to experience that again, but I'll never forget that. Worst night of my life, bar none.

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Rupert's Concern
3 min : 27 sec
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Clip description: Having lost Amber to the other tribe, Rupert voices his concern about the latest twist in the game.

Markopolo's note: Rupert hints that they wanted it to "take it easy" on the other tribe. He also blantantly thought MB wouldn't do a strength challenge because of the strength difference between the tribes. Finally, he has a "WOW" quote in the clip.

Rupert: "Rob and Amber, I still say, but the time this is over, Rob and Amber are going to have an announcement."

SO, WHAT IS ROB AND AMBER'S BIG ANNOUNCEMENT?

A) We're getting married, then going on Temptation Island to screw other people.

B) We finally figured out if Orange was a man's color or a woman's color.

C) We're going to do it! We're getting Survivor Sucks user names!

D) Rob will likely be disappearing after the EPT test.

E) The sex was better with the monkey around.

Rupert (confessional in front of platform with immunity idol around it): We knew today that with the new Chapera that it wasn't going to be a strength challenge. With four women and one man, you can't do a strength challenge, cuz we would dominate them.

It was Survivor trivia, which we showed them, by the skin of our teeth, that we were smarter (WELL, NOT BIG TOM). We got one extra answer. We beat them in the tiebreaker.

CUT

When we brought it home, the first thing I need was make it a platform, make it a place of honor. And then nailed it to it. It's not going to move. That's where it belongs. When we were at Chapera it came to Chapera. Now that we're "MOJO MOJO" it comes to MOJO MOJO (GUESS RUPERT IS AS MUCH THE SPEECH EXPERT AS TOM THE GEOGRAPHY EXPERT)

It's staying with us (EVIL LOOK).

CUT

Our win today was a bittersweet win. We are hoping and praying that Amber can do some finagling do some conniving. Play the game to where she can maybe stay.

If they're at all thinking, they are putting Amber off today. It's not fair to Amber, it's not fair to us; it's not fair. It's the game. We were going to weak on them so one of us goes. Hopefully, hopefully, Amber will stay.

We pretty much know that our former Chapera tribe is down to five. We were six before, but we're still one up on a Chapera. We are five strong with MOJO MOJO.

Cut

When we were at the challenge we all decided not to try and talk to Amber too much. Not to show that we were still solid with Amber. To let her kind of be. If she had made some sort of alliance progress of a girl alliance, any sort of progress over there. Try and leave her to them. Now, we all wanted to, but the way the game is played, you know there is some scheming and conniving there is some gamesmanship, hopefully Amber can do that.

We want to her be able make it through this tribal council.

CUT

When we won today, the person on the MOJO MOJO tribe who it hurts most is Rob.

Rob and Amber, I still say, but the time this is over, Rob and Amber are going to have an announcement. (WOW!!!!!)

It's a little hard now, but I look for those two to make a connection. They've already started making that connection out here. It's nice to see two young people kind of making a bond, even in the middle of this crazy adventure, it's nice to see that bond being formed. When Amber was taken away from us, it hurt Rob the most. And now when we win, it hurts him even more.

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Alicia & Kathy Picnic
2 min : 25 sec
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Markopolo’s note: Ha ha! Kathy makes fun of Colby. The tribal differences are exposed in the next two clips

(ALICIA WALKING AHEAD OF KATHY)

Kathy: Does this look good right here? It's a little nook.

Alicia: Oh my god, it's perfect.

(THEY SETTLE IN AND UNWRAP PACKAGE)

Alicia: It's probably a dead fish.

Kathy: Oh, it's one of those boxes again.

(KATHY OPENS BOX)

Kathy: Cmon baby gal.

Kathy and Alicia: OHHHHHHHHHHH! (NO, YOU DIRTY MINDS...NOT THAT TYPER OF OHHHHHH!)

Alicia (points to fruit): What is that?

Kathy: I don't care! It's good!

(THEY START EATING)

Kathy: I think they are going to bring us wine, I can feel it.

(LAUGHTER)

Alicia: Maybe they're waiting for all of us to get together.

Kathy: Shouldn't they bring us some sort of beverage. We need some sort of beverages. (UHH IS KATHY A, YOU KNOW, CHUGGA CHUGGA?)

Alicia: I know!

(THEY EAT MORE)

Kathy: Don't you think it's peculiar that we didn't paint ourselves.

Alicia: Yeah!? Why didn't you?

Kathy: I don't know.

Alicia: You didn't want to?

Kathy: Yeah, it's like a solemn tribe. So solemn.

Alicia: You know what, you guys walked up so slowly. And (I said?) they're walking so slow.

Kathy: Yeah, it's all upstairs. I mean it's been really hard.

Alicia: Do you think we're going to merge? It would give everyone a shot of adrenaline.

