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Canada Girl 3340 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity" 08-08-03, 06:21 PM (EST) "Official TAR4, Ep. 11 Summary: TAR JAWS - So scary you'll pee your pants" Alright boys and girls, sit yourselves down and get ready for the funniest hour of reality TV we've had in a while. Last week on the Amazing Race: -Teams travel to Korea -One male member of each team completes a frigid underwater swim. All four men shout as they leave the water “It’s shrinkage, SHRINKAGE! For the love of god, please, turn the camera away!” -Kelly spends hours breaking boards after Jon suggest “Imagine it’s my face, hit my face!” -It’s a non-elimination and they all move on. Seoul, South Korea, Palace Pit Stop. There is some useless cheesy foreshadowing about Jon and Kelly maybe using the fast forward because of her mangled hand. Jon and Kelly, followed by Chip and Reichen leave first and head for Gangbang, sorry… Hangang Park. Reichen asks Chip “Where do you think Yanni-do Park is?” Chip has no idea. No idea, really? You must study up on your Korea park knowledge Chip! We then get a side interview with Reichen saying, “When we’re really intense and forget to have fun at all, it’s really crippling.” Translation “I’m not getting any!” Clowns leave pit stop looking for Yoda Island. John asks, “Where the hell is Yoda Island?” Al has no idea. No idea, really? You must study up… etc. We then get a side interview absolutely PACKED with cheesy typical TAR lines “It’s do or die, you have to be on your toes, every minute counts.” Yes, yes, boys, we know you’ve studied up on TAR lingo, now get going. Back in their cab, the tension gets to Chip and he transforms into… UGLY AMERICAN. “Chip…ANGRY! Cab driver not speak English! Why not speak English? Listen, Chip can say ‘Please, Please, Please’ in Korean!” Short pause for me to laugh and make bad sexual innuendos about the only Korean word Chip knows… and off we go. Chip is so angry at the Korean speaking cab driver by the end of the ride that he threatens not to pay him by making the international fingers rubbing together “I’ll pay you” symbol. That’ll teach him, Chip! The clues are on kites in the air. Clowns get the clue. Jon destroys half of the set up, then gets the clue. Reichen and Chip get the clue, giving me another innuendo laugh at Chip shouting, “Here it is, grab it Reichen!” and Reichen saying “What? The clue?” Hey, I’m not even making this up, folks! David and Jeff eventually leave and get the clue too. Everyone heads to the airport to catch flights to Brisbane, Australia. A fog comes down on their way to the airport. Kelly says she’s never seen anything like it. Now friends, tell me, where, WHERE is she living that she has never seen fog. Never? Big-time foreshadowing warning: Clowns are at the airport. They make the call to book their flight, are told that flight is their only option. And then… the slow-motion phone hang up. Now we’ve all been watching TAR for a while now and we know, the slow-motion shot is DOOM. And when the slow-mo shot is followed by scary fast techno music, a team is in BIG trouble. And yes, all teams get on a good flight except the clowns. They get a direct flight leaving some time later and arriving sometime later. The audience doesn’t get to find out when because it would affect the fabulous TAR editing plan. On Australian soil, David and Jeff decide to go for the Fast Forward. At this point, Phil gets a voice-over telling us to remember, “A Fast Forward does not guarantee victory.” Oh shut it, Phil, we’re on to you and the fake TAR suspense! Nice try. Kelly and Jon hop on the train and Chip and Reichen hop in a cab, all heading for a Holiday Inn. Reichen comments on how nice it is to have English speaking cab drivers. Meanwhile in Korean, the Mayor of Seoul announces the “Chip Leaving Korea” festival. The taxi driver cheers are deafening! Detour. Remember folks, a Detour is a choice between two task: One, scary and fast, the other boring and slow. They all choose to rappel face first down the side of the hotel. Chip and Jon go first. Chip, who apparently spent his childhood reading Katy Keene and Betty and Veronica comics yells, “Spiderman, here we are!” when he hits the ground. Reichen and Kelly go next. About half way down Kelly gives us a horrible insight into what she may sound like in bed, moaning and grunting while she screams “I hate this, I hate it!” Shudder… They all finish and hop into cars to drive themselves to Underwater World (insert bad Kevin Costner movie joke here). Cut to the Fast Forward. David and Jeff have to rescue a victim from the water via surfboards. And they SUCK at it! To the relaxing sounds of Hawaiian music, they try again and again to pick up a girl with their surfing prowess. Jeff says it was harder because the surfboard was bigger and the water was 80 degrees not the 60 degrees he’s used to. Wait a minute, warmer water makes it harder? What, were your muscles so relaxed that you couldn’t perform? Not being numb from the neck down put you off your game? Meanwhile (or at least meanwhile according to the TAR editing team), the Clowns do the rappel and head for Underwater World. Cut to Underwater World and J&K and R&C. Roadblock! Kelly (whose bio says she is afraid of sharks) thinks she should do it. Jon points out that “We’ve got to beat these guys” and takes it himself, joined by Reichen. They don scuba gear and prepare to walk through a huge tank filled with 100 sharks. They are told to keep their arms together and that they are “Not allowed to step on the sharks.” Not allowed? Damn your ridiculous rules! Cue Shark music and the funniest scene I have ever seen are on TAR: Jon walks through the water while Kelly frantically waves and bangs on the glass. You can see in Jon’s eyes what he is thinking: “Stop…banging…on…the…glass…you…stupid…cow.” It gets better: Reichen is walking along when right up behind him comes a shark. This shot couldn’t have gone better if they were drawing it for a Looney Tunes cartoon. Reichen, with gigantic shark behind him, starts waving his arms around. Chip freaks out, pointing to the shark. Reichen sees it and…right there…pees his scuba pants on national TV. Pit Stop race begins! Kelly reads the clue “Make your way on foot to the pit stop, on foot Babe!” Chip also reads the “On foot” part out loud then he and Reichen run to their truck to drive to the pit stop. David and Jeff arrive first. A hot Australian girl welcomes them. For some reason they seem happier to see her than the scary warrior men who usually greet them! They win a trip, bla bla bla, are in the final three. Meanwhile, Clowns do the shark thing, very…very…slowly. Reichen and Chip beat Jon and Kelly to the Pit Stop but discover they have earned a 35 minute penalty for cheating. Now they have to wait to see if Jon and Al can make it there in 35 minutes. Jon and Al arrive. We’ll never know how long it actually took them to get there, could be 36 minutes, could be 3.6 hours. That’s for the TAR editing team to know and us to swear and complain about. Cue sad music and moving words as the clowns say their goodbyes. Sniff…sob… they were no Kevin and Drew from TAR1, but we liked them nonetheless. Bye boys. Hugs all round with the other teams. Cheeseball mission statements from the teams include: “There is only a winner and nothing else” and “You haven’t seen nothing yet”. Oh good, I was worried. Next Week: -It’s the final three. -There are kangaroos, horses and physical threats. Reichen and Chip wanna punch someone, we’ll assume it’s Kelly and Jon and not the horses. -Reichen’s foot gets run over by a truck. Possibly Jon and Kelly’s truck? Now that would be something we haven’t seen yet! -Some sort of land ski-doo flips over with a team inside. BUM BUM BUM BUMMMMMMMMMM. It’s getting good, folks, the cheesy mission statements say it all!   Top

