LAST EDITED ON 01-02-13 AT 12:21 PM (EST)1. Once again defying common sense and the physical constraints of this reality, Obama immediately blames it on GWB.
2. Democrats (and most Republicans) are astonished to find that there is a worse fate than having Palin elected Vice President.
3. Obama realizes that having terrorists break in to the White House and feed Michelle into a wood chipper wouldn’t be the worst thing that could happen. In his inner soul he acknowledges that that doesn't even break into the top ten.
4. Mitt realizes that losing to Obama wasn’t the worst thing in the world, after all. It's actually therapeutic for him.
OK, enough with the political takes on this. At the cost of so many Biden comparisons).
5. Kingfish realizes that there might actually be something worse than this freaking flu. Might. And dying isn't one of them.
6. The Mayans are wondering “What were we worried about? End of the world? Pffft. Son of KK-K is the real mega-calamity."
7. Speaking of which, Stephen King was looking for an idea for his new book…