Let's Gufu from the beginning, shall we?

Wendy Jo: I didn't realize that you thought Survivor was casting your husband and you were just filling in for him. Next time, think for yourself.

Shannon: Next time if you're going into a game like this, take some pills for your mouth-diarrhea first.

Jimmy Johnson: Maybe you'd have lasted longer if you hadn't talked the shoe-thief into staying. That and thanks a lot for failing to turn the Dolphins around. We had to put up with Nick Saban because you couldn't get it together in Miami. Jerk.

Jimmy T.: What the hell was your game plan, anyway?

Tyrone: You got voted out over someone who wanted to quit. Next time, just work harder for a food reward and get over it.

Kelly B.: Looks to me like you were a victim of the thoughts of stupid people. Maybe take a page out of Fabio's book and play to your audience.

Yve: I vaguely remember an Yve on the show. But if her name were spelled normally, I doubt I would.

Jill: Your worst decision was to buddy up to Marty. Too bad you got voted off instead - we might be able to see your brain work independently of Captain Troll.

Alina: Yes, you were having fun. My old football coach said the only reason to play a game was to have fun. 'Course, he also said the only way to have fun was to win. Maybe you were so happy because you found whatever NaOnka got into that made her crazy.

Marty: I assume you are a self-appointed executive, because no right-thinking person would ever make you an executive of anything. I've met anti-social tech people. You are far worse than tham. Also, say hi to your buddy Guillermo Vilas for me. And Fabio schooled you.

Brenda: You had it all together and had to blow it by trusting the biggest loose cannon in Survivor history. WTF?

NaOnka: Let's see...you're Kimmi, Shii Ann, Osten, Crazy Sue Hawk, Janu, Judd, Billy, Dreamz, Courtney circa China, Kathleen, Corinne, and every foul-tempered athlete of the last 20 years rolled into one. You are a total waste of talent and potential. The only possible conclusion for why you did what you did was that you are totally and completely insane. Also, eyeshadow is not for hair.

Purple Kelly: What did you do, head to Loser Lodge for the first 27 days, show up on Day 28, decide Loser Lodge was nicer, and quit? Because it sure looked like it.

Benry: Big, physical threat. And not much else, as far as gameplay goes.

Jane: I'd like to award you with this honorary doctorate from the Judd Sergeant School of Being a Good Sportsmanship.

Dan: Maybe you should have just quit back on Day 16. Also, try spending a little less time in the tanning booth, unless you're going out for Jersey Shore next season.

Holly: Winners never quit, and quitters never win. People who ultimately succeed at neither are insane.

Sash: Jeff told you that you would be the first out of your tribe. You sure showed him. Why, look at all the people who respected you enough to give you their votes. Seriously. Four fewer than Chase? WTF?

Chase: I think a fifth person was going to give you their vote to win, but they just couldn't make up their mind. They hemmed and hawed for a few hours in the voting booth, and I guess they asked Rob's Magic 8-ball to decide. Then someone showed up and said, "Just vote for Chase. That's spelled F-A-B..."

Fabio: Congratulations! You just joined the ranks of people like Vecepia, Jenna, Amber, Aras, and all those other people no one remembers!