LAST EDITED ON 09-27-03 AT 07:45 AM (EST)

PB&L - An Introduction
I tell my husband I’m going upstairs to get ready for the show. “Aww, it’s only 8:30,” he says. I say, “I have to put in a tape, set up the laptop, fix a PB&L.” “You mean PB&J.” “No, I mean PB&L. Peanut butter and lettuce. I don’t do PB&J.” He laughs and I know he’s trying to think of something funny for the recap. He loves being in the recap. “Mr. AMAI said…” always makes him giggle. He’s on the verge of a doozy when Enterprise comes back from commercials. He waves me out of his line of sight.

Oh for the days of innocence watching Enterprise. Sigh. I realize I may be one of only 5 or 6 persons planning to watch this show. “As many as that?!?!” you gasp. Well, yeah, last time I checked there were still 5 or 6 boards determined to recap this snoozefest.

Previouslys Up The Wazoo
It’s been nearly 3 months since vicious betrayals blah blah blah. I’m still getting my gear organized and I don’t have the tape rolling to catch the first layer of previouslys. What did they say? Everyone is coming back tonight? Wasn’t that supposed to be a whole night’s worth next week? Phew! Thank AS it isn’t. One of these two women – Alisnore or Jun-bug – will win the half mill.

Here’s Julie in a camel-toe inducing pantsuit. Too bad/lucky it’s hard to see it. She’s revved up to recrapiterate. I got news for her, the dreams are dead, only the nightmares remain. One of Ali the retail manager (read: Walmart junior employee, plumbing dept.) from Pudgescum, Penn and Jun the investment manager (read: bank teller) from the Big Apple, will walk out tonight half a million richer.

The self-proclaimed evil bitches’ last days come complete with champagne courtesy of BB, lots of DRs and colorized reminiscences. Jun sings and dances, “Robert is gone.” Not even good enough for off-off-off Broadway, Jun. In the DR, Ali snots, appropriately, about Ratbert, “Robert was kind of a sexist pig. I don’t wanna see these people. I don’t like the jury. I know they’re sore with me.” The jury is rubbed raw, like wet jeans in the crotch. Argg.

I could really do without fat-faced Alisnore twanging as if her life depended on it, which I guess it does. But still. Ugh. Ali does not sound good and she looks terrible, worse than usual. Her voice is nasal, hair stringy, face lumpy, that shade of lipstick is clownish. And the worst thing is when she smiles. When she smiles, her eyes look flat. Like a shark, bottom-feeding. There’s no joie de vivre in this girl. But then, when hasn’t she looked dreadful? I hated her day one when she quacked that she’s a princess.

Jun figures she will win because of how fake Ali was in the house. Ali introduces a segment on Jun, complete with colorful footage of Jun’s dazzling array of nasty comments. I believe she managed to insult every single person who spent time in the house or watching the show. I kinda admire her determination to piss off the entire Western world.

The cackling witches share a meal and Ali tells Jun that she knew from moment one she’d be with her at the end. Jun doesn’t reciprocate. Hey Ali, Jun isn’t one of the voters. You don’t need to lick her butt to get ahead. Must be a knee-jerk reaction. Lick butt first, ask questions later.

Jun's best move was making an alliance with Ali. We already know it took a few weeks for her to trust Ali, but I don’t think she'll ever got to the point of liking her. Will any of us get past the loathing? Does Ali really think Jun wants to be her friend when this is over? Jun tells us they are a good alliance because they both have disdain for each other. Cue tape of Ali dissing Jun and Jun dissing Ali.

Ali DRs a last-ditch attempt to convince herself somebody is gonna sing her praises besides her loony parents. This time she appeals to the feminists. Maybe Ali does have a chance with some dyke feminazi who doesn’t care about personality, looks or ethics.

