Welcome back Ladies and Gentlemen... and those of you who are still undecided. We bring you another season of BTS -
Beat Be The Survivor. Some of you may be mourning the loss of Colton, the Ragin' Racist, but fear not; we have a selection of mentally feeble and socially awkward Survivors for your mocking and bashing pleasure. Did I mention that we also have D-List Celebrities as well?
As always, I am pleased to announce that kingfish and suzzee are on high alert. (Some are higher than others...) And I've asked the one and only tribe to design siggies that will delight and amaze you.
The Cast is listed below. Please request a character (or Snuffer, or animal, or Hidden Immunity Idol; hell, we’re into cosplay, transmogrification and irony worship here, so almost anything goes). Please suggest your own concise but poignant tagline.
To help things run smoothly in this Sign Up thresd, please put the requested Character name in the Subject line and snark from there in the body of the message. Also, being a part of this BTS is like winning the lotto, getting super powers or being one of the hundreds of people who have been allowed to take a walking tour of Kim Kardashian's tan lines, but we do have a lot of characters to play with so please get the word out to those may otherwise be intimidated by the level of wit and snarkitude that we display on a regular basis.
And for those of you who are reading and chuckling right now... if you can lurk, you can play!
Here’s the cast:
Kalabaw Tribe - Water Buffalo
Jonathan Penner - Writer, Producer, Actor - Former Knee Evacuee
Sarah Dawson - Insurance Sales, Alicia Wannabe
Katie Hanson - Former Miss Delaware, Another suit filler... uhhm seat filler?
Jeff Kent - Former Baseball MVP, May not get to 2nd base on Survivor
Dana Lambert - Cosmetologist, Tattoo canvas
Carter Williams - Track Coach (Coach?) - Will fetch a stick if you whistle.
Tandang Tribe - Rooster
Michael Skulpin- Former Crispy Critter- Self-Employed, Father of 7
Abi-Maria Gomes - Business Student, Saving up for implants
Roberta “R.C.” Saint-Armour - Investment Banker, Thinks she's on a Bank Team-Building Retreat
Artis Silvester - Computer Engineer, Gets HBO on his earrings/DIRECT TV dish
Lisa Whelchel - Former Blair
Pete Yurkowski - Engineering Graduate and Secret MAW
Matsing Tribe - Monkey
Russell Swan - Attorney, Dehydration for the Defense
Malcolm Freberg - Bartender (Mixologist looking for a Happy Hour)
Zane Knight- Tire Repair (clone of Russell/Brandon)
Angie Layton - Student, Will not drown in water challenges
Roxanne “Roxy” Morris - Seminary Student, Will lie and cheat while quoting Scripture
Denise Stapley- Sex Therapist (Director of Irony)
Hidden takeout, crouching cookie.