To: Nigel
Re: American Idol
Subject: GoodbyeHere's the core of it: you're boring.
We have reached the point where I can tell whether your panel of paid puppets is going to praise or try to bury a singer before they ever perform. In some cases, I can predict this several weeks in advance. I suppose watching them squirm as they try to go counter to what actually happened on stage while pretending they ever had credibility at all might amuse some, but it's happened so often now as to become routine, mundane, and yawn-inducing.
Your song catalog is in full retreat to the year 1890. Yes, that was some great old music. It is also the same old music and you trot it out every single year. There have been wonderful compositions played in the past decade, but you wouldn't know because you won't listen to them, pay for their rental, or acknowledge anything beyond your show's birth year unless a former contestant did it. Sometimes not even that. If I want to rock out to one of your typical theme weeks -- well, no one can do that: at best, they can ballad out. So if I want to ballad out to one of your typical theme weeks, there's generally a Civil War recreation playing near me. The judging there is admittedly harsh, but nicely final.
You no longer have an Agenda: you have a script. Who believes votes are still being counted? Not much of your audience. Your show has become the karaoke version of WWE: the smart marks know who's supposed to win and no matter what how badly the moves are brought across, the commentators will still try to sell them while the crowd chants 'You suck!' and gets ignored. The victor was predetermined and no reality of talent can change that. Sabotage the males, kiss up to the evangelicals, watch the download sales and interest plummet to the point where no one even steals off the torrent sites, possibly repeat because you're not capable of learning from the experience. Those who are still falling for your Most Popular Wins routine have either deluded themselves because their personal chosen one might be the most popular or are too stupid to realize what's going on. What a choice of groups you're offering people for identifying themselves with.
I know exactly what's going to happen. When, to whom, and why. And as part of that knowledge, here's what I know I'm going to do.
Leave.
You.
Because you're boring.
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BoringInsult
And you know it -- don't you?