LAST EDITED ON 02-28-11 AT 09:46 AM (EST)

Drama in Survivor's-ville

Overnight quite a few very dramatic events took place in both camps. But first, a little background on MissyPrissy.

Sarita instigated a evil plot to out MissyPrissy, Sourced Spoiler to the stars, (not my real name) in the hopes that her bestest friend forever, a certain federal agent tasked with serving subpoenas on certain Survivor Spoiler sources (* whose name is not-Russell), would go down in Survivor lore as the Survivor Spoiler of the Sourced survivor spoiler (* not-Russell).

We employed the Kingfish Detective agency (sore-assed Detective to the Stars) to get to the bottom of this plot.

As usual, Kingfish was deep into his bottle of rotgut and the case was assigned by his voluptuous assistant Velma, to his #2, FrankFoonerSchooner. His first task was to interview that nefarious so-called federal agent. Under intense pressure (Frank asked him about his tattoos) this semi-Fed blurted out the entire scheme. Apparently, Sarita was going by an alias that began with "K" and ended with "archita". What with the legal process being what it is, we can't be any more specific than that.

So, Frank, being the evil plotter that he is, decided to feed the Fed and his evil twin (fraternal) a back story that would hold up under scrutiny by the EPMB interrogator, Jiffy Pop.

Jiffy Pop>"So what's your story, MissyPrissy? You want a drink of water? Nice cool refreshing, thirst slacking water? Ummm, it tastes real good, Nice and cold...Yum yum. You want some? You can't have any until you spill. NOW SPILL, LITTLE MISSY!!!"

(he said this last part in a real loud voice, and I was scared, I'll tell you whut! So I fed him FrankFoonerSchooner's made up story.)

MissyPrissy>"So like ya know I'm sitting in the mall the other day and like my friend Buffy (she's like my BFF, ya know) says to me "Hey, Pris" (my name is MissyPrissy ya know, but, like, ya know, my friends call me Pris, ya know?). I say "Hey" back, ya know, cause I'm all polite and everything? And then I said "How do you like like these new shoes? I went to charge them on my fathers account, and they like went all unreasonable on me, and said I couldn't, ya know. Oh My God! They were like totally unreasonable. You see how they go with this dress? I was like destined to wear these shoes. So I asked if I could borrow them, ya know?"

"The sales girl was Brenda, you know, with the frizzy hair and the Ug face? She said I couldn't."

"Helloooo, like who does she think she's talking to -- Miss Uninformed? It's not like I wasn't the one who like told her all about the time I caught HER ex-boyfriend Brian making out with that heifer cheerleader like last week, ya know."

"Anyway, I told her like how I was taking them anyway because I had a date with Justin (he's, like, ya know, a total stud puppy). I was like "Oh my God, only a total dweeb would, ya know, like say no because none of this stuff made ANY sense. So, Oh my God, I'm like, you know? Totally? Gag me with a spoon!"

"So I took them."

Jiffy Pop>"Thanks, Missy, that's all I needed to hear, off you go to the International School for Prissy girls where lesbian Nuns will whip your hiney every time you take the Lord's name in vain. Then they try and make it better, but that's another story."

So that's how I got there.

On to the Island Drama:

Spoiler #1: Matt says "Whut?"

Spoiler #2: Steve had the medical crew visit him to see about his raging Jock Itch. He mentions that he's been scratching that itch since his NFL days. The medical crew considers putting him down on the spot, but that's hard to explain to the law, so then they consider a MedEvac. However, they realize that to do that someone would actually have to touch him, so they decide to just go "Ewwwwww" and back away.

Spoiler #3: Andrea secretly fashions a fake HII, except that she begins to stick pins into it's little Boston Red Sox cap topped head. When she conducts a secret midnite ceremony and invokes the spirit of Marie Laveau, it becomes evident that it isn't meant to be an HII after all. Bad news for de RobFadda. Good news for everyone else.

Spoiler #4: Speaking of HIIs, there is a mini revolt in the Survivor Hidden Immunity Idol crew. After being found by the odoriferous (hey, it's a word!. Look it up!) Ralph, and with the distinct possibility that Russell will find it next, the Survivor HII's staged a walkout. However, the HII in Ralph's butt crack is still tangled up in his crack fur, it hasn't been freed yet. The EPMB sent out the Island Troopers to bring the HIIs back in chains. Although the HII union has been busted, we the viewers aren't inconvenienced, so that's alright.

Spoiler #5: Grant's living-dead Zombie-Dreads scare the living hell out of his tribemates.

Spoiler #6: (Teaser) Matt ties a string around his pole and sticks it out as far as he can. And Francesca reaches out....

(Stay tuned for the exciting conclusion of "Mine's longer than Yours")

(* legal disclaimer.)

Tribal Art

{Remember folks cut and paste "Because Spoiler to the stars, MissyPissy says so!" in your voting thread on spoilers. Don't let me down. I'm financing this spoiling gig out of my own pocket, and it's getting serious.}