Alisnore cues the deluxe recrappage, “So many struggles, so many hardships along the way.” I forgot to keep a scorecard, but that chum falling in Ep 1 has had quite a few replays. We know all the moments too well. Please, I just enjoyed my PB&L. Why are all the worst moments being replayed? Oh right, “hardships & struggles.” There is to be no sliding past Nathan saving Ali, Ali winning competitions and Ali making faces at the camera. Oh look there is Jun struggling with the hardship of going to the MTV MVAs. Hmm maybe we’re to understand that it was hardship for Ali. More struggles of Ali keeping her fake smile pasted on while Jun won her share of stuff.

The mime. The blimps. The torture of Ali by the mime. (zzzzip) The torture of Ali by the mime. Yeah! (zzzzip) The torture of Ali by the mime. Excuse me for rewinding a few times. I endure the squawk whining because it means that (zzzzip) Ali is being tortured by the mime. Cackle.

Settling down for sleep. Ali asks Jun if she would do it all again. Aye, arggh, she would, but she wouldn’t eat as much is her hilarious reply. See, Jun even disses herself. What a consummate insulter. I’m definitely cheering for her to win.

The Nits of the Round Table
Julie reminds us the Jury has only seen a few carefully put-together tapes of HOH competitions and evictions. Quite a lot of very interesting material has purposely been kept from them and will continue to be kept from them until after they’ve voted. As in Too Late. As the Jury awaits the arrival of the final juror, Erika blathers in DR about how a big part of her (the left boob) wanted Rob to win HOH while a big part of her (the right boob) didn’t want him to win. In walks Snotbert. There go Erika’s dreams of having help with her mountain of debts. And Snotbert would surely have won had he been in the F2 against Ali or Jun.

Apparently Dana had her heart set on seeing Snotbert make it to the final two. Now that is a shock. Oh right, at this point she hasn’t seen the whole season. She’s unaware of how disgusting he really is.

The Jury sits around swapping horror stories. Justin says, “We have to choose between these two. They’re both floaters, none of them was on our team.” Um, "none"? Oh, who am I kidding? Justin never claimed to be a brainbox did he?

Nathan tells the group about how Ali manipulated him. Dana asks if she manipulated him into saving her? Nathan: “She did, she did.” Oh right it’s totally not his fault for thinking with his genitals? Footage plays of the manipulation. I look away quickly.

Jee nods, yep, Ali’s a talker. She’ll talk her way out of anything. The group agrees: “Or jump into bed with you.” Laughs all round, with Alisnore doin’ her stuff onscreen for the umpteenth time to illustrate.

Dana says Ali is in the final 2 because she got lucky. She repeats it several times. Lucky lucky lucky. Dana is not in the F2 and she got lucky too. How ‘bout them apples?

Jack disagrees. Ali isn’t in the final because she was lucky, but because she remembered throughout that there are no rules about how to play this game. Yeah, I guess it's more like the unwritten rules of how not to play. I hate these early Jury deliberations. My stomach is lurching at the thought that this group might talk itself into voting for Ali.

Erika jumps in to say Ali won competitions when she needed to. Nathan says Jun was a snake in the grass. Erika campaigning against the evil personal attacks proves that Jun’s actions have not gone unnoticed. Snotbert chimes in to agree. Snotbert chimes in!?!?! Excuse me?? The same guy who didn’t let an hour pass without making derogatory comments about somebody, is dissing Jun on the point? Go a-way, Snotbert, you miserable rag.

Jee with admiration in his voice says Jun worked the kitchen and that’s the only reason he can respect her. It opened doors and enabled her to have a relationship with “all of us.” At the same time she’s a highly intelligent woman, “I think all of us here realize that.” Jee may not want to see Jun again, but he won’t say no to a fat cheque in the mail should she decide to oblige.

Erika pipes up to add that Jun should not win cuz she let Ali do her dirty work for her. “Jun never had to kick anybody out of the house.” And we have to revisit phoney-ass Alisnore forcing tears as she evicts Erika. I’d like to say that Ali wanted the power. She used her nastiness as a selling tool to make others keep her and/or get them to throw the power her way. She was happy to boot Erika. She begged Jun to let her have the last HOH so she could boot Snotbert.