Subject     Author     Message Date     ID    RE: Official TAR4, Ep. 11 Summary: ... PlumBlossom 08-08-03 1    RE: Official TAR4, Ep. 11 Summary: ... Violet Nyte 08-08-03 3        RE: Official TAR4, Ep. 11 Summary: ... Ruthless 08-09-03 5  RE: Official TAR4, Ep. 11 Summary: ... Breezy 08-08-03 2  RE: Official TAR4, Ep. 11 Summary: ... Steen 08-08-03 4  RE: Official TAR4, Ep. 11 Summary: ... I_AM_HE 08-10-03 6  RE: Official TAR4, Ep. 11 Summary: ... Bucky Katt 08-10-03 7  RE: Official TAR4, Ep. 11 Summary: ... true 08-10-03 8  RE: Official TAR4, Ep. 11 Summary: ... wildchickenhunter 08-11-03 9  RE: Official TAR4, Ep. 11 Summary: ... dajaki 08-11-03 10  RE: Official TAR4, Ep. 11 Summary: ... Bebo 08-11-03 11  RE: Official TAR4, Ep. 11 Summary: ... Schnookie Palookie 08-11-03 12  RE: Official TAR4, Ep. 11 Summary: ... tig_ger 08-11-03 13  RE: Official TAR4, Ep. 11 Summary: ... Tarkus 08-12-03 14  RE: Official TAR4, Ep. 11 Summary: ... L82LIFE 08-12-03 15  RE: Official TAR4, Ep. 11 Summary: ... Edgeless Grass 08-12-03 16

