Here's the whole story -- ok sue me:
Dirty deeds done dirt cheap for Survivor finale
It'll be sweet payback when exiles call shots for million-dollar prize
David Staples
The Edmonton Journal
Colleen Haskell
Rudy Boesch
There are two sure signs that Survivor-mania is boiling over, just as the show heads into its final two-hour episode this Wednesday night.
- Sign #1: Hair stylists across North America are having to watch the show so they can learn how to do the Colleen cut.
Colleen Haskell is the Miami beauty who survived 33 days on the island without shampoo, without conditioner, and without a comb, but still didn't have one bad hair day.
Haskell's hairdo is now the rage for short-haired women, and may turn out to be as hot and trendy a hairdo as long-haired women had with the Jennifer Aniston cut in the mid-'90s.
Stylist Michelle Chernish of Edmonton's Golden Scizzors has now given the layered bob cut to a handful of clients. They all loved it, Chernish says. "I like the cut. It's cute. That kind of messy style is what people are looking for, something really easy to do."
- Sign #2: Almost all the people dedicated to figuring out who won Survivor before his or her name is announced on TV are admitting they're whipped. A few of them aren't taking it too well, especially the conspiracy theorists on the Web site Survivor
Sucks.com (which coincidentally is located in Dallas, home of the grassy knoll). Some on the site believe Survivor producer Mark Burnett monitors everything they say on the Web, and that he posts messages with false clues just to screw them up.
Here's more Survivor gossip and opinion, the latter supplied by Journal writers Judy Schultz, Tom Barrett and David Staples.
- They Beat Horses, Don't They? At her initial Survivor audition, truck driver Sue Hawk passed around topless photos of herself swimming in an ice-cold river during a bear hunting trip in Siberia, People reports. Sue's father said they asked her how she would motivate someone. Sue said she'd give them a pep talk. "If that didn't work, she'd rap them upside the head with a 2-by-4, just like a horse," he added.
- Wisdom of the Aged: "After the first three votes, then you can figure out what's going on," ex-Navy SEAL Rudy Boesch told Newsweek, while he was still on the island. "For instance, when they voted off Joel (Klug) for being a male chauvinist pig. The women did that. I decided right then, I'm not going to offend the women. You've got to change your tactics and that really worked for me. They just about forgot about me and they're fighting among themselves."
- Wasn't a Nude Rich Bad Enough? "Me and Kelly don't belong in Playboy cause we've got tattoos. We belong in Hustler and I hear Larry Flynt pays more," Sue says of reports that Colleen and Jenna Lewis were offered big money to pose nude for Playboy.
- Survivor Training: People quoted Rudy's pal and ex-SEAL, Bill Burbank, about a 1963 training mission in Corsica. Coming down a mountain, Burbank lightened his load, ditching his C rations. Rudy, following him, scooped them up. That night, waiting for a submarine to pick them up, Burbank starved while Rudy feasted. "You think Rudy would give me any of my food (back)?" Burbank asked. "He kept it. He finally gave me a peanut butter cracker."
- The World's Dopiest Sex Symbol. The notorious nipple-ring doctor, Sean Kenniff, now says the idea for his alphabet voting strategy came to him in a dream. It proved to be a nightmare for Jenna Lewis, who was booted off the island after her turn came in the alphabet. But many women still think Dr. Doofus is a dream. He receives about 130 messages a day from interested women. Are there really THAT few good men out there?
- Anti-Hype Hero: For all those who hate pop culture and Survivor, there's always castaway Greg Buis, who is refusing to do interviews, doesn't have an agent, and doesn't even watch the show. "It's a fine show, but I'm just not a big fan of TV," Buis told Newsweek. "It doesn't appeal to me."
- The Rascal-farian. In an Internet chat, castaway Gervase Peterson -- who's never been married but has four children with two different women, including one child while he was lounging on the island -- says he made a move on castaway Colleen. "I even tried to put my own bid in," said Gervase. "I think she is too cute."
- America's Most Wanted: "I'm getting marriage proposals from men and women, and wonderful naked photos of men," gay castaway Richard Hatch told Newsweek.
- No Apologies: Rich also told Newsweek. "I'm not sorry for trying to build an alliance. I'm not sorry for blatantly lying to Jeff (Probst) at tribal councils. I'm happy with the way I played."
You know what?
Rich is right.
There was as much onus on Rich to tell the truth at tribal council as there is for a blackjack dealer to show you the next 10 cards.
- It's Gotta Be Rudy, Part 1: Official
Survivor shrink, Dr. Gene Ondrusek, who debriefed the losers after they left tribal council, talking in May 31 interview: "The ultimate winner will most likely possess the ability to combine leadership skills with being a team player. É
"Most importantly, the winner will embody a hard to define quality which makes others want to see them succeed."
w It's Gotta Be Rudy, Part 2: Mark Burnett, on Newshour with Jim Lehrer, said on July 5: "At the end of Survivor, when there are two left, we bring back the seven who were most recently kicked off, and payback is sweet.
"The whole point of Survivor is you reap what you sow.
"And the lesson that comes away from it is, behaving badly doesn't necessarily benefit you. There's a lesson there."
- Nobody Knows: Don't feel bad if you're having trouble picking the winner. Burnett didn't do any better. He figured Ramona Gray, who exited in Episode 4 would win, with Gretchen Cordy, who left in Episode 7, as his second choice. Meanwhile, Rudy barely got on the show. Burnett revealed he didn't make the initial list of 16 castaway candidates but was later pencilled in.
And the final Survivor is?
- Tom Barrett Says: I'm staying with Rudy. He's out of gas and the other contestants are taking him for granted. Richard thinks Rudy is the ideal person to go before the jury with. Big mistake. The jury will deny the money to the person they like the least, not give it to the one they like the most. It will be "sweet revenge" for the jury to stick it to Rich or Sue.
Rudy isn't touchy-feely but he's conducted himself with honour. He hasn't lied or double-crossed anyone, or acted arrogantly. The jury may not love him, but seeing him walk off with the money won't sicken them. Kelly might have a shot with the jury but she will have to win both immunity challenges to get the chance. I say deport her to North Carolina and hand her over to the police, before she bites everyone on the schnozz.
- Judy Schultz Says: Rudy: show him the money! He's the most cantankerous, ornery old cuss I've seen in a long time, but given the company he's been keeping, he's the most likable. The guy has been married to the same woman for 42 years -- he must have some redeeming features! I've lost interest in Kelly's welfare. She's boring. Too much whining. As for Rich, OK, I admit it -- I've reluctantly developed a grudging admiration for him. He's not self-righteous, and he'd be fun at a party.
- David Staples Says: Make that a Rudy three-pack, though at this point, I'd love to see Sue win. Her honesty is delightful. Everyone else whined about Sean's stupidity behind his back, but Sue came right out at tribal council and told him to his face that he's a dunce. Next, she promised Kelly she wouldn't stab her in the back, and she's kept her word. When Sue decided that Kelly was a traitor, she just walked up and stabbed her in the face, telling her she's the next to get voted off.
Sue is a breath of fresh air -- even if that air is as hot as a glowing, white poker iron.
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