LAST EDITED ON 08-09-04 AT 02:49 PM (EST)

Hey everyone! I meant to have this up before last night, but I got a little behind. I hope you enjoy it though!

Big Brother 5 Episode 13 Summary: "Project DNA: Discovering Natalie & Adria"

This week, on Big Brother 5:
-Diane became the first woman to win Head of Household.
-She nominates Jase and Scott.
-Jase wins the Golden Veto, saves himself, and Marvin goes up in his place.

OK, let's move on to what we were all waiting for. We've sat through a lot of lousy Big Brother. We watched the Belly Bunch, featuring Mike Boogie in BB2. We had to see Gerry jump into a pool of jello-slime in BB3. Last year, we sat through an entire season of Alison and Jun. I'm not even going to mention the first season.

So, after 5 weeks of hype, we finally get to see the infamous Twin Twist revealed.

Twin-less Julie Chen (thankfully) plastically informs us of Project DNA, which astutely means "Do Not Assume." This week, because Adria and Natalie (or Adralie) have made it 5 weeks undetected, both of them get to play the game as individuals.

But first, a little misdirection. We cut to Marvin watching Scott in the hot tub. Scott thinks it's pretty crazy that one of them will be out of the house. Marvin agrees and notes that one of their pictures will be black and white next week.

Later, Scott realizes that all he needs is one vote to save him. Piece of cake. Especially with so many sheep in the house, just waiting to be ordered around by Scott.

Luckily for the genius, Adralie is waffling between keeping Scott or Marvin. She also says she's tired of everyone telling her that she owes them something because they voted stupidly last week.

Meanwhile...
Jase: "Adria totally owes you."
Scott: "I saved her a$$"
Jase: "Exactly. She'll listen to you."
Scott: "I saved her a$$."
Cowboy: "You saved her what?"
Scott: "I saved her a$$."
Jase: "Let's go tell her. Cowboy, go fetch Adria."
Scott: (whispering to Drew proudly) "I saved her a$$."

Like a good sheep, Cowboy escorts Adralie to the bathroom. Jase and Scott begin interrogating her:

Jase: "We want to know if you're gonna stay loyal, because we helped you last week."
Adralie: "I just don't know what to do."
Scott: (confused) "I saved your a$$."

Diane, worried about this peer pressure, casually walks into the bathroom area. She and Jase begin to argue, and Adralie freaks out. She screams something unintelligible and runs from the room. Later, in a confessional, Adralie tells us that she doesn't know who to vote for. Darn flip-flopper. This girl's gonna spend 3 hours in the voting booth come November.

*cue tension shots of all the houseguests*

Next on the agenda: Julie interviews the houseguests. Frankly, we're just waiting for the twist and eviction, so I'll be brief.
1. Will quit the HOH competition because he knew Diane and Jase weren't going anywhere soon.
2. Jase is not certifiably insane; he merely enjoys repulsing the other houseguests.
3. Adralie's glad to be in the house this week.
4. Karen, a married women, only has secret bedtime trysts with "the girls or the gay guy." That should keep her husband more reassured.

Cut to the confessional voting! Jase talks about how he likes Marvin more than Scott. Everyone else pretends like they're not sure who to vote off, but let's just skip the baloney this week.

Jase/Cowboy: "I vote to evict Marvin."
Nik/Karen: "I vote to evict Scott."

Big Brother Scoreboard
Scott: 2
Marvin: 2
Nader: 1
Suspense: 0

After the commercial break, we're treated to Diane and Drew montage. I'll keep this stuff brief too.
-Ben (Drew) says he and Drew (Ben) are so much alike.
-Lindsey (good, happy twin) says she and Diane (evil, sulky twin) are opposites.
-A bunch of sappy Drew and Diane romance clips.
-Lindsey (good, happy twin) thinks that Drew is too good for Diane (evil, sulky twin).
-Both Ben and Lindsey are impressed by Adralie's performance so far.

Speaking of Diane (evil, sulky twin), it's time to have an HOH Chat. She says she was pretty angry and sulky about Jase winning the POV. However, she enjoyed making fun of the guys all week with the spycreen. She wants anyone to win HOH this week, save Cowboy and Jase. *cackles evilly*

Julie, satisfied with Diane's answers, sends us back to the Diary Room for more anticlimactic votes. This time, Will, Drew, and Adralie vote.

