In a desperate attempt to do what so many people already did -- get the hell out of Detroit -- the Vikings, after learning their own stadium would not be fixed by Monday, booked a Minneapolis-local college field for their use. It was large enough, complex enough, and could theoretically serve enough beer while kissing enough Favre rear, often simultaneously. There was just one minor issue: after the latest turn of weather, large parts of the field and seats were buried under five-foot snowdrifts. (Roof? What roof?)

Around here, we're used to it. This happens to the Giants & Jets semi-regularly. And when it does, the teams call for volunteers to show up at the stadium and dig it out for the compensation rate of typically $16.00 per hour and all the backaches they can take away.

The college is also asking for volunteers to dig out the Gophers stadium. And they are offering -- the lovely warm glow that comes from volunteering. Also all the backaches you can take away. But they do have a limited supply of shovels which you may be allowed to borrow, as long as you sign them out and leave a deposit which is not to total less than fifty times the value of the shovel as purchased by the Pentagon.

The NCAA met the NFL, and the concept of 'salary' turned into a sin.

What. A. Shock.

All player game checks to be voluntarily donated to the Gophers' head coach as a mandatory gift. Just because.