They sure aren't hitters: the last two games saw a total of five in the column. How does an entire team have a simultaneous power and average outage like that? Ask the Mets...

Front page of the Post was a baseball inscribed with a message to the team from the city, informing the Bronxies that New York doesn't date losers. It just elects them to the mayorship. And A-Rod won't be running for a while, unless it's to Miami.

GM Brian Cashman claims they're not going to change their Weaveresque strategy of waiting for the three-run homer because they are, quote, not the Bronx Bunters, unquote. Really? How about the Bronx Move A Runner Over From First? The Bronx Take A Pitch Once A Century? At this point, I'm sure the fanbase would have settled for the Bronx Lean Into The Pitch, The Pain Will Wear Off Eventually.

And now we get treated to a fall, winter, and possibly spring of A-Rod trade rumors. Gee, there's the gift that keeps on giving. How much of his contract would the Yankees be willing to pick up? Would the Mets do an even swap for Jason Bay? Can the Lightning Rod extort a few extra million for waiving his no-trade clause? And as noted on sports talk radio today, when this guy goes into the Hall Of Fame in a decade or so, is anyone gonna show up? Seattle: alienated. Texas: wants nothing to do with him. New York: lost. He'll be introduced by the one man he ever made happy: his agent. And he'll have to pay for the honor.

Let's turn back to the sports talk stations for a moment. Trade Cano. Release. Trade, release, and flay. Dump the entire team. Sign most of Detroit and call them the new Yankees. Treat both leagues as the farm system. Who's a free agent? Who can we get for cash? Doesn't matter: it's not a real season because it never happened: a real season is when the Yankees win and since that didn't take place, rewind and erase. And sign the Cy Young winner. From both leagues. At eighty million a year each. Then complain about not being able to afford a game ticket any more.

There are rational Yankee fans, but they never seem to make the air.