Besides, Jun did do some of her own dirty work. Being HOH and nominating her own ex is what I consider doing her own dirty work. Jun didn’t come through the process unscathed.

Dana echoes the sentiment about Jun sitting back, so let’s move on and see what Justin has to say. For him it’s a question of whose game he respects more. Turns out, Justin doesn't have much to say.

The Jury Is Delusional
Here’s Julie with a new speechlet. “Alison or Jun – whom will the Jury choose to take home the grand prize?” Julie tells us the Jury is thinking as they prepare to cast their votes. Oh, is that what they’re doing in those DR screenshots? It looks like they’re dealing with gastric upset.

Jack is basing his vote on who he thinks played the most intelligent, savvy, wise game. Load up on synonyms, Jack. They’re on special at Walmart 3 for 1.

Snotbert wetly reviews the girls’ actions. They both manipulated, lied, cheated, did whatever they had to. It’s rich coming from he who had difficulty finding time to do anything that required two hands and half a brain. He would rather choose the turtles than those two. Someone as slow as him, in other words. Yawn.

Justin has to make a choice between two floaters neither of whose game he respects. That’s gotta make it hard for him, since he planned to base his vote on respect. How do you measure negative respect?

Nathan was backstabbed by Ali, and notes he didn’t have the best relationship with Jun. This guy is the most pathetic of all. He still doesn’t understand he was used by Alisnot like a tool, thrown away when no longer required.

Erika is trying to keep personal feelings out of her decision. Why? What else are you going to use?

Jee recrapiterates his own earlier comments. Okay, yeah, it’s all about strategy in the house. Yours sucked a little less than most people’s but that doesn’t make you more interesting. Is it time for commercials yet?

Dana reckons that both girls did things that she herself wouldn’t have done. Cough splutter. Really? You switched sides, you had an annoying voice and personality, you got the hots for another Houseguest. – lesser of two evils? Thanks for putting out, Dana. That’s a perfect title. I may use it. Ads

Back from the ads and JulieBot is repeating ad nauseum that we’re moments away. She manages to give their names without adding their occupations & hometowns.

Last Kick At The Alicat, Last Swipe at Jun-bug
Time to face the Jury for one last question each. Dana goes first and asks Ali why she thinks she should get her vote. Ali puts on her best beauty pageant smile, dons her “voice of confidence” and barks. Shame about the voice, it spoils the effect. Ali deserves to win in her own mind because of the way she played the game and won competitions. She worked hard. Yeah. Right. I’d say “working hard” fits if she’s an apprentice hooker.

Does Jun have regrets? Only that she got into fights and had to show her nasty side. What fights? I thought that was all play-acting to hide her alliance with Jee.

Nathan greets Ali and she beams her best hooker-in-training smile. He wants to know why she kept from him her alliance with Justin. ROFL. Why do you think, brainbox? If you knowing would have helped her, she’d have told you.

Jun is asked why she jumped ship with Dana instead of staying with original alliance? Is Nate 6 yrs old? His questions are more juvenile than even Michelle’s would have been. Jun predictably thought it was the best move.

Justin asks Ali what she considers her most dishonest moment. Answer is something about hooking up with the Dream Team and then warning them that she wasn’t “100%” with them on the Erika/Jack thing. Liar. That was one of her more truthful moments.

“Jun, was cooking a strategy?” Why yes, Justin, yes it was. Snotbert has the nerve to roll his eyes as she explains it was a multi-purpose strategy. She’d learn people’s eating habits and custom-prepare meals to get in good. She used the kitchen as a vantage point to keep tabs on the comings & goings. (She was also able to eat all day long, but doesn’t mention this aspect of her decision.)

Jack asks Ali why when she was HOH she lied about nominating Justin. So people would not know about their alliance. D’oh. I expected something more FBI-ish from Jack.

Jack thinks he and Jun were in an alliance. “So why’d you evict me?” Jun informs Jack that in fact they were never in an official alliance together. Since when was Jun an X?

Jee wants to know if Ali feels she’s been honourable. And apparently there were times when she felt was, and she sounds disappointed to say so.

