Hello, here we are to kick off another season of Survivor (What number is it this time? I’m pretty sure it’s in the high twenties by now), with me, your oh-so-accurate you that wouldn’t believe spoiler, and handsome, too, at your service.
I still have my bevy of truly raunchy (in a good raunchy way, also in a very bad way) girl reporters who excel at finding the deep down dirt, and they do it in the nude. Shows off their kissable little bullet holes, knife scars, and stiches. So adorable.
Due to legal circumstances beyond my control, I’ve had to change my alias once again, so just call me Ivan. Ivan t’Noah Moor. My fake family are Russian Moors that arrived in an Ark by way of t’ Noahistan, if you must know.
So, as for our gullible little rodents (Survivor wanabees), half of this year’s crop are former failures from previous seasons, and the other half are newbies, or as I like to refer to them, future failures. The future failures against the former failures. What fun.
As for the former failures, did they learn anything during their previously failed Survivor excursions? And after their personal failures, did they learn anything from watching other survivors fail? Did they gain any insight at all? Are they more self-reflective, or are they still the narcissistic boneheads that look on a glass that’s half empty and see that it’s everyone else’s fault that the water is gone?
What do you think?
Fr'esca/FANta/ Fresqua Francesca Hogi
In her own words (hey, this snark business is easy, just get these people to say something, and the stuff just writes itself):
Q: Why You Think You Will Be the Sole SURVIVOR?:
Conclusion: Nope. Not the reflective sort.
First castaway voted out at Redemption Island, and her claim to fame is that she’s tenacious. (I don’t think that word means what she thinks it means, whatever that is).
Spoiler Alert: Franchesca goes out in first place. Again. In Survivor, that means worst place. She has defined for herself a special place in the Survivor Hall of Shame.
But that was just mean. I was prepared to post the above in regard to Franchesca, but after that, I feel bad. Not too bad to erase the post, but still, bad. Sort of.
Apparently, the term “flying under the radar” isn’t in her makeup, she did the same thing this time that she did last time, with the same results. You can’t help but like her, and feel sympathy, but to let a goofball like Phillip get the best of her twice…TWICE!…, well, hope for our girl begins to fade.
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