Hmmmmm SR, interesting possibility about Bethany possibly having been contracted to SO prior to her daughter's death. Hadn't thought about it that way. I didn't get that impression and of course, they didn't let on that that was a possibility. I thought it would have been somewhat similar to kind of an emergency decision along the lines of Jossie in season 1 ... when she was only weeks away from having Cloe, wasn't sure if she would keep the baby or not, the boyfriend didn't want to be a responsible adult and didn't mind tossing Jossie out since he didn't know if the child was his or not, and Jossie was living in her car at the time. Of course at that time they added Jossie as HM #7 and put her up in the guest room but this year the house is so toppsy-turvey that it wouldn't be hard to slip someone in as a last minute decision.

My biggest concern for Bethany is that her family wanted her to come to SO thinking it would help. Are they thinking Bethany should be more "over it" than she is? That she shouldn't be still struggling just to get up on her feet every day? Lord I hope not. For ANYONE to say under these conditions that she "should __________ (anything)" would be devistating. Remember she did say she has had a lot of people saying "You just have to get busy"; "You need to be working everyday", etc. and finally came to the conclusion that until they have suffered the loss of their child, they don't know what they are talking about.

The statement she made to Dr. Stan today about feeling guilty about leaving the old behind brought me back to the goal Rhonda set for her ... something about rediscovering the joy? I wondered if the guilt could have something to do with that goal. If I'd just lost my daughter, went for help, and thought the LCs might be expecting me to be independant, joyful, and ready to prance into the world, maybe go flirt at some singles bar or something (exaduration mine) by the end of my weeks at SO I'd wonder if I'd come waaaaay too soon also. She did mention that the timing was the biggest problem. It's not that she doesn't want to do all that's been mentioned but not ready to move so far away from Shelby's daily existance ... and right now Shelby's daily existance in her heart just isn't going to feel joyful. Maybe if her goal would have been to grieve successfully or survive the grief process she wouldn't feel she'd be moving so far away from the "old".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A WOMAN must do what he can't.