Jee asks Jun why she thinks she’s more deserving. She hates to say it, but it’s because she did not use the powers of persuasion like Ali did. She did not kiss people, did not fall into bed or whisper stuff at the door. (Jury gasps.) I’m sorry to have to say this, but the only reason Jun didn’t fall into bed is that no-one invited her. If Nathan had snapped his fingers her way, she'd have dropped and spread 'em.

Erika says to Ali, “You told me you could not vote for somebody who told you you were safe and then voted you out. How do you expect me to vote for you?” Ouch. Ali feels Erika rode on her coattails. OOF. Way to lose that vote, sunshine. Ali feels she isn’t getting the credit for how hard she worked!

Erika asks Jun if personal attacks was a strategy. Answer: “Part of dealing with stress is to find humor. What I find funny is to make personal attacks. I’m sure I’ll see people making attacks at me.” (Erika and Snotbert are shown saying Bad Answer.) But I have to concur. It’s very stress-relieving to write these snarky recaps.

Snotbert wants to know if Jun planned to float. She says she knew she didn’t want to be in an alliance with 8 people. The alliance with Dana would be short-lived as it was too obvious. She was late joining the DreamTeam alliance. It’s not really an answer to the question.

Snotbert asks Ali how long the F2 were in an alliance and Alisnore says “As soon as Nathan was taken from me.” Oh my, the melodrama is too much, I must lay down. Ali thought she was better than Jun, intellectually, psychologically. The inflated opinion she has of herself is beyond belief.

Jun makes her final plea: “We – Ali & I – are both strong women and we made risky choices. Had to decide who to hurt and who to leave alone for the week. Hopefully you’ll look at the differences in my game and Ali’s game and in there you’ll find the answer that I hope you’ll find and vote for me.” Queen Jun Has Spoken.

Ali’s plea begins with asking them to consider what a player is. It's a not so subtle hint that her POV and HOH wins qualify her for “player” status. She asks the Jury to keep in mind that 5 out 10 weeks she made it impossible for others to evict her. Bad move. She should keep in mind that that’s part of what made everyone so utterly sick of the sight of her.

Afterwards, Jun fools Ali into thinking she's worried about losing, “Erika seemed a little upset. Everybody did it (meaning, made personal attacks.)"

Ali replies, “No Jun, everybody did not.” Wipe that smug smirk off your face Alisnot you little sh!t. You were one of the worst offenders.

The Airsickness Bags Are Overhead
Each of the Jurors makes a final statement in the DR about the vote. It's just another attempt to mislead us into thinking not just that Ali has a chance of receiving one vote, but that she could receive enough votes to win.

Jack takes another kick at the synonym can, “Jun played a very very smart game. Alison played a terrific game in terms of endurance stamina & pure guts.”

For Dana it’s a tough decision. "Alison played us all, and just might deserve to win." Dana looks sick at the thought and I wonder how I’m going to write this summary.

Nathan makes Word Salad: “Ah cain’t frown upon that Ali was so disrespectful cuz everyone lied in the house and said bad things about others. Jun played the same way.”

Justin says, “If we’re gonna vote on who made it thru the pressure and overcame the odds, then we’d have to vote for Alison. But Jun’s plan, her gameplan was very solid.”

Jee reckons Alison deserves to win BB4 because of the fact she is such a good competitor. Obviously he had a comment about Jun that was left out to cause the very reaction I’m having, feeling really sick.

Erika is sickened by Jun and says she shouldn’t win because she personally attacked a lot of people in the house. She says, “I’m really against that in terms of how to play this game.” Oh really? Is that so, Erika?

Snotbert is voting for the person he least likes but whom he thinks played the game better. That’s how he knows he’s voting fairly. That’s how I know he makes it all about him. So, Snotbert doesn’t like the person he’s voting for, eh? Hmm. Just as phoney as the next snot, is what he’s really saying. What was all that “I love you Jun, I love you Ali” crap he spouted when he was evicted?

