1. How is it possible to serve two tours of duty in Iraq without getting sand in your eyes?

By lying in a tank for 19 hours a day and having someone bring you your food.

2. Phillip forget to assign codenames to the Fans tribe. Help him out.

The Stupid One.
The Other Stupid One.
Another Stupid One.
And another Stupid One.
Yet another Stupid One.
The Stupid Disillusional One.

3. What has Brandon conquered lately?

His humanity.

4. You're a local resident getting your initial glimpse of the Favorites tribe. What's your first thought?

Let's see how much stupid stuff I can make up and let them think it will actually help them out here.

5. Eddie and Reynolds believe winning challenges is important. What would Cirie have to say about that?

Since Cirie can't win the million, she just doesn't care.

6. Shamar was part of the Occupy Wall Street protests. Is he in the top 1% of anything?

He's on America's Most Loopy list.

7. Has anyone seen Jeff's credibility?

When has Jeff HAD credibility?

8. On a scale of 0-10 Todds, how smug have Sherri's TC facial expressions become?

Her face is frozen like that, so that doesn't count as more than 1 expression.

9. The show has provided you with planks and sandbags. Design an Immunity challenge.

Use the planks to hit other competitors. Once they're down, put sandbags on top of them. Hit the pile if until it stops moving. Last one moving wins immunity.

10. Will you bring me a cup of rice?

Sure! Just let me get a handful of sand to blow into your eyes before I come over.