And the Tebow looked upon the Jets.

And he looked at one, and said "You desire to be paid for playing a game. That is the sin of greed, and for that I shall cast you into everlasting hellfire."

And he looked at another, and said "You have said you will win this game. That is the sin of pride, and for that I shall cast you into everlasting hellfire."

And he gazed upon a third, and said "You have admitted to sexual attraction towards your wife. That is the sin of lust without the sole intent to procreate, and for that I shall cast you into everlasting hellfire."

And he turned to a fourth, and said "You believe in a deity other than my own. That is the sin of false worship, and for that I shall cast you into everlasting hellfire."

And he gave attention to a fifth, and said "You believe that the rights of one should be the rights of all. That is the sin so stupidly obvious I have yet to name it, and for that I shall cast you into everlasting hellfire."

And the Tebow brought back his mighty arm to cast them all into everlasting hellfire.

But as it turned out, the Tebow couldn't hit a target to save his afterlife.

So he cast them all onto NFL Network for a night instead.

And it hurt muchly.