Episode 4 begins with all teams at the Zanzerec Manor, a winery in South Africa. The teams spend the night getting drunk, some more than others. Will gets hammered and starts shouting "I wanna have fun with the hot South African ladies!" The God Squad is not impressed and Russell throws him a few very ungodly dirty looks.Tara and Alex leave to "strategize" together in the dark. Will watches them leave but is too drunk to follow. He says he doesn't like it when she sticks it in his face. Perhaps why she is sticking things, mainly her tongue, in Alex's face instead.
At 2:52am, the first three teams set out to the airport to fly them 800 miles to Namibia. There are two planes, one leaving at 9am, and one at 12 noon. Only four spots on the first one and Will/Tara, Gary/Dave and Oswald/Danny get the first three spots. Danny is limping from a pulled muscle that Oswald says he got trying to do yoga. Hmm, is that what they're calling it these days? Yoga injury or no, Danny pulls it together to do the "Who's Your Daddy?" dance and chant in the airport.
There's one spot left on the first plane and Blake/Paige, Mary/Peach and the Twins are racing for it. Mary/Peach make it there first by seconds as Blake/Paige's driver wasn't bribed quite enough and the Twin's driver took them on a "shortcut".
Russell/Cyndi are the last to leave the pit stop and open their instructions. Russell reads "Catch a plane to NAMBIA". That's NAMIBIA, JACKASS! Where are Kevin and Drew when we need them?
The first plane lands in Walvis Bay, Namibia and everyone starts fighting for a ride to Swakopmund Lighthouse. Oswald and Danny use their Latin charm on an Avis dealer and she gets them a ride there, for whatever they can afford. Dave and Gary find the taxi "arranger" and, thrilled that she is getting them a taxi, shout "Let's get it on!" and hand her 550 Rand (hope that's for the taxi, boys!). Will gets an extra 10 Rand added to his taxi bill for his crap attitude and threatens the arranger with future bad karma. I think we all know who is building up bad karma right now, WILL.
Oswald/Danny arrive at the lighthouse and pay their personal Avis driver. Where's that damn $ counter we all asked for after TAR1? I want to know if the boys got a deal! The boys decide to go for the Fast Forward because of Danny's "yoga" injury. They find it in the pool of an old railway station, now a hotel. Oswald shouts to Danny (and I quote!)"Ai Baby! You're so excited, aren't you? Take off your pants, no one's going to say anything. You wet it! Thank you!" They get the fast forward and we get a nice shot of Danny's tighty-whiteys.
The other teams from the first plane are all making their way to the Matterhorn Sand Dune, except Mary/Peach who try for the FF, don't get it and head back to the dune. All teams choose to slide down the dune on boards at 50 miles/hour. Looks FUN!
The second plane lands and the teams all go and grab their cars from the beach near the lighthouse except Chris and Alex who miss their chance for a taxi and lose an hour, putting them in last place. The twins are in trouble right away as the one who's driving can't drive a stick shift. Now who the hell goes on a race around the world without knowing how to drive a stick? No sympathy here!
The teams in the lead grab a postcard from a tiny general store and head for a wood craving market. Tara and Will arrive first and Tara barters for carvings of Africa's big five animals. She then takes them to a bushman to trade them in for a giraffe with the next clue. She makes a complete idiot of herself by miming all the animals to the bushman. Most bizarre is her mime of a rhino, as all she does is point to her ass and say "Rhino!". Bad body image, Tara?
Peach can't barter AT ALL! The first seller offers her a 40 Rand animal, she buys it. The guy in the next stall hears this and say "This one is…uh, let's say… 60!" She buys it.
Meanwhile…Chris/Alex and The Twins are lost in the desert. Chris and Alex pull it together and find their way while the twins drive into a sand dune. The lucky jerks get pushed out by the locals, but continue to drive in circles.
Russell and Cyndi barter and get their wooden animal. Memories of their wedding night begin as Russell can't get his wood into the trunk and yells "It doesn't fit! How am I supposed to do this?" Cyndi yells "Put it in the other way and let it hang out!" Agghhh, my innocent ears!
People start to arrive at the pit stop, the Amani Lodge, an animal game farm. Oswald and Danny run in, riding high on their fast forward. There's a scuffle between Mary/Peach and Blake/Paige as they arrive together and Blake/Paige cut through the trees to get there first. Peach feels this is cheating. She obviously didn't watch TAR1 and the evil Guidos!
Phil pulls a sad, "it's all over" face when Chris and Alex arrive next to last and give them the good new. "You're in 7th place and Alex, you're free to continue groping someone else's wife!" They both jump up and down and Chris shouts "Gimme Some!" and gropes a bushman.
The Twins arrive without having completed anything, having obviously gotten a Guido-style "It's all over, you've been eliminated, give up now" letter telling them to go to the pit stop. They give the typical "It's been great, couldn't have done it with a better partner speech."
Places at the end of this leg are:
1. Oswald and Danny
2. Gary and Dave
3. Will and Tara
4. Blake and Paige
5. Mary and Peach
6. Russell and Cyndi
7. Chris and Alex
8. The Twins - Eliminated
Next week on TAR2:
Will and Blake fight it out while Tara and Alex sneak off for more "strategizing".
One night in Bangkok turns ugly.
Cyndi has horrible flashbacks of 1960's TV in THE BAT CAVE!
Email this topic to a friend
Printer-friendly version of this topic
Bookmark this topic (Registered users only)
J A V A 