Voting’s A B!tch
You know the Key Drill, by now, don’t you? We don’t see which key the Jurors select from the two keys with their names. For once I’m hoping Ali is not getting the shaft. Justin smirks as he places a key in the box. Snotbert struggles as if, rather than the decision itself, it is the fact that he isn’t really sure how the keys go into the box.

Everyone has a look of defeat. So they should! They lost!!!

BB got the Jury to cast their votes several days before this finale was put together. Questions put to the Jurors elicited negative and positive DR comments for each F2. The praise for Ali, such as it was, and the negativity towards Jun were for one reason only. When I heard Dana saying Ali deserves to win, I had flashbacks to S6’s Christy. Should have been a slam-dunk to figure it out.

Too Many To Mention
After ads, the Jury is sequestered in separate rooms to watch the whole season. We watch them take in just a few of those golden moments.

* Snotbert sees Erika call him a lying cheating son of a b!tch. He hits himself in the forehead, like “d’uh”

* Erika laughs her head off to see & hear Jun says she is the person with the least sense of fashion in the house.

* Nate sees himself saving Ali and twangs, “Nate don’t do it, Nate, don’t do it.” This is so funny. Gosh, he’s pathetic.

* Jee sees Erika calling him “a Korean piece of sh!t, fresh off the boat f#cking immigrant.” Hard to tell if he’s upset.

* When Jack says Dana has the sex appeal of a buzzard’s crotch, her response is, “I would think that’s appealing in Alabama.” Heh.

* Ali saying “A lightbulb went off in my head that the guy turned into a fruit” makes Nate wish a lightbulb had gone off in his head so he wouldn’t have saved her ass. 1000 watts wouldn’t have been enough.

* Ali calls Dana Man-Troll and says she wants to get with the Midget, her ex-boyfriend. Dana’s comment: “Ali doesn’t realize that she looks like the back of my ass.” Yeah – haha. But wouldn’t the back of her ass be her vagina? Yeah, that’s Ali – The Vagina Monologue.

* Justin calls Ali a monster when she says Dana and Justin will have the ugliest babies ever to walk the face of the earth.

Reunited After All These Spears
Julie’s back to tell us all the evicted houseguests (except Scott, cuz they never speak of the ejected) reunited for an opportunity to air grievances raised by the viewing.

The camera focuses on each person, one by one. The tension is thick as peanut butter. Petulant Michelle goes first. Hard to believe, but she is still on the verge of tears. She knows she’s young but all of them, except the exes who nominated her, hurt her more than they’ll ever know.

Cue action replay of her eviction. Dana and Nathan try to explain. Jack reminds her that Jee nominated her in the first place. Jee tells Jack he should have nominated him. Editing takes us to the next complainant.

Dana couldn’t believe the name-calling. Erika’s Man-Troll comment. Jack’s Buzzard’s Crotch. Erika goes, “Oh but you have to understand a lot of it was strategic.” Dana counters, “You were in a room by yourself.” Ha! Erika does “It’s not me it’s the stress.” Jack apologizes, saying he doesn’t feel that way at all. Then in the DR, he launches into a story about growing up in the outback of southern West Virginia and having an attraction to a buzzard. The buzzard reminded him of Dana, he explains. Jack has officially severed his ties with the FBI with that comment.

Jee quotes Erika’s comment as being the only thing that bothered him, He goes “let me quote you.” We see Erika do her stuff, cuz Jee actually can't remember it word-for-word.

Nathan felt bad for Jee. Nate, the walking bleeding heart. Erika makes more excuses! She admits she wasn’t herself and this was said out of anger. She DRs her grandparents were immigrants and truly deep down in her heart she doesn’t feel that way. Deep deep deep way down. Under those 38 double Ds it’s quite a trek to the deep down heart. He grudgingly accepts her apology.

Snotbert gets to be the one to DR his shock at learning that somebody got laid on this show. It only took four seasons of picking young, sometimes even attractive people, and making them run around in next to nothing every minute of the day. Snotbert wants credit from David for the room, getting the wine ready, and providing the condoms. David risks catching a cold by going over to shake Snotbert’s hand. Amanda looks a little skeptical about being hugged by Snotbert. Michelle wipes away a tear.