Notably, Adralie seems to like Scott more than Marvin. Man, Marvin's screwed now. There's no way she'd vote off someone she likes. I mean, Jase voted off his nemesis, Scott, right?

Will: "I vote to evict Scott."
Drew: "I vote to evict Marvin."
Adralie: "I vote to evict... (pause) It's just not flying off my tongue." (mysterious glance)

Big Brother Scoreboard
Scott: 3
Marvin: 3
It's Just Not Flying Off My Tongue: 1

Julie first gives us a little more teaser information about Project DNA again, and asks Marvin and Scott for some Final Words.

Geez. Scott really gets down to business. He very quickly clears his heterosexuality, and then whimsically tells all the guys how special their time was together. Marvin dittos the sentiment, gives a few shoutouts, and prepares for his doom.

(In the first time in BB history, the producers choose to skip a commercial break and simply give the voting results now. That's strange. "Catwoman" must be one of their sponsors.)

Julie: "In a vote of 4 to 3... Scott you are evicted from the Big Brother house."

(Scott leaves. Lot's of hugging and sighing.)

Jase roams around for awhile. This is an interesting psychological experiment. What does an alpha-male do when his buddy is voted off? Put on some sunglasses, take of his shirt, and lift weights. Vodka later. After the HOH competition.

Meanwhile, in the real world, Scott is "absolutely shocked." He thought the 4 Horsemen had control, but it must have gotten to their heads. He's absolutely speechless.

(+20 Likeability Points for Scott)

Scott watches the oh-so-touching confessionals the HGs left him. Drew, Will, Cowboy, and Karen all say nice things about him. Jase gives him the "I told ya so" routine about Holly.

(-20 Likeability Points for Jase)

Julie: Do you regret keeping Adria in the game?
Scott: (bitterly) I saved Adria's a$$.

*commercial*

It's time to reveal the big twist. Julie comes on the intercom and informs the houseguests that it's time to play the HOH Game. But first, she wants to toy with the houseguests' puny intellects for a moment. She asks Diane a practice question which Diane gets wrong. Julie tells them that there are actually 14 houseguests, not 13, that have been playing the Big Brother game.

As she explains the rules of the twist, Cowboy and Jase keep repeating "It's Holly!" in desperation.

...No, it’s Holly’s mannequin. You may have a chance with her, Jase.

Borrowing a page from The Mole, Julie instructs Natalie to reveal herself to the houseguests...

*dramatic pause*

Natalie runs out of the diary room and all the Big Brother houseguests go through something I shall affectionately call CRUSH. CRUSH stands for:
1. Confusion. See "Jase."
2. Regret. Man, I'm so freaking stupid for keeping her in the game!
3. Understanding. 1 twin + 1 twin = 2 twins.
4. Surprise. Cowboy and Jase were wrong about Holly being a twin. Shocking.
5. Hindsight. Every reality TV twist is proceeded by hundreds of "I knew it!"s.

Although we would love to watch the HGs CRUSH for a little while longer, Julie tells us we still have business to attend to. It's time for the Not-So-Exciting HOH competition!

*audience cheers*

*houseguests go stand behind their elaborate podiums*

This game is all about observation. Julie will read off a True/False statement and the HGs will answer. Get it wrong and you lose. Last HG standing will be HOH.

Question 1: Everyone got right.
Question 2: "There are 4 bowls on the wall in the dining room." (answer: false)

Best.question.ever.

This question eliminates Cowboy, Drew, Jase, Marvin, and Natalie. Thanks to Julie’s unobservant nature (and 20/80 vision), Natalie gets to stay in the game for one more question.

Question 5 eliminated the rest of the houseguests except Nakomis, who finally found her way into my summary. Good for her.

Less importantly, she’s the new Head of Household.

*shots of happy girls & Will*

*shot of the sullen Santa Monica ShortBus Boys*

*shot of evil, sulky Diane*

After commercial, Julie has one last interview with the HGs about the big, shocking twist. Natalie does some butt-kissing. Will treats us to more Hindsight, Karen says something about sleeping with both of the twins, and Adria says something unintelligible.

And the houseguests lived happily ever after. Except for Jase, who is, by definition, screwed. Of course that depends on what your definition of "is" is...

I'd like to thank Lady Luck for giving me yet another "Big Twist" episode to summarize...