LAST EDITED ON 03-23-11 AT 09:16 AM (EST)

Or Just another Rolly Of the Dice

The Raunchy Girls Parade will be here soon and we are busy decorating our float. Our float will be pulled by Raunchy Girls in skimpy black leather outfits designed by Dior astride our specially prepared stretch Vespas. Should be quite a sight. If anyone is thinking that this will be a humdrum parade, they should be advised that the leather outfits are parade favors and will be thrown out along the route. No Raunchy Girl has ever ended a Raunchy Girl parade with any clothes left, and no Raunchy Girl ever will.

I will be on one of the floats, a gigantic bar glass filled with Gin (Absolute, <more product endorsements, this is a business, not a hobby folks>) and Tonic (Schweppes), with a monster wedge of Lemon (California Growers). My task is to hand out party cups filled from the float reservoir to revelers along the parade route. I also have a long straw for my own thirst quenching. If there is a single party goer along the route by the end of the day that can stand up unassisted, I've not done my job.

One of our supporters, my secret Spoiler Source (*Not-Russell) has been lending a decorating hand, and in between mixing and sampling, he passed on the latest Spoilers.

Spoiler #1: There was an earthquake of emotion and a tsunami of tears last week when Russell lost. Since then the Ghost of Russell has been spotted by the night shift cameraman peeking into the sleeping quarters, and weeping. Rumors are that he bought up the spicier video footage, Matt and Kristina, Matt and Krista, Matt and Francesca, Matt and Russell, (sensing a theme there? That maybe Saint Matt is making his own luck?).

Spoiler #2: Ralph, in one of his more composed moments, commented

"Whut isnter gossen hicken bamber? Whut isther rantburn gordmonert. Monken butters gits r dun, gan dang it"

Jiffy Pop whipped out his decoder ring, turned red, and refused to translate saying something about what happens between Ralph and the local troupe of monkeys stays between Ralph and the local troupe of monkeys. However they have carried him around on their shoulders a few times. Some sort of a Ralph worship cult has been formed by the monkeys, it seems.

Spoiler #3: The little brown hash marks keep appearing on the beach around Stephanie. The Ghost of Russell is still trying to convince her that when the OhNo's voted him out, that just showed how he a really won again.

Spoiler #4: The Reward offered in the upcoming episode is rumored to be Kingfish Anchovy Paste (I know, I'm shameless). Just remember, If it's not Kingfish Paste, it's not the best kind (please pause for a moment to reflect on just how terrific Kingfish Anchovy paste tastes, Ummmmmm Goooood!
<Advert Jingle..................> Ok we're back now).

Spoiler #5: Steve has devised the perfect plan to not win the Million bucks, i.e. generate good will among tribe mates, lessen tensions, promote tribe unity, and join hands in a friendship circle and all sing "We are the World" as they skip around and weave flowers in their hair. Needless to say, the survivor hook is most likely to visit Steve's neck in the near future.

Spoiler #6: Natalie and Ashley were sitting on a log at camp when Phillip bent over in front of then and let fly a Mighty Wind. Coughing, choking, and partially blinded they clung together and stumbled deep into the jungle. They found a heap of palm leaves upon which they fell, and hours later, when sight and smell returned, and when their fingers could feel again, they discovered new feelings awakening in them, feelings they had never explored before. Curious fingers started exploring, clothing was discarded, hungry tongues began to....(OK at this point, PG guidelines require that I direct you to another website, XXXSurvivorChicksInLoveXXX.Com. A hefty subscription fee is required, but revelations of an intimate and sensational nature will be revealed).

(* legal disclaimer.)

Tribal Art

{Remember folks cut and paste "Because Spoiler to the stars, MissyPissy says so!" in your voting thread on spoilers. Don't let me down. I'm financing this spoiling gig out of my own pocket, and it's getting serious.}