We're about due for eleven hours of total letdown, don't you think? The game's on CBS, so we can count on the pregame drag being exceptionally meaningless. Half the commercials have debuted already and the other half are hiding. Ray Lewis will be on camera every single minute, although part of that might be his being forced into an on-the-spot urination. (This will not be mentioned during the pregame show. Nor will anything else.) The halftime show should be openly lipsynched. I'm personally expecting a minimum of five fumbles, four of which may be made by Ray Rice. No matter who wins, the homophobes get to celebrate. The President will pick the most politically expedient team, which in this case probably means the Pelicans. And the coaches are related. In case you haven't heard. Which you have. And will hear again. Sixty times per hour. For the rest of the day.

...it's not even ten in the morning and I already wish the game was over.

I'm going back to bed.