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PlumBlossom 679 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator" 08-08-03, 06:45 PM (EST) 1. "RE: Official TAR4, Ep. 11 Summary: TAR JAWS - So scary you'll pee your pants" Great Summary, Canada Girl. My favorite line: Cut to Underwater World and J&K and R&C. Roadblock! Kelly (whose bio says she is afraid of sharks) thinks she should do it. Jon points out that “We’ve got to beat these guys” and takes it himself, joined by Reichen. They don scuba gear and prepare to walk through a huge tank filled with 100 sharks. They are told to keep their arms together and that they are “Not allowed to step on the sharks.” Not allowed? Damn your ridiculous rules! LOL an IceCat original   Top

Violet Nyte 165 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 08-08-03, 07:18 PM (EST) 3. "RE: Official TAR4, Ep. 11 Summary: TAR JAWS - So scary you'll pee your pants" Ditto! What are those silly Australians thinking?!   Top

Ruthless 281 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star" 08-09-03, 07:19 AM (EST) 5. "RE: Official TAR4, Ep. 11 Summary: TAR JAWS - So scary you'll pee your pants" We're pretty funny like that - we can't have all these tourists walking all over our sharks. If we let tourists walk all over them, there'd be none left for us to walk on!!! I'm so looking foward to seeing this episode - episode 1 is this Wednesday, 13 August, so provided it doesn't get bumped for other garbage, it should be on 22 October. I found it interesting that Chip and Reichen caught a taxi from Brisbane Airport to the Holiday Inn while Jon and Kelly took a train. Was there much time difference in their arrival at the hotel? Depending on traffic and train departure times, taking a taxi can be a risk due to traffic delays, though there is a new road now which cuts off a lot of potential traffic jam spots between the Airport and that part of Brisbane. I've also sat on a Brisbane train for a hour due to a breakdown, so catching the train also had the potential for delay, but I think they have bettern procedures in place for getting broken-down trains out of the way now than way back when I was commuting to Brisbane for work.   Top

Breezy 18380 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 08-08-03, 06:51 PM (EST) 2. "RE: Official TAR4, Ep. 11 Summary: TAR JAWS - So scary you'll pee your pants" LAST EDITED ON 08-08-03 AT 06:53 PM (EST) Great summary!!! Reichen sees it and…right there…pees his scuba pants on national TV. LOL Still waiting patiently for IceCat to give me a nose, so I can mourn the passing of the clowns properly. *Breezy ... keeping OT satisfied since 2003*   Top

Steen 1544 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Peanut Festival Grand Marshall" 08-08-03, 07:24 PM (EST) 4. "RE: Official TAR4, Ep. 11 Summary: TAR JAWS - So scary you'll pee your pants" Awesome Summary! I cant stop laughing! Jon walks through the water while Kelly frantically waves and bangs on the glass. You can see in Jon’s eyes what he is thinking: “Stop…banging…on…the…glass…you…stupid…cow.”   Top

I_AM_HE 6123 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 08-10-03, 06:15 PM (EST) 6. "RE: Official TAR4, Ep. 11 Summary: TAR JAWS - So scary you'll pee your pants" great summary CG! some of my favorite lines: It's shrinkage, SHRINKAGE! Damn your ridiculous rules! Back in their cab, the tension gets to Chip and he transforms into… UGLY AMERICAN. “Chip…ANGRY! Cab driver not speak English! Why not speak English? Listen, Chip can say ‘Please, Please, Please’ in Korean!” :O(   Top

