Hey Cleverone,

Thank you for sharing your own very personal experience. It definitely adds another dimension to this discussion. I'm so sorry for your loss, and I'm sure your motives in trying to be there for your grief-stricken mother were completely selfless and they deserve recognition. But I am so glad that you had the opportunity to define and address you own pain. It sounds like both of you found a place of acceptance and resolution.

There is no "right" way to handle these awful realities of life. Each of us is so different, and yet we all have so much in common when it comes to grief: the pain is severe and life can seem hopeless. In that frame of mind, family members and friends can't always say and do the right things - but it isn't humanly possible for one person to heal another's grief. Nobody can supply "the answer" in these situations. The answer comes from many sources, sometimes unexpected.

I don't believe Sarah was doing or saying anything other than what she thought was best for Bethany. It seemed as though Starting Over may have been a good place for Sarah to begin to heal. Her grief is intense too, it's just different from Bethany's, and her journey to healing will be different. She'll need to shoulder some heavy burdens without losing herself in the process. I almost wish they had offered her the chance to stay.

Her willingness to support Bethany in her decision to leave proves that her sister's wholeness and peace is of primary importance to her. I think they'll come through this in time - changed, but whole.

*******************************************