Amanda DRs about keeping the level of intimacy a secret at the time. Michelle’s disgust at their actions on national television and that of her family is silly! She announces that her dad said David is not welcome in their house. Well, I’m sure that weighs heavily on David’s mind. Not! Michelle worked the moment, glad for a reason to make everyone look at her some more. Would it have been better if she’d stayed and Alisnore had departed early? 6 of one…

Justin is upset about Jee’s alliance with Jun. His own Dream Team member! The nerve! Justin is upset that their fights were for show. Dude, c’mon, keeping alliances a secret in a house with no privacy is the basic premise of the show. Jee defends himself for the indefensible. We see flashbacks to the fighting. He tells the group he was trying to use her as a tool. The DTs congratulate themselves on being deep, while Jun is shallow and insecure.

Snotbert is upset about the stuff Ali said about his daughter, it’s unforgivable and he’ll never speak to her again. Justin and Jee chime in that she must really not care what people think about her. Myself, I think she views her scorn and derision as some of her honorable features. Jack says it was a game. He’ll congratulate both of them.

Dana sums up in DR that the round table discussion went well and it was good to get stuff off their chests. Jee DRs that he is anxious to learn who the winner is. May the best woman win. Indeed.

Can You Say, It’s Over?
Here’s Julie ready to dish with the whole group live in the interview room outside the house. Julie’s contract calls for one final interrogation of the Houseguests.

Dana is in a crème top and dark skirt. She acknowledges it was a bonus meeting Justin but refuses to say whether there is a romantic future for the two of them. They “don’t talk about it.” They take it day by day and will deal with it when it happens. Uh, newsflash? The game is over and now’s the time to figure it out. Justin, in a red top and black pants, says they’re definitely compatible but the geography works against them. What, one of them couldn’t move?

Michelle is in some kind of contraption of a top and dress pants. She admits that she’s already gone back on her vow to never speak to David again. Apparently it was “unavoidable.” David is wearing a shmutter loose top and baggy jeans. He goes, “I got scars Julie.” Beyond this will there be contact? Michelle: “If he’s lucky.” David: “If she’s lucky. Like, juvenile to the max.

Snotbert is in a white shirt and black pants. He definitely wants to be friends with Erika. Just friends. Erika definitely doesn’t want to be friends, except she’s joking. She is a bad girl. She’s in an animal print dress that shows off the assets.

Amanda is in her best hooker outfit. Black top with bra straps showing and tiny skirt with diagonal stripes. She says she won’t be moving to California to pursue a relationship with David. David gasps, but he’s playing up to the cameras. He goes, “Why change your whole life?” He means, for a one-night stand.

Nathan has chosen a beige loose-fitting top and blue jeans. He will never speak to Alison again. Julie pushes, “Really? You seem to have a forgiving heart, and that’s why I say that.” Nate mumbles something about the stuff she said in the DR is hardly unforgiveable. Um? That would mean you could forgive it. He really meant it when he said he’s not the brains of the outfit.

Jee is in a pale blue shirt and grey slacks. He has already forgiven Erika for her racial slurs against him and hopes she learns from her mistake. She looks suitably contrite.

Jack is wearing a gray suede shirt and black slacks. He reckons the FBI will not have him back after his strawberry escapade. Way to get out of honoring those promises to Justin about getting him a job in the FBI.

It’s time for the HGs to re-enter the house to reveal the winner. Nate carries the heavy vote box.

Congratulations, Lesser of Two Evils
Doorbell rings. Inside the two girls are dressed in nice black dresses that make them look like twins because Ali has really chunked on the pounds since last week. They waddle over to the front door.

Erika breezes in, “Hello ladies.” She walks right by without so much as a hand on an elbow. The tone is set. There are no hugs from anyone, until David comes in and puts an arm around Jun. I think he was checking her pudge. Ali seems a little put out and wrong-footed by the lack of eye contact, lack of smiles and lack of hugs. She and Jun perhaps don’t know that the evictees have already seen the whole season and haven’t had a chance to express their miffiness to them personally. Not that it would have made a difference, I reckon.

