Heard this again today, and for some reason it struck me, "Parents do not bury their children."

Considering for most of human history you hoped you didn't bury all your children, and having both parents live long enough to be grandparents was uncommon. I mean usually someone in the village lived that long and was the elder everyone went to, but rare was the family that was intact for several generations at the same time.

I was just wondering how much burden that puts on the parents who have kids die. How lonely it must feel to not only be grieving your child but to feel it isn't a shared human experience and that you are the only one (or one of the few).

Do we treat our children differently because we expect them to be immortal (or at least live longer than us) rather than always having to be with the uncertainty that they may not make it?

Is it because one of my summer school classmates died early? Or that I always knew Mom had a miscarriage and there should have been 4 of us not just 3. Or the death totals on the TV during the Vietnam War and being the kid of a WWII vet and just being clear that lots of stuff kills people way too young? In addition to the death total from my brother's high school class as it seemed better to die from drunk driving before being sent overseas to die.

For some reason I never bought into the idea that it is a near requirement that kids must outlive their parents, meaning if that doesn't happen you have not only had your loss but somehow violated the natural order of things.

I hope the parents I just saw on TV get the support and find out they are not nearly as alone as they seemed. Lots of people lose their kids. It is a terrible tragedy every time it happens, but I just don't see why our culture seems to have added the burden of it shouldn't/can't/never happens to anyone else.

Sorry if this touched anyone's tender spots. Just musing on when this cultural change hit, and how it effects all the millions of parents that are the "exception" to the rule, when they used to be the rule.