LAST EDITED ON 04-12-13 AT 02:33 PM (EST)

1. Of your own free will, you have just decided to give Dawn a new car, with no repayment or thanks of any kind required. Create a justification she can use for running you over with it.

Tell her a secret. Then lookout, because after she runs you over, she’ll toss your corpse under a train.

2. In reality, the levels of privileged information within the government are Unclassified, Restricted, Confidential, Secret, and Top Secret. How does Phillip interpret them?

Top secret files are always to be announced to the world at the first opportunity. Along with the secret names of all the secret agents. (Hey, was this guy a Russian Federal agent?)

3. What's the next hiding place for the idol?

Considering where it’s been, and having seen Shane’s season (http://funny115.com/v2/26.htm - thanks to Michel), an Ultra Secure Federal Biological Disposal Facility. Or a launched into a trajectory to the sun, with a caveat that the sun would become a biologically restricted area for 1000 years.

4. Who would win a naive-off?

A 100 on the naivety scale would have to go to anyone who is grateful for having been chosen by Phil to be one of his Stealth-R-Us agents. At the moment that needle seems to point to Erik.

5. Eddie and Reynold destroy every woman they come into contact with. How could you use this power for good?

Introduce them to Katie Couric. Or Star Jones. Or Hoda (whoever she is).

6. As Phillip never actually loses anything, he clearly must have thrown both the Reward and Immunity challenges, then gone on a forty-minute rant regarding why. Provide an exert.

Obviously you aren’t reading the Spoilers. Here goes;

Spoiler: Phil confides to his alliance that he lost the Immunity Challenge on purpose this time too, because with his super strength he could have bent the bars any time he wanted to and stuck his head thru. But this would have given his alliance too much of an advantage and possibly spilled the secret (that the whole world knows) about the existence of Stealth-R-Us. So, strategically, he had to purposely lose again.

7. Michael currently has the Ponderosa all to himself. What's the first thing he should do there?

Swim toTahiti.

8. How was Brenda able to maintain her IC position for so long?

Brenda has been trying to get into the porn industry, and the lip and throat muscles along with the inhaling and swallowing related skills she developed gave her the ability to suck in enough air to win. One wonders why Mike did so poorly. Or Sherri.

9. Reynold is holding a winning lottery ticket worth three hundred million dollars. You have ten seconds to talk him into handing it over. Go.

Apparently all you have to do is say “Hey Bro…” and follow that with an extended open hand. And puppy dog eyes.

10. Will you vote the way Andrea wants you to vote?

Different people would answer that differently. I would weigh the chances of my winning the million balanced with the implied promise of a couple of weeks of fantasy sex with her at the Ponderosa - and hell yeah! Get her to scrub her elbows use and some shampoo, and with those eyes it would be hard to say no to anything she wanted. It would actually be hard to focus on the question. It would be hard...(never mind).

To the Shwack shack with you!