LAST EDITED ON 08-30-12 AT 09:09 AM (EST)

I can't believe you all were so eager to share about this. But, like skye, I've been through this, and so . . .

1. What would you do if you found out your partner/spouse had cheated on you?

My first reaction was utter shock. Sleeping with our next-door neighbor? Then I felt stupid for not having figured it out. Heck, I probably wouldn't have figured it out if my wife hadn't asked me to fix her e-mail account, where she still had messages to her lover, along with a plan to hook up the next day.

2. Does it matter if it were a long-term deal or just a one-night fling?

Believe it or not, I was less bothered that it was a long-term deal. My wife has serious issues with both mental illness and alcoholism, and I was actually relieved that she wasn't out just looking for casual hook-ups (because we'd been through that before, a story which I'd prefer not to discuss).

3. Does your opinion change if alcohol/drunkeness was a contributing factor?

See answer 2.

4. What if it weren't the first time?

Without going into details, it wasn't. My condition, though, was that, after she came back out of the mental hospital (where she'd checked herself in because the breakup was so hard on her!?), it had to be the last.

5. Any other thoughts/questions/comments?

The other couple still lives next door to us. But since then, my kids have gone from 7 and 6 to 16 and 15, and I felt that it was important to keep their lives as stable as possible when they were young. Was I right? I'll ask them in a few years.