LAST EDITED ON 09-26-13 AT 08:23 PM (EST)

Oh Man, these things are hard. They hurt my head.

1. The new current standard for choosing the person to vote out is 'Who will switch out of the other tribe to take their place, thus weakening the opposition?' Name a flaw in this plan.

Nothing, other than the fact that cross tribe communications can derail carefully laid conspiracy plans, and at some point you could be getting a vengeful returnee on your tribe.

2. Imagine you are Russell Hantz. (I will allow five minutes for the vomiting to stop.) Someone has just called Colton the gay version of you. Exactly why are you really offended?

He's just upset because he wasn't mentioned first. He thinks it should have been phrased as "Russell is the straight version of Colton. But it's just a minor thing, if Russell really took offense to anything it would mean that he would have to get up and do something other than blow hot air. Which is, of course a Hantz specialty.

3. Let's have a barrel of fun! Using that rather interesting means of contestant transport, how would you have improved the Reward/Immunity challenge?

Niagra Falls comes to mind.

4. Jeff is getting a little too full of himself. Come up with a deflation technique for his ego.

Candice's machete throwing skill and the RI pygmy taste in Hors d'oeuvres might bring him down a notch or two.

5. Gervase has a tattoo on his arm reading 'Pagong'. When it comes to negating all hopes of winning, what are some show-related tattoos which could possibly somehow be worse?

I heart Aaryn.

6. On a scale of 0 through American Idol auditions, how boring was the first duel?

Sailboat race boring. Sailboat racing on a windless day boring. Sailboat racing on a windless day without cold beer boring. Sailboat racing on a windless day without beer or heroin boring (shall I continue?).

7. Who would have been the most practical person for Candice to give the idol clue to?

Her worst enemy. Maybe whoever she thinks came up with the suggestion that she be targeted?

8. Colton would like to stir the crap. What keeps him from eternally spinning in a circle?

Don’t know. Actually, I think Alabama ear worms are eating his brain.

9. How many of these people will be back next season?

Every one you hate.

10. What's the frequency, Kenneth?

Let’s ask Dan while we beat the whey out of him. Actually, the question part is optional.

shhhhh! I stole this from Tribe and I ain't gonna give it back.