Jeepers, I am there with ya. We lost our son in 1995, and then we have put every child through life and death situations since then and often we almost lost another. I have suffered watching Bethany because of how "ignorant" the SO coaches are being about her situation.

I do believe that time does not heal wounds, but gives you the ability to move past them. My son died sooooo many years ago but I still give them this timeline.
I think about 3mths post death you begin to feel again. Until that time its like you are in a coma-like state.
After six months you begin to feel again. Until then that little protection around your heart is still there.
After one year you began noticing that all the anniversaries are now past. Life will begin to pick up and begin finding hope again.

I don't know how you feel about that, Jeepers, but I share with you that the loss of a child is deep. Just some of my thoughts.