Here's what I know about 'beating' video poker.

1. You generally have to stay at the same machine, and that machine has to be carefully chosen based on the payout table. Not many ideal machines exist.

2. You have to play perfectly. No finger slips, no tired fumbles, no saying 'but I feel a flush coming on'. For hours. Sometimes days. And if you have the right machine and do everything right, your expected losses are less than one percent -- which still means you're just hoping to get lucky.

3. It requires that you bring a playing budget of no less than three times the machine's jackpot. Your typical video poker machine plays five cash units at the maximum bet and pays eight hundred to one on a natural royal flush. For a dollar machine, that's the $4000 mentioned above. So you'd need $12,000 to gamble with just to make sure you came very close to almost breaking even.

And:

4. Even if you personally do everything right, there are going to be bad days.

Really, really bad days.

The article which taught me about Dewey Droppings also taught me about Bean City, which is the professional gambler's term for dropping $100,000 in a single night. It is meant to be looked at as an achievement, because you have to be rolling really well if you can lose that much.

The logic escaped me and then crawled into a hole to cry.

As for blackjack? Do you really think it's coincidence that the game's language asks the casino to hit you?