With football over and the PTC eagerly looking to enforce their brand of non-justice on CBS, the local papers have switched their focus to baseball. Both tabloids have the resident teams as their lead stories -- one paper, one team. It's only a week until pitchers and catchers report, so some kind of coverage would be understandable in this slow sports time. And what are our stories today?
The Daily News has a leak from the Alex Rodriguez legal/PR camp. According to this carefully-crafted rumor release, the player in question continues to declare his innocence regarding the latest PED drug charges. Those charges are false. And contrived. And invented. Especially invented. Because he has decided there is a Conspiracy. That's right: someone is out to Get Him by Ruining His Reputation, giving the team a reason to Take His Money Away and cost him any Hall Of Fame induction which he wasn't going to receive anyway, and the reason he wasn't going to get in was? The Conspiracy. So as the paper proudly proclaims, he is now -- Par-A-Roid.
(It would sound a lot more credible if he played for Boston.)
Not to outdone, the Post is focusing on the Queens boys. They're in some financial trouble, as you might have heard. A little Ponzi, a little payroll cut, a whole lot of lawsuits. The team claims not to be making money and a lot of people believe them. As such, they have asked the city if they can place a new building on the CitiField lands. Something which will bring the team a little more income. Something guaranteed to funnel cash into the franchise.
They are asking for their very own casino.
So the count is now Ball 3, Strike 2, and Red 25. Any time this weak offense puts up a snowman, it was automatically a hard eight to begin with and now? It's harder. Want to comp your hot dog? Beers in the stadium are eight dollars for a half-full cup, but wander across the parking lot and liquor up for free all night long! Say, any truth to the rumor I just started about Pete Rose being the next manager? And the slot machine reels come up Playoffs -- Playoffs -- No @#$%ing Way!
Is it fall yet?
Some of you have to be doing better than this.