Three rounds in, and there's no NBA playoff thread? Either there's a lot of apathy about the NBA, or... ok, I got nothing. There must be a lot of apathy about the NBA. Maybe you're all just NCAA fans. Which means you should be able to appreciate my dilemma.
The nice thing about college sports is that players usually aren't around long enough to move from teams that you hate to teams that you like, (Justin Boren aside). Once a player becomes a target for your fanatic vitriol, they usually can stay a target for the remainder of their collegiate career, and you can boo them (or throw water bottles at their parents) to your heart's content.
Now I don't want to go into a long story about where my favorite teams are and why; just suffice it to say that I've always grown up loving the Bulls. Even pre-Jordan. Even pre-Gilmore. (I know, "Who"?) Regarding college sports, I've also grown up loving the OSU Buckeyes and KY Wildcats. Which means that there are certain college teams (and by extension, players) I hate with the passion of 10,000 suns, including anyone who ever played for M*ch*g*n, Fl*r*da, (pardon my foul language) and DookSUUUUX!
So this NBA season has been a conundrum of the highest proportions for me. Here I find my Bulls stacked with the following:
1) a one-and-done illiterate victim of the sanctimonious NCAA exploitation machine who is largely responsible for chasing a sleazeball coach into the waiting arms of my beloved KY Wildcats, where he's bound to kill the program with his slimy recruiting tactics
2) a one-and-done punk-assed beyotch from DookSUUUUUUUX,
3) another punk-assed beyotch from DookSUUUUX whose unfortunate alcoholic-like name still gives my Maryland friends PTSD eye-twitches to this day, 10 years after the "water bottle" game
4) a recently-drafted thug from the USC Condoms (another hated team),
5) a pasty-faced, gap-toothed, mealy-mouthed, Medusa-locked, fugly, sonuvaFroggin hack from that most vile of all vile SEC schools and who is one of the primary reasons why that most vile of all vile SEC schools needs to be buried neck-deep in a carefully-mixed concoction of its own vomit and excrement for the next 40 or so years (not that I'm bitter about 2007. Oh no)
and 6) Ashton Kutcher.
And yes, the Bulls DO have a starting 2-guard from my beloved KY Wildcats, who probably lead the league this past season in LEAST number of minutes played of any starting 2-guard in the league.
So tell me: how do I root for these guys? How do I keep my gut instinct in check and refrain from pelting them with water bottles? I mean, these are the BULLS, right? I should be happy. Any suggestions?
It helps that they're currently playing the Miami Asshats, but still...