On the Loose

It turns out that the warrant was for riding a stretch Vespa naked without a license. Who knew? I was just exercising my right to an all over tan, and they gave be a ticket. The noive!

So after hiring a free lawyer (David donated his services for a promotional mention in this widely read column) to puzzle his way thru the red tape and spring me, here I am again. On the street! With a tattoo of Big Bertha's purse dog on my forehead. I think it is a purse dog. It's very hairy, so what else could it be?

When I hit the street I found out that while I was otherwise occupied the EPMB has been Rollying the Dice and stealing most of my best jokes in his summaries. That will not do, and I immediately asked my free lawyer to file a federal suit embargoing EPMB's funny lines. I may have to call a certain Secret Federal Special Sewer Agent from Mars to testify.

As the big gate of the prison closed behind me a Suburban with blacked out windows pulled up, and the surly voice of my inside Spoiler source (*not-Russel) growled out the latest spoilers.

Spoiler #1: Saint Matthew has been on his knees practicing what he's going to do to convince Krista to throw the upcoming RI Challenge. The Spirit of the Island has been taking pictures.

While on his knees, Saint Matthew also has been trying to convince God that Krista is more evil than Kristina was. Krista's name doesn't have as many letters in it, and so that proves that she is more eviler. And that he is more gooder.

Spoiler #2: The Zaps finally figured out that they had the key to an unlimited food supply. Besides the makings for a delicious flea and tick stew that could be reaped from Ralph's pelt anytime they wanted, they found that by dragging him thru the surf all kinds of seafood could be netted in his fur. He claimed:

"at fiels goud, nman, at feils goud". Hawyer, do er agin, yewall".

Once again, without the Jiff around to translate, his tribemates were at a loss. But they could tell that he was happy, so that was enough.

Spoiler #3: The night shift cameraman caught Stephanie sneaking out of camp and visiting the OhNo's. And she witnessed with envy the closeness that has marked Phillip and Rob's relationship as of late. Late at night, that is. While they slept, she managed to insert herself on the other side of Rob from Phillip, did her thing, and returned to her camp. There is a reason why Rob is smiling. Steph has a bit of a grin herself.

Spoiler #4: Grant has devised a new winning strategy. Make sure Rob gets all the HII's. Well, "winning" might not be the best way to describe it, but that's what his dreads are telling him.

(* legal disclaimer.)

Tribal Art

{Remember folks cut and paste "Because Spoiler to the stars, MissyPissy says so!" in your voting thread on spoilers. Don't let me down. I'm financing this spoiling gig out of my own pocket, and it's getting serious.}