Snotbert races over to the seating area to snag a seat beside one of the F2 chairs. Typical Snotbert, basking in reflected glory.

As promised, Ali is doing her best impression of a Halloween pumpkin with her big fake-y smile. God I hate that look. I’m not nostalgic at all that this season is over.

With 20 minutes left, ads. There haven’t been nearly as many breaks for this finale, as in other live shows.

Back and Julie recrapiterates her usual intro. She is wearing a cream suit jacket with beige camisole and animal print pants. She turns to talk to the HGs via the plasma screen. She tells them it takes 4 votes to be the winner, but all keys will be revealed even if someone has won before the end.

Dana tells them she lost a lot of respect after seeing the tapes, BUT they did make it to the end. She has chosen the lesser of two evils and it’s a vote for Jun.

Justin congratulates them. They implemented a flawless strategy. After watching the tapes he is severely disappointed how they played outside of strategy. Which means? Since he would rather be front-stabbed than back-stabbed, he votes for Jun.

Nathan is disappointed. He expected it from Jun but Ali was a surprise. He votes for Ali.

Jack votes for Jun because she is absolutely the smartest player in the house. Congratulations.

Jee congratulates both and gives credit because he wouldn’t be able to sacrifice respect for others in order to win the money. He votes for Jun. She looks upset.

Erika congratulates the ladies and mumbles something that I think is supposed to mean that she wasn’t going to vote for the one who kicked her out of the house, so her vote is for Jun.

Snotbert votes for Jun and makes no other comment, good or bad.

Julie congratulates Jun. By a vote of 6-1 she is the winner. There is polite handclapping. It is VERY low-key, and even Julie comments upon it. David I think it is says, “I vote to evict Julie.” She says she’s outta there, but first…

Julie tells Jun that her ex Bob is outside, and Jun looks a little surprised and as if she will start crying right there. Ali’s parents are there, but there is no mention of Donnie, for which I’m glad, for his sake. Julie asks the two winners to lead the housemates out the door. As they run to the door Ali gives Jun a kiss on the cheek. Jun is dissolving into tears even before she is scooped up by Bob. On re-watching the tape I can hear Jun saying, “I was scared you wouldn’t be here.”

Ali’s parents surround their little ball of sunshine, no doubt proud of their hell-raiser for bringing home a year’s tuition.

After the Math
After another ad break Julie gets her last kick at the cans of Jun and Ali. Ali: “They hate us.” Jun: “ They are not happy that we won and I don’t think they wanted to vote for either of us, in all honesty.” It took away from the win for Jun, as she was more focused on what they were saying, than on the votes.

Ali goes on with her delusional yack about it being “just a game”, so moving along. Jun is so happy that Bob is here and can’t wait to spend time with him (hint hint.) Julie has a message for Ali from Donnie, which she reads aloud. She looks ready to burst into tears over his mixed-emotions message. But the note ends “Love Donnie.” Julie pushes for commentary, but Ali is pleased to just hear something. Am I evil for wanting to slap the wobble off her chin?

Julie asks if Jun & Ali are going to be the best of friends now, and Jun says, “No. No. No. No.” Ali gushes over how much Jun’s company meant to her during the last week. Then Ali says that of all in the House, she will definitely remain closest to Jun. Either Jun didn’t say “No” enough, or that’s AliSpeak for “I won’t be talking to anyone from this game.” Jun hopes to remain in contact with Jack, because he gave her credit.

After yet another ad break containing yet another half-assed ad for Survivor, Oy veh! Julie is back with the whole BB4 cast, to wave goodbye and get their last 2 minutes of airtime in.

The HGs mingle at the front of the house, and the camera pans inside. There, on the couch, is our pal Mime watching them on the plasma screen, eating PB&J with a glass of milk in his hand. LOL He seems to be humming as if to say, “Finally I can get some peace & quiet around here.”

See ya next summer. Thanks for reading.