>
> Bethany's Sister Sarah talked her
>into coming to the
>SO house.
>She thought it would help her
>to cope with the death
>of her child.
>But I think now she thinks
>she should be with her
>family.
>Rhonda told her she would still
>keep in touch with her
>
>and support her in what ever
>way she can.

After having been in a situation similar, I'd like to come to the defense of Sarah (Bethany's sister)...I believe that she thought she was doing something good for her sister, she seemed to think that this would help Bethany more than she could. I believe she wants only the best for Bethany with all my heart.

When we lost my sister, my mother smothered me with her needs and being the "good daughter"..I gave in to her every whim (the death was sudden and unexpected)...I was there for her, every minute, thinking that by giving her a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen that I was helping her. It never dawned on me that I was stifling my own grief in trying to be strong for her and it took it's toll on me...I thought I would have a nervous breakdown....it was toooo much to be supportive of her and removing myself from the grieving process. When it finally occurred to me that I couldn't be her sole support any longer, I found myself running away from her and being very blunt and punishing her for what she was putting me through. I felt sooo ashamed and knew that I hurt her and that was the last thing I wanted to do. Thank God, I found a grief counseling group for us both and it was the answer and it was public enough for us . I'm glad that I sought the group as it did wonders for us and help my mom to see that she didn't have to climb in the ground with my sister..."she had more to live for"...now, we both know that we can go on and the mom that told Bethany that she'd "never get over it" was soooo correct and after realizing that "fact"...she can prepare to have a life without Shelby.

The only thing Sarah may have done in error was to convince Bethany to make a life altering decision too soon by coming to SO...in grief counseling, they tell you not to make any life changes or decisions within the first year as they often tend to be "wrong choices"...and I found this to be sound advice.

....And Season wrote:

****************************I wondered if Bethany had contacted the producers saying that the loss of her daughter had changed everything, and she didn't want to appear on the show. Perhaps they pressured her, saying that the SO house would be an ideal place to heal, etc.

What we have learned is that there is no shortage of women who desperately want to get on the show. Bethany didn't seem to be one of those women. Understandably, she began to express her uncertainty about staying in the house almost immediately. She didn't seem sold on it. Some women get to that place after a few days, and it's usually because the show isn't what they thought it would be. But in Bethany's case, it was pure sorrow, grief, and a desire to be in familiar and loving surroundings that were gnawing at her.

If we are left with any impression of Bethany, it is one of a dear and loving young mother who has a heart that has been broken into pieces. She cannot foresee a life without her daughter. Our thoughts and prayers go with Bethany, wherever she may be.

I hope that this clears up any misunderstanding.************

I agree with you SR, Bethany made this abundantly clear from the start....and I genuinely feel that Bethany isn't ready to be in a public forum with her grief and I, too, wish her the best and strongly advise her to seek out grief counseling...they are "only" interested in helping you thru the process "at your own pace". Good Luck, Bethany!!! My prayers are with you and Sarah (because it's going to be a tough road ahead for you both).

"I walk in my own shoes..."
****************************