Kathy: Yeah, but if you really analyze who's over there and who's with us. It's kind of like that, you know? There's no big personality like Big Tom, right?

Alicia: Right, right.

Kathy: And there isn't the silly fun girls giggling. I mean it's fun to watch them (MEANING JENNA AND AMBER). And then you got Boston Rob, who's just a crack up.

Alicia: Mmm hmm. You're right.

Kathy: So you've got Lex.

Alicia: Lex is fun though. He's fun at times. Is he the only one really?

Kathy: Yeah but he needs somebody too that's a big character, yet funny with. He's not just an instigator.

Alicia: I know Ethan wasn't.

Kathy: Nuh uh. You know Hatch was fun, because Hatch is like a ??? personality. So we were laughing and having all that fun stuff. And then when he was gone. And Colby was around, what a moody son of a gun he was.

Alicia: I can't believe that.

Kathy: Oh!

Alicia: He's usually fun and...

Kathy: And that's what I thought, but he was always second-guessing himself out here. Until we got to challenges.

Alicia: Is that right?

Kathy: He would walk off for an hour, come back, and go eh. Wouldn't even talk to us. Weird huh?

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Amber & Jenna's Picnic
3 min : 04 sec
---------------------
Clip description: Watch Amber and Jenna enjoy their private time together while having a picnic on the rocks.

Markopolo’s note: Boy, these two girls give Heidi and Jenna a run for their money in the intelligent conversation department.

Amber: Oh my god there's CHEEEEEEEZEEEE! (YELLS OUT WITH LOUDEST SCREECH SINCE SAVED BY THE BELL)

(LAUGHTER)

Jenna: I love cheese and crackers. It's like my favorite. Brie, is this Brie?

Amber: This is fantastic.

(EAT, MUNCH MUNCH)

Amber: What is that?

Jenna: Dried apple

Amber: Really?

Amber: Great

Jenna: This is so nice. Do you like the top? (Cuts apple)

Amber: I like everything (OH, WE KNOW YOU DO!)

(EAT, MUNCH MUNCH)

Amber: Don't you think it's weird how we painted ourself and they didn’t? They're very not relaxed and we are. We were having fun and they were thinking, oh no, maybe we're supposed to save it.

Jenna: I mean even if we weren't ahead we would still be relaxed.

Amber: mhm hmm

Amber: Their anticipating something like ...

Jenna: Yeah, I know. What's this, a mango?

Amber: We didn't even think twice about it.

Jenna: Yeah as soon as we saw it, we said let's paint. There was never an option. Why else would they give us paint?

Amber: I think it's stupid. Like why didn't they have fun with it?

Jenna: They're not even having fun. A couple of weeks ago they come and (imitating Mogo Mogo) Oh we're all happy. Now, it just sucks. Did you just move?

Amber: Yeah I wonder if everyone was Ok with the decision about the paint, cuz I would've been pissed if we didn't paint.

Amber: I wonder what everyone is talking about?

Jenna: How the game is on everyone's prospective sides. If it's all an act. If we're really that happy?

Amber: What's our camp like.

Jenna: Yeah.

Amber: It's really weird that they didn't paint

Jenna: It is really.

(AMBER KEEPS GOING ON ABOUT PAINT)

(ROB, GET AMBER SOME FINGER PAINTS AND SHE IS SET FOR LIFE!)

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Jerri's Final Words
2 min : 51 sec
---------------------

I asked myself that so many times a day: "Why, why, why would I want to put myself throught this again?" There were quite a few times when I almost talked myself out of being here. It was a thousand times harder this time around than the first time. I kind of knew going into it that it was going to be tough, but I had no idea that it was going to nearly break my spirit. That was the hardest thing I think I've ever had to face: coming this close to having something break me. But it didn't. It didn't, it didn't, it didn't. I stood up to the challenge, and I pushed myself through some pretty horrendous moments out here, and for that, I'm so proud of myself. I look forward to my family watching this. I know they're going to be mortified, horrified and, in the end, hopefully even more proud of me than they already are.

Why did I do it again? I guess because either I'm a closet sadist, or I just really enjoy taking risks and having adventures and doing things I've never done before and seeing how far I can push myself and finding my own limitations.

I am walking away from this experience feeling like there is nothing that can break me. I know life is going to present a lot of difficult situations for me to deal with, but at least I know I have the strength to get through it. In that, I find a whole new sense of comfort. So I feel really good about the way I came into this, I feel great about the way I played the game, and I feel equally as good about the way I exited.

You know what? I was very surprised at the fact that I even considered, for a brief moment, giving up. I was ready to roll over and play dead at one point. That really surprised me. I didn't think that that sort of idea could even cross my mind. The fact that I didn't let the idea take hold of my present experience makes me feel really good about myself and makes me feel good that I did this again. I walk away a stronger woman than I did coming into it.