Bucky Katt 3146 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity" 08-10-03, 09:47 PM (EST) 7. "RE: Official TAR4, Ep. 11 Summary: TAR JAWS - So scary you'll pee your pants" Great job CG! My favourites included: At this point, Phil gets a voice-over telling us to remember, “A Fast Forward does not guarantee victory.” Oh shut it, Phil, we’re on to you and the fake TAR suspense! Nice try. About half way down Kelly gives us a horrible insight into what she may sound like in bed, moaning and grunting while she screams “I hate this, I hate it!” "How fascinating for you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm due to make a deposit at the local savings and litter box."   Top

true 9689 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 08-10-03, 11:55 PM (EST) 8. "RE: Official TAR4, Ep. 11 Summary: TAR JAWS - So scary you'll pee your pants" Great job CG! I was LOL, especially at these, just a few of my favorite parts- It’s shrinkage, SHRINKAGE! For the love of god, please, turn the camera away!” Meanwhile in Korean, the Mayor of Seoul announces the “Chip Leaving Korea” festival. The taxi driver cheers are deafening! Wait a minute, warmer water makes it harder? What, were your muscles so relaxed that you couldn’t perform? Not being numb from the neck down put you off your game? Thanks!   Top

wildchickenhunter 3192 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity" 08-11-03, 10:35 AM (EST) 9. "RE: Official TAR4, Ep. 11 Summary: TAR JAWS - So scary you'll pee your pants" Thanks CG for the summary!   Top

dajaki 1454 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson" 08-11-03, 11:36 AM (EST) 10. "RE: Official TAR4, Ep. 11 Summary: TAR JAWS - So scary you'll pee your pants" Very funny summary, CG. My favorite bits included: “It’s shrinkage, SHRINKAGE! For the love of god, please, turn the camera away!” “Chip…ANGRY! Cab driver not speak English! Why not speak English? Listen, Chip can say ‘Please, Please, Please’ in Korean!” Meanwhile in Korean, the Mayor of Seoul announces the “Chip Leaving Korea” festival. The taxi driver cheers are deafening!   Top

Bebo 21083 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 08-11-03, 12:06 PM (EST) 11. "RE: Official TAR4, Ep. 11 Summary: TAR JAWS - So scary you'll pee your pants" Now do you peeps see why we couldn't waste this girl on a non-elim week? I was enjoying the shrinkage comments, etc. but as soon as I got to the line about the foreshadowing of the slow motion phone hang-up I was rolling. You were absolutely, positively dead-on! Humor and strong observation - a delightful combination. Bebo, Queen of the Backwoods and your American Idol PTTE co-champ   Top

Schnookie Palookie 16822 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 08-11-03, 12:53 PM (EST) 12. "RE: Official TAR4, Ep. 11 Summary: TAR JAWS - So scary you'll pee your pants" Excellent summary CG! Loved the whole part when they were in the tank with the sharks. Too funny   Top

tig_ger 2098 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Roller Coaster Inaugurator" 08-11-03, 01:22 PM (EST) 13. "RE: Official TAR4, Ep. 11 Summary: TAR JAWS - So scary you'll pee your pants" LOL, Canada Girl!!! A fog comes down on their way to the airport. Kelly says she’s never seen anything like it. Now friends, tell me, where, WHERE is she living that she has never seen fog. Never? She is currently living IN a fog if she thinks she can marry Jon. Although at times, they totally deserve each other. Great summary!!!! A Kyngsladye Original Tig_ger: The Holy Mother of Inclusion   Top

Tarkus 3 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson" 08-12-03, 02:38 AM (EST) 14. "RE: Official TAR4, Ep. 11 Summary: TAR JAWS - So scary you'll pee your pants" Canada Girl... you are TOO funny! Not to mention a rather pointed pen to the point. I truly appreciated the effort you made producing this summary. While not to diminish the previous summaries there is a certain 'light' to this one. Maybe because there are so few groups now that to keep it interesting is more difficult. Regardless may I compliment you on an excellent summary. However with the good always comes the crap... My inane, redundant and unnecessary observations: >-Teams travel to Korea >-One male member of each team >completes a frigid underwater swim. >All four men shout as >they leave the water “It’s >shrinkage, SHRINKAGE! For the love >of god, please, turn the >camera away!” You do realize that in the original shot Kelly did the underwater scene and also complained of shrinkage so they "double dog dared" the producer and got a do-over with Jon as the task master. >Back in their cab, the tension gets to Chip and he >transforms into… UGLY AMERICAN. “Chip…ANGRY! Once again a re-shoot as Chip actually said, "SPEAK AMERICAN!" Actually, as a Canadian, I find this scene nasty not because of how Chip reacted but rather because they set him up to fail in front of us. While I am not a fan of Chip and Dent I can recognize the pain of watching you lose a triple C note because a Korean Taxi driver figures, "hey I don't understand you.. you don't understand me... why don't we just dance on the meter." I mean don't get me wrong Chip's last moments on this planet will be as the Devil pulls his grip from Reichen outstretched hand as the Angels are lifting his partner aloft, but let's keep our evils in context. The poor clowns. Proving that nice guys finish last for a variety of reasons, (other than the obvious manipulation by the Executive Production Illumanti), but foremost because they make the same fatal flaw as us; that just being a good guy will result in success. Ever think of checking other flights BEFORE entertaining the locals with the "watch me balance a live squid on my forehead." But more importantly did that experience change their perception? One can only wonder how the night that followed went as the Clowns, slamming down monster cans of 18% Fosters, headed down to Mercy Australia for its famed Koala stew only to realize that the fare is served in a mix of hot water and chunks of Koala meat, not slices, of the tree dwelling marsupial... not so much a stew as a watery broth... for after all as the clowns would learn; 'the Koala tea of Mercy is not strained'! (say it fast) Okay bad bad bad bad! I deserve whatever thoughts you have... but... Still doesn't it bug anyone else that this show seems to be nothing but "let evil win?" Last year the nicest guy on the planet dragged a woman kicking and screaming to her share of $1,000,000 and now it seems we are all about to be dragged to two more episodes to watch Team Loki, Team Asmodaius or Team Ann Coulter prove themselves the most evil? I find we have lost the soul of these games where doing well has been superceded by being the worst you can be. We all know they all want to win but when did it become so cool to acknowledge to the world that you intend to embrace any behaviour that gets you the money regardless of what is costs your person? We may all accept it that as reality but we don't brag about it. Personally I would be worried. I'm in a tank with 100 sharks and out of professinal courtesy none of them do anything except the one that gives a colour guard escort to Reichen to the chest. Let's not kid ourselves, if we could speak fish the resonation would be, "oh gross... I'm not eating THAT! Just get this stuff out my tank!" So now we're down to the final three. In its not so veiled attempt keep things close and with the knowledge that the final leg is always a 2 mile windsprint we look to Chip and Dent or David and the other guy to win. Jon and Kelly have no chance since Kelly can't run. Man to think after all these years TAR will be resolved as it always has. Maybe it is just me but wouldn't it be fun for once to have two athletic boys like Chip and Dent to arrive and be told, "You're team #2, the two 80 year Nuns arrived on the Red Eye and strolled in two days ago." But where the TV in that right? I was thinking this was a game! Once again CG thanks for the summary. Tarkus   Top

L82LIFE 5333 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 08-12-03, 06:18 PM (EST) 15. "RE: Official TAR4, Ep. 11 Summary: TAR JAWS - So scary you'll pee your pants" She shoots, she SCORES!!! Great summary, CG. I loved it from the beginning to the end. You had me LMAO. BUM BUM BUM BUMMMMMMMMMM. It’s getting good, folks, the cheesy mission statements say it all! Oh yeah!   Top

Edgeless Grass 93 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square" 08-12-03, 09:18 PM (EST) 16. "RE: Official TAR4, Ep. 11 Summary: TAR JAWS - So scary you'll pee your pants" Great Summary! Canada Girl! I truely love the underwater part! It's so funny and so animated! ----------------- Bye!! ---------------------- ~ ~ ' o ' '